


I don't like being handed things

by lotticorn



Series: Workplace Hazards [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Avengers Family, Bored Tony, Domestic, Elevator Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Injured Tony, Issues, M/M, Panic Attacks, Poor Tony, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sexual Content, Sickfic, Slash, Stony - Freeform, Superhusbands, Swearing, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony-centric, annoyed Tony, crackfic, worried steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-26
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-03 17:15:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 55,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2858660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lotticorn/pseuds/lotticorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If it hadn't been for the stupid fucking toad, Tony wouldn't be dying of boredom now. And he wouldn't have to put up with surveillance state Steve. It was just a broken arm, for fuck's sake!<br/> </p><p>In which Tony gets hurt and finds himself with way too much time and a very worried Steve. Who he might be falling for. Fast. But that's stupid because he's Tony Stark, a man with enough issues to make a seasoned therapist weep, and Steve is Captain America and pretty much perfect and it's never gonna work out anyway. Right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fucking stupid biologists

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spaceywaffles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceywaffles/gifts).



> Wrote a Stony-fanfic for the bae! Enjoy!  
> Started out as a meaningless crackfic and turned into an angst-monster...

There was a loud, resounding ‘crack’ and Tony felt the blood drain from his face. Then he was smashed face forward into the window of a – fortunately already evacuated – restaurant, crashed through it and landed in a heap on the floor.

“Iron Man, status!” Steve commanded over the comm unit and Tony groaned. “Still alive and kicking, Cap! Might need to replace a window or two, but y’know, collateral damage and all that” he responded and struggled to get up. He felt strangely light-headed and it didn’t help that the restaurant had apparently decided to turn into a merry-go-round especially for him and seemed to be revolving and swaying back and forth at the same time. Or maybe that was just him.

“It’s most definitely you, sir. It seems you have a concussion and I am sorry to report that you right arm is most likely broken. I advice you seek medical assistance immediately, sir, and update Captain Rogers as to your condition.”

Tony nearly flinched at JARVIS’ calm and collected voice and grabbed a nearby table for support. Damn. For a routine mission, this had turned sour fast.  
“Shut up, JARVIS, no one asked for your opinion, I’m good to go, the suit’s not damaged, we’re golden”, he ground out between clenched teeth and took a few wobbly steps before setting off his repulsors and dashing off down the street towards the rest of his team.

Which was fighting a gigantic mud-brown toad.

“Ah, awoken from your beauty sleep, Iron Man?” an amused voice greeted him when he reached the scene. “Fuck off, Hawkeye! How about you give our frog prince over here a nice little kiss? Maybe he’ll transform and you’ll finally find the one” Tony suggested with a grin that no one could see behind the mask.

“Guess he didn’t want one from you, judging how he smashed you straight through a building and into a wall. And look at that! You haven’t turned into a prince either, I’m disappointed, Stark. Just the same jackass as before…” Clint was perched on the roof of a nearby building, shooting tranquilizers at the monstrosity, the same ones they usually used for the Hulk, and they were finally, painfully slowly showing some effect.  
At first, the use of the sharp little things had caused to enrage the newest failed experiment – biologists, Tony thought bitterly, nothing but trouble – resulting in quite a few civilian casualties and an enormous material damage to the city of New York.  
Now, the toad seemed to be slowing down, its movements growing more sluggish by the second.

“Toads are not the same as frogs, idiots! Iron Man, some help down here?” Black Widow barked over the comm and Tony raised his right arm in a mock salute. Or at least he tried. It hurt like a bitch and brought tears to his eyes. Fuck it all. “…broken, you said?” he asked JARVIS under his breath while using his left hand to blast a beam at the crumpled street the toad was standing on, causing it to crack open even more, trapping the huge thing. Natasha jumped backwards and Steve, who had been behind the toad to make sure it didn’t destroy anything else, retrieved his shield and walked towards them. The monster’s eyes slowly closed and Tony lowered the suit to the ground carefully.

“Yes, sir. You require immediate medical assistance; your bone might need to be set in order to avoid permanent damage. This is serious, sir, and, if I may say so, nothing you can keep from the rest of the Avengers. They will find out in a matter of minutes, so spare yourself the embarrassment and be honest for once please, sir.”

“Aw, JARVIS, are you worried? I’m touched!”

“No, sir, I just want to facilitate the lives of Captain Rogers and the rest of the people who have to put up with you at a daily level. And at the same time I still hold some hope that you might turn into a responsible adult some of these days.” JARVIS sounded cynical even as he said it and Tony chuckled.

“Oh JARVIS, you should know better than that! But SHIELD medical, really? Can’t Bruce just have a look at it?” He knew he was whining, but he didn’t care. It was, after all, his AI-butler he was whining to, and there was no one else there to hear him, so it didn’t matter. And, as he had just stated, Tony Stark was pretty much everything but a responsible adult anyway.

“Dr. Banner and Mr. Odinson are at Dr. Foster’s research facility in New Mexico at the moment and even if he was here, Dr. Banner himself has repeatedly stated that he is quote: ‘not that kind of doctor’, sir.”

Right, there was that. Tony had started to wonder why it had been so quiet in the tower lately. Bruce and Thor weren’t at home, that explained it!

“Target is down, good job, everyone. Status? Is anyone hurt?” Steve asked and looked around. Clint had somehow managed to descend the building and was currently sitting on what looked like a chunk out of an office building. He shook his head and wiggled his arms around with a lazy smile on his face. “Completely fine, Cap”  
Natasha took a seat next to him and wiped at her face. There was a shallow cut on her cheek from some debris, but other than that she was fine.  
Satisfied, Steve turned towards Tony. “Everything alright, Tony?” he asked again, this time with a hint of concern in his voice.

Stupid fucking megalomaniac biologists with their stupid fucking failed experiments who all had to have their fucking labs in NYC! He should just get JARVIS to compile a list of all biologist research facilities in the New York area and he’d check them out himself, one by one, to make sure this didn’t keep on happening. By now it was really just one hell of a nuisance for everyone involved and an embarrassment for SHIELD and the Avengers!

“Stark? Open up your visor and let me see your face, the thing smashed you into a building!” Ah, nice. Steve’s voice had taken on an edge now, he was using his commanding Captain America-voice that was inherently different from his nice guy Steve Rogers-voice. Tony kinda hated that voice.

“Calm your tits, Cap, I’m good. Just a little banged up, kinda broke my right arm a bit, but it’s nothing I can’t handle, nothing I haven’t had before, don’t worry, I’ll be fine, really, I’m just fucking tired of fucking failed experiments, like, really, why do people keep making those things, what are they trying to accomplish, what could you possible use a giant toad for, and where are you taking me, Steve, ow, no, don’t touch my shoulder, please, yes, it hurts, don’t give me that look, ouch…”  
The incessant blabbing didn’t seem to faze Steve in the slightest and so Tony was dragged off to medical by a stern looking Captain. “Anything else I should know about?”

Tony was instantly taken aback by the question, a bad feeling creeping up on him. “Like what, Capsicle? It’s not…my suit didn’t go wandering around the tower again, did it? Or was it the tabloids? Those people lie, y’know? I haven’t done shit like that in ages! Look, I, whatever I did, I didn’t do it on purpose, I swear! I even know that Bruce and Thor are with Thor’s girlfriend right now, oh yes, I do pay attention when people talk to me. So, whatever this is about, I’ve got no part in it, cross my heart and hope to die” He made a dramatic gesture with his left arm for emphasis - the right hurt too much and he doubted he could have lifted it - and gave Steve what he hoped was an earnest smile.

He received a look of befuddlement in return, followed by a sigh. “I meant injuries, Tony. Is it only your arm or are you hiding something? Funny how you always just assume I’m calling you out on something…guilty conscience much?” Steve shook his head and talked to the nearest SHIELD medic and Tony felt a strange mixture between relieved and stupid.

“So. You pay attention when people talk to you, is that right, sir?” an icy voice asked and Tony rolled his eyes. “Don’t be a diva, JARVIS, at this point, you’re practically people.”  
The AI made a noise like an offended cough and Tony looked around.  
The Cap had somehow disappeared, run off somewhere and was now nowhere to be seen and Tony contemplated simply sitting down on the street. He wasn’t feeling too great right now, if he was being honest. Of course, being honest with himself was not something Tony Stark excelled in, but then again, he couldn’t be great at everything, that wouldn’t be fair to the rest of the world. Not when you were already a genius, billionaire…urgh, this pain was slowly becoming unbearable, now that the adrenaline from the fight was receding. And it was his right arm, too, fucking toad, he needed his arms, both his arms, but he was right-handed and this was gonna suck, he could feel it.

Fucking biology experiments!


	2. Fucking stupid doctors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and comments, guys!   
> Enjoy chapter two!

JARVIS had been right, it was a fucking fracture and now Tony’s arm was in a goddamn cast, was supposed to stay in there for six fucking weeks. Yeah, Tony didn’t think so. The sling he was wearing was already annoying the hell out of him.  
He muttered curses under his breath, swearing about SHIELD and biologists and the NYPD and the Avengers and fragile human bodies the whole way up to his personal floor. 

Just as he got out of the elevator, JARVIS’ voice chimed in.   
“Captain Rogers is up ahead, awaiting your arrival. He wants to talk to you and has asked me to temporarily block the elevator so you are not tempted to postpone the conversation by doing something immature as run away. I have assured the Captain that you are feeling exceptionally honest and mature today and seeing as you pay attention when people talk to you, this should be a lovely opportunity to use this particular skillset. Sir.” With that the ceiling lights turned on in front of Tony, revealing a tense looking Steve in front of his bedroom door. 

Now Tony definitely couldn’t run away. How had JARVIS turned out this snarky and bitchy? What crime had Tony committed that even his AIs turned on him? Filthy traitor!

“Cap? Whatcha doing? Waiting for the invalid to show up?” 

Steve smiled wryly at him. “How are you feeling, Tony?” He had changed out of his uniform and was now dressed more casually. Or just about as casual as Captain America got, meaning he was wearing a white shirt that was a perfect fit and beige chinos that didn’t have a single stain on them. For a second Tony felt something aching to self-consciousness, painfully aware of his own faded black shirt and too loose jeans full of holes, but then he remembered that he was Tony Stark and looked fuckable in pretty much everything and the moment passed. 

“Just peachy, I need a drink. Wanna move this serious talk to the bar, fearless leader?” He turned towards the bar when he was grabbed firmly by the shoulders, stopping him. Ouch. 

“You can’t possibly drink now! You are taking serious painkillers, Tony, this is not a joke! You can’t mix alcohol and medicine!” The expression on Steve’s face was adorably outraged. Despite being a super-intelligent, super-strong super soldier, the Captain could be amusingly naïve at times. 

“I have and I will, Cap, don’t get your star-spangled panties in a bunch.” 

“Don’t…God, Tony, can you just take this seriously for one second? It’s your health we’re talking about! You never take care of yourself, you’ve already made plans to take the cast off as soon as I’m gone, haven’t you?” 

Tony, who had freed himself of Steve’s clutched and moved over to the bar anyway even though he knew he didn’t stand a chance against the Cap, raised his left arm to clutch at his heart. “I am wounded that you would even think that, Steve!”

“But you actually are wounded, Tony, that’s the point!” 

“Oh, shut up, you!” he stuck out his tongue at Steve and started the coffee maker. If he couldn’t have a drink, he’d at least get some coffee. “Six weeks is excessive, you know that. The fuck am I supposed to do with only one arm for all that time, huh? D’you want me to just, y’know, do nothing? Seriously, Cap! That’s not gonna work and you know it, I’m gonna drive myself crazy, hell, I’m gonna drive all of you guys crazy, even more than I usually do and do you really want that?” The coffee maker beeped, indicating that it was finished and Tony filled a mug. He turned to Steve, who was frowning, and nodded. “Yeah, didn’t think so. So this” he gestured to the cast, coffee mug in his left hand, “needs to go!” 

Steve actually had the audacity to take the mug away from Tony who couldn’t even put up a fight in his banged up state. Not that it would have made a difference except for his self esteem maybe.   
“There’s absolutely no need for you to be drinking coffee now, it’s late and you’re hurt and it’s not like you can work on anything anyway. Just go to sleep and give your body some time to heal. Come on, bedroom!” With that, he simply pushed Tony out of the room. The coffee stood on the bar, abandoned, still steaming. It made Tony’s heart ache. 

But he had to admit, only to himself, though, not out loud, God, the thought alone was enough to make him cringe, that the Captain was right. His whole body ached and his head felt fuzzy. And he was tired, exhausted even. The painkillers SHIELD had given him were top-notch, though; thank Nick Fury for small mercies. And it was pretty dark outside, he affirmed with a quick look out of the large windows overlooking New York City. 

“JARVIS, what time is it?” he asked, just to make sure. 

“It is currently 1:07 AM, sir. I should bring to your attention that Miss Potts has called three times, asking to speak to you. She sounded worried and was inquiring after your health. I advice that you call her back as soon as possible, sir, or she might just take it up herself to ascertain herself of your condition in person. It wouldn’t be the first time.” 

Tony just groaned in response. The whole world seemed to be against him. If Pepper knew about his broken arm, the chance of him taking off the cast earlier would become very slim. Pepper and Steve combined would be a force to be reckoned with.   
He threw a sideway glance at Steve, who had his eyebrows raised in expectation, and groaned again. 

“I don’t wanna call her…” he whined while Steve continued to push him through the hall. Why was he letting himself be manhandled like that?

“Of course you’re going to call her, she’s one of your closest friends, you ex-girlfriend and the CEO of your company. Call her right now!” Steve opened the bedroom door and placed Tony on the couch. The lights were dimmed, the exact brightness to cause sleepiness. Then he took out his StarkPhone – Tony had equipped all the Avengers with one, muttering about lousy tech and unsafe lines and bad reception and downplaying the present, so that no one would think he’d done it out of generosity – and selected Pepper from his list of saved contacts before Tony could snatch the phone out of his hand. 

“Traitor! You’re all traitors, the whole lot of you! Even JARVIS is in on it, and I created him!” Tony exclaimed sounding exceptionally whiny. Steve patted him on the head as Pepper picked up. 

“Yes, sorry for the late call, it’s Steve. No, no, don’t worry, Tony is right beside me, it’s nothing that bad” With a stern look he passed the phone to Tony who seemed to be in the process of melting into the cushions. He glared at Steve and took the phone. The Captain would get payback for that! 

“Hey Pep” he drawled in his patent smooth Tony Stark-voice. This was so unnecessary! 

“Tony!” she shrieked on the other end. “How are you, what happened? I only saw the video footage” –he’d have to have a serious talk with Coulson about who they granted access to that – “and you were thrown into a house! Are you okay?” 

“You know me, I’m golden, little roughed up on the edges, but nothing to worry about” he tried to assure her and was met with a cough and a sideway glance from Steve, who had raised his eyebrows. His expression looked like it could be found in a dictionary right next to the definition of ‘displeased’ and Tony sighed barely audibly. 

“But that’s not all, is it? What are you not telling me?” Pepper asked carefully and he had to suppress the sudden urge to scream ‘Fuck my life!’ from the rooftops. 

“It’s nothing bad, Pepper, I just might have accidentally happened to kinda break my arm a bit, but it’s cool, nothing to worry about, really, don’t freak out” 

Steve’s expression shifted to ‘incredulous’ but Tony just shrugged noncommittally. 

“Oh, Tony” Pepper muttered and managed to sound so concerned, resigned and disappointed all at the same time that Tony wanted to crawl into a whole for making her feel all that. “Do you need help with anything? I’m in New York for another two weeks anyway, I could come over.” And have more people treating him like he was made of glass? No, one overly worried Captain America was enough for that job, thank you very much. 

“I appreciate it, but there’s really no need. Steve here’s got me covered, hasn’t let me out of his sight ever since I arrived. He even took my coffee from me, can you imagine? On that thought, maybe you could come over and distract him? This is getting kinda exhausting and he’s got an unfair advantage…” 

She laughed and Tony’s features melted into a soft smile. “I think I’ll leave you in the capable hands of Steve for now. Goodbye Tony, call me if you need anything and get some rest. Thank Steve again for me, will you?” 

“Right, will do. Thanks, Pepper, good night.” With that, the call disconnected and Tony hummed to himself. “She said to say thanks to you, dunno why, really, you’re a righteous pain in the ass, my friend.”

The lights dimmed even further and Tony glanced at Steve. 

“You told Pepper that I was taking care of you. So that’s what I’m doing, taking care of you. And since it’s the middle of the night and you are injured and exhausted, that means it’s bedtime now. Come on!” The Captain had gotten up and was now pointing at the bed. Tony just raised an eyebrow. 

“Seriously? No offense, but the only times people have pointed at this bed was for something different than tucking me in. Unless of course you are offering, in which case, sure, let’s go right ahead, bed it is! You can stay the night, baby!” He leaned back with a shiteating grin, ready to see Steve squirm and blush and be all awkward like he always did. 

Instead, he simply sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Then he stripped off his chinos without batting an eye and climbed into the bed. 

Tony blinked. And blinked again.   
“Did I hit my head, too?” he murmured quietly and Steve chuckled. 

“Not that I know of, no. But you said you’d come to bed if I stayed, so here we are.”

Tony still couldn’t believe his eyes. “JARVIS, tell me what I’m seeing.”

“Sir, I can only assume, but most likely you are seeing Captain Rogers lying in your bed. Do you want me to schedule another medical appointment for tomorrow to check on your eyesight and brain functions?”

He let out a dry laugh and got to his feet. “Your joked are not funny, JARVIS, just stop.”

“I had no intention of being funny, sir, I’m merely worried.”

“Right.” 

“Good night, Captain Rogers, good night, sir” JARVIS said, somehow managing to sound smug. 

Tony ran his left hand over his face and sighed a grave sigh. “Everyone around me is nuts…” 

Steve was still in his bed, eyebrows raised, waiting. He had folded his chinos and put them neatly on a chair as if it was nothing. Wait. It was nothing, wasn’t it? Hell, Tony himself had slept in countless beds with countless people over the years under much stranger circumstances, so why was he freaking out about this? It was just Steve, they lived together, for God’s sake! A tiny voice inside his head – that sounded strangely like JARVIS, to be honest – whispered that yes, sleeping with someone wasn’t a big deal, it was more the act of just sleeping next to someone that was foreign to him. And God, yes, the voice was right, this was so strange, and it wasn’t just someone but Steve who was Captain America and lying in his bed only wearing a shirt and boxers which really shouldn’t be much of a deal either, since they regularly sparred together and changed and- 

“Tony. Bed.” 

“Right. Right, right, right. Right away. God, Rogers, don’t use your Captain America-voice in the bedroom, do you want me to jump you?” He chuckled and stripped off his jeans, leaving them on the floor right in front of the bed. Then he wiggled his arm out of the sling and managed to somehow get out of his shirt. Stupid fucking cast. He sat down on the bed and rested his head on his left arm. “Seriously, though, you don’t have to do this. I’m not gonna run down to the workshop and have Dummy take off the cast, I value my life too much for that. I’m just gonna go to sleep.”  
He felt Steve shift behind him and turned around to see the other man pat the mattress.   
“Just lie down, Tony, it’s no big deal. Besides, you don’t really value your life all that much, so that’s a rather bad argument. Don’t tell Dummy I said that, though.” 

Tony groaned and decided to just accept it for now. He was tired, hurting and this bizarre conversation was wearing him out even more. If Steve really thought he had to sleep in Tony’s bed, he just should. Whatever. 

“Urgh, whatever, Cap. Just don’t complain if I steal the blanket or end up snoring or anything!” He let his head fall down on the pillow and the lights turned off. 

“Good night, Tony” 

“I said whatever!”


	3. Fucking stupid breakfast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year, dearest readers!

When Tony blearily pried his eyes open, he was met by sunrays falling into his bedroom. Huh. That was new. Sunrays meant morning and he was in his bed, so he must have slept in his own room through the whole night until morning. Wow!

Of course then again he had kinda been knocked out cold by whatever Fury’s medics had given him and his general exhaustion and- oh. Steve. Steve had been there, right there, in Tony’s bed…hadn’t he?

Carefully, though as to not aggravate his stupid fucking broken arm, goddamn nuisance that it was, fuck it all! , Tony shifted on the bed and leaned on his right side. Right. As he had thought, there was no one in the bed with him. Not really all that shocking, Captain America probably got up at 5am, nice and early and righteous, to get ready for another day of spreading patriotism and American values and all that shit.  
God, Tony was bitter in the morning.

“JARVIS, what time is it?” he asked, his voice croaky.

“Good morning, sir. It is 8:53am on a Wednesday, in case you were wondering.”

Tony hummed to himself. “Good to know…um, JARVIS, not to sound creepy or anything-“

“Fighting a losing battle there, sir, you don’t have to keep on trying for my sake”

“-haha, no, what I wanted to ask is, uh, did Steve stay the night? Like, I know I got morphine or some shit, wasn’t really paying attention, and it could have potentially been a hallucination, fucking convincing one, but then again, I am a genius, I guess when I hallucinate then I hallucinate fucking awesome, but uh, not important right now, just tell me if Steve and I slept together. Like, not like that, I know we didn’t, God, what am I saying, I need my coffee, I mean in my bed, sleep sleep, Captain America and me. Did we?”

JARVIS didn’t seem fazed by Tony’s incessant rambling, but then again he was used to it. “Captain Rogers left at 7:17am because there was an emergency, sir. He left you a note on your nightstand and asked me to alert him should you and I quote ‘Even so much as think about going to the damn workshop’. He is quite worried still, sir.”

“Uhu, right. What kinda emergency? Avengers stuff?” he struggled to sit up and wiggled his body to the side of the bed to reach for the note. Why did Steve have to be so old-fashioned? He could have simply shot Tony a text or have JARVIS record a voice message…

“It seems that way, sir, seeing as it was Agent Coulson who called upon him and Agent Barton. Do you want me to look into the SHIELD data base to find out more, sir?”

“I’m proud of you, JARVIS, you’re finally suggesting illegal activities all by yourself! I raised you good!” Tony exclaimed, grabbing the note. It was a solid sheet of paper and the text was written in pencil. Most likely ripped out of Steve’s sketchbook, Tony’s brain supplied.

“I exist to cater to your every need, sir.” JARVIS said drily and Tony grinned.

“Damn right you do! So, if Steve and Barton are gone, where’s Natasha? She on some private kinda spy business?” This was good. With all the agents gone and Bruce and Thor still in the middle of nowhere, Tony had more than enough time to get rid of the ridiculous cast and start working on improving the suit’s suspension and add some padding so that something like this could never happen again. He was Tony Stark, for fuck’s sake, he didn’t take sick days!

“Agent Romanov has stayed behind and is currently having breakfast in the community room, sir.”

“Oh screw you, Steve!” That was typical! Surveillance state Steve, overprotective pain in the ass! Fuck!

“Good morning, Tony” the note said, “Coulson has called, they’ve found and secured the lab and want us to take a look. A few of Professor Xavier’s X-Men are helping us, it shouldn’t take too long. I’ve made pancakes, they’re in the kitchen, please have some. Get some rest, I’ll see you later. Steve”

No word about Romanov, who was apparently on babysit-duty. Who did Steve think he was? Apart from, of course, Captain America and the Avenger’s team leader, but really? He didn’t seriously expect Tony to listen to him, he couldn’t be that naïve, surely. And honestly, making pancakes to bait him? That was low! He didn’t even want them, he didn’t need them, he just needed coffee. Coffee was in the kitchen. The kitchen was placed in the community room. And in the community room, Natasha was waiting for him. Fuck it all.

“Hey, JARVIS?” Tony asked as he got up.

“Sir?”

“Do we still have the video of Pepper fighting with me, y’know, the one with all the shouting and her telling me that she trusted me and that I betrayed that trust and all the tears?”

There was a pause. Then, hesitantly “Sir. What do you need that particular video for?”  
Tony pulled up last night’s jeans with his left hand. This was annoying the hell out of him already and it hadn’t even been a full day yet.  
“Make a transcript of what Pepper said and send it to Steve.”

“Sir, I really wouldn’t advise you to-“

“JARVIS, c’mon! Those words are way too brilliant to use only once! I’m doing Pepper a favor, really, maybe she can get them published. It would be a crime keeping all that great material to myself, it’s wasted on me. After all, it’s not like I learn anyway! But Steve! Oh yes, this is gonna guilt-trip him, it’s fucking perfect! Do it, JARVIS”

“Yes, sir” the AI complied with a hint of strain in his voice.

Tony walked over to his wardrobe, which opened as he approached, and pulled out a black hoodie. He struggled into it, lightly cursing his arm under his breath, and finally gave up trying to put his arm in the sleeve. He looked ridiculous, but he was Tony Stark, so he told himself it didn’t matter. And he’d looked more ridiculous for dumber reasons.

When he entered the community room he spotted Natasha. She was dressed in plain jeans and a grey shirt with a black scarf hanging around her neck and lounging on the couch, a half-finished plate of pancakes in front of her. Some French artsy movie was playing in the background. Natasha didn’t look up as she greeted Tony. “Morning, Stark. Had a nice slumber party with the Captain?”

He grinned in reply. The worst thing to do was to show weakness in front of the Russian assassin. “Jealous, Romanov?”

She made a tch-sound and turned towards him, perfect eyebrow raised. “Of a guy who can’t even put on a sweater? Not really. Need some help with that sling of yours, Stark?”

He flicked her off and retrieved the largest cup he could find from the cupboard. He even managed to pour coffee into it left-handedly and only spill a little bit. For a second he felt immensely proud of himself.

“So you’re my babysitter? It’s just like the good old days, back when I was dying and you were lying about your identity…ah, well, you’re still lying about your identity, sweetheart, but now I’ve only got a fucking broken arm and there’s no goddamn need to fucking watch me! Why are you doing it? What’s Steve promised you in return? The last time it was Fury who ordered you, still kinda stupid if you ask me, but whatever, I kinda understand it, like, I mean I can grasp the concept, somehow. He’s your boss so you do what he tells you or something like that, never been employed. But Steve’s not even really your boss and I’m an obnoxious pain in the ass. So. Why are you doing this? What’s in it for you?” He slumped down in the chair opposite her and took a large gulp of his coffee. “Ah, coffee” he sighed, eyes closed, a blissful expression on his face.

Natasha walked over to him and pried the cup out of his hands. “I was being serious, Stark. Let me help you with your arm, this is pitiful, I feel bad just from watching.”  
With expert fingers she pushed the sleeve over the cast, took off her scarf and tied a makeshift sling with it. “There you go, no need to thank me.”

“Seriously though –thank you, I can’t survive by myself, just ask Pepper, I’m a horrible person, a kid, practically, except kids don’t drink and fuck as much I hope – why? Is Steve blackmailing you? Would he do something like that?”

Natasha sat back down on the couch, a small smile playing around her lips. “Wouldn’t you just love to know?”

Tony finished his coffee and scowled at her.  
“Anyway. I need to finish some repairs on the suit. You keep enjoying yourself with that French hipster-shit” He motioned to the TV and got up.

So did Natasha, who pushed him back down into the cushions. Was this becoming a thing? Because he was totally against this becoming a thing, really. It wasn’t cool, not in the least.

“Stay!” she commanded and got the plate with the remaining pancakes. Then she held it out to Tony, who just pursed his lips and drew his eyebrows together.

“I don’t like being handed things. Just put it down on the table or something.”

Natasha looked decidedly unfazed, but did as she was told. “Uhu. Please eat some, Steve made them himself.”

“Fucking Steve needs to get a job…” Tony grumbled, but started digging into the pancakes nevertheless. His movements were uncoordinated and awkward and he felt like a caveman. This had to be the way Thor was feeling all the time, he thought idly, as he used his fork to rip off another part of the pancake.  
When he looked up, he noticed that Natasha was taking pictures with her phone.

Fucking traitors, all of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm supposed to be studying. I wanna cry. Pity me.


	4. Fucking stupid twitter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, college finals are eating me alive...  
> Thanks for all the kudos and comments, you guys give me life!

Tony didn’t receive any kind of reply to his text to Steve, but if he was being honest, he hadn’t expected any. He just hoped Fury or Coulson or whoever Steve had been with at the time had been able to appreciate Steve’s expression of utter hopelessness and frustration – Tony could bring it out so well. He snickered at the thought. 

He had finished the pancakes in record-time and had even attempted small talk with Natasha. It hadn’t gone too well, but he had tried, there was some value in that, right? 

And Natasha, fucking traitor that she was, had posted the pitiful, disgraceful, downright embarrassing –coming from Tony Stark that was saying a lot – pictures on twitter right away using the tag #poortony. #poortony was trending now and poor Tony felt quite a bit humiliated. Still, kinda nice to see how many people cared about him and told him to get well soon. 

He had just propped his feet up on the couch table and leaned back, eyes closed for a brief moment, when his phone chimed. It was Rhodey’s ringtone. “Ah, fuck…” Tony muttered and threw Natasha an acidic glance. “It’s your fault that everyone’s freaking out about me right now!” He said and jabbed a finger in her general direction accusingly. 

“Oh, come off it, Stark. As if you’re not enjoying it.” She replied drily, not even bothering to look up from her StarkPhone. It was his tech! She was committing these atrocities using his babies! Fucking rude! 

“Ah, don’t get me wrong, I got no problem with people talking about me, what with the whole genius, billionaire, philanthropist, playboy and uh, I dunno, me being Iron Man, I mean, that’s a lota stuff to talk about, I could talk about me for ages, I’m just that interesting, no shit. But this. This is fucking uncool! This…even for you, that’s low!” 

The artsy movie had ended and some kind of documentary about lavender fields in France was playing in the background. Tony hadn’t known that Natasha was apparently a Francophile. But then he didn’t really know the first fucking thing about her anyway so not knowing her preferences in countries was probably a minor detail. 

Finally Natasha raised her head and smiled at Tony. It was a smile that radiated superiority, one of the kind that Tony had worked his whole life to achieve and failed miserably and she pulled it off just like that. Fucking unfair. “Stop whining and get some rest. You need to get well soon, poor Tony.” 

“I’ll have JARVIS file an official complaint about you and send it to SHIELD…” Tony murmured and opened Rhodey’s message. He had been ready for the worst – ranging from Pepper-esque reproaches to threatening to have the army confiscate his tech – but he was pleasantly surprised.   
“Hey man, saw #poortony, isn’t that a bit too much, even for your ego? Anyway, I hate to ask this of you when you’re supposed to be resting but you and me both know that you’d never rest anyway, so here it comes. We found a terrorist group’s weapon depot and secured their tech. No idea who it’s from. We need to know as much as possible about the weapons ASAP. I know you don’t work for the military, but I’m asking for a favor. Consider it and give me a call” it read. 

Tony set his feet on the ground and got up. Huh. Rhodey hadn’t asked anything of him for quite some time now. Phone in hand, he started to pace the spacious room.   
He didn’t like the idea of building tech for the military. Things had kinda…gotten sour after he had refused to turn over the Iron Man suit all those years ago and the relationship between Stark Industries and the US army had never been the same as before. Still. What Rhodey was asking for was an advisor; it didn’t have anything to do with building. And Tony was really fucking bored by now, nearly out of his mind, ready to start inventing some shit that would blow up in his face-bored, so this would be a nice way to pass the time. And he wouldn’t even have to use his right arm too much, mostly his eyes, and they were perfect, no damage there, so Steve wouldn’t be able to find a reason to complain even if he tried! Hah! 

Decision made, Tony stopped his pacing in front of the coffee pot, poured himself another cup, and said “JARVIS, tell Rhodey that nothing’s too big for my ego. And tell him to deliver the weapons as soon as the army can, which is probably sometime next year, but I want the data now. Everything they got, report, photos, blueprints, anything that could be important, I want it on my server.” 

“Yes, sir.” The AI replied dutifully. 

Tony transferred the phone to his pocket, grabbed the cup and made for the door. When he had reached the floor, Natasha’s voice cut through the room. “Where do you think you’re going, Stark?”

“Uh, elevator” Tony motioned with his head down the hall. “And then workshop. Rhodey needs some genius input and I’m the only genius around, so…it’s a hard life, let me tell ya” He winked at her and walked on. 

“I’ll tell Steve, you’re aware of that, right?” 

He hesitated minutely, then turned around to grin at her. “So? What’s he gonna do, lock me in my room? I appreciate his concern, it’s…touching, really, but I got work to do and Steve can’t keep me from my own goddamn workshop in my own fucking tower!” With that he gave Natasha an awkward salute with his cast and left. 

Stupid, perfect goody Steve! First he had slept in Tony’s bed – what the fuck, by the way? Tony hadn’t really processed that one yet, it had been way too bizarre even for his taste - then he had made Natasha the responsible babysitter and he even had the guts to tell Tony that his workshop was off limits? That was cute, really. A for effort, Steve. But Tony Stark didn’t play by the rules, too bad so sad. 

The workshop looked just the same as he had left it – thanks to Dummy not doing any work. Bits and pieces and instruments and engine parts and wires were strewn everywhere and the strong smell of motor oil and grease was omnipresent. Tony took a deep breath and noticed how he calmed visibly. He had missed his workshop! It had only been two days, but still, at his core he was an inventor and inventing stupid shit was what made him the happiest. Apart from maybe a nice party with some expensive booze and cheap girls…   
But inventing was 100% better than getting his ass kicked regularly by fucking ugly failed biology experiments, no question. 

“Sir, there is a call on your personal line for you” JARVIS’ smooth voice cut through Tony’s inner ramblings. 

“Right, put it through, must be Rhodey” 

Tony was wrong. It wasn’t Rhodey. And it wasn’t a normal phone call. 

A video opened, the hologram hovering at eye level and displaying Thor and Bruce’s faces in high definition. 

“Thor, Brucey boy, s’up? Trouble in paradise?” 

Thor’s earnest face was scrunched up in worry, all hard lines, a deep frown had replaced his usual good-natured grin. He was dressed in plaid, which made him look vaguely like a lumberjack. Or like a model who was supposed to look like a lumberjack. Bruce looked worried as well, but then he kinda always did, so Tony didn’t really register it anymore. He was in his usual faded lab coat. Which made sense, because the two avengers were in what looked to be a lab, about as neat and tidy as Tony’s workshop, clothes, coffee cups, stacks of papers and used plates strewn all over the place. Jane Foster’s lab in New Mexico.   
“Everything alright with Jane? You look kinda worried there, big guy” 

A brief look of confusion passed over Thor’s face, before he boomed “Friend Tony!”   
The corners of Bruce’s lips shot upwards and he couldn’t hide a small smile before his features morphed back into his patent Bruce Banner suffering slash worried expression. Somewhere in the back of his head Pepper’s stern voice said “Be nice, Tony, he’s your friend!”

“The lady Jane is in full health, be unconcerned. But you were wounded! The lady Natasha displayed photographs of your wounded state on the internet so that all your followers might see how valiantly you fought!”

Oh, fuck. Thor had twitter? Really? 

“But Tony!” he continued, his voice loud and majestic even over the video chat, “The expression poor Tony and a foreign symbol were used, Banner explained it to me, it means that you are unwell and we should hope for your swift recovery.”

“Really, that’s, that’s cute and nice of you and everything, but Nat just posted those pictures to annoy me. Steve made her babysit me cause he doesn’t trust me not to hurt myself or something, ridiculous, if you ask me, I’m a grown man, but what can you do, he’s Captain America, apparently he makes the rules even though this is my goddamn tower! But I’m fine, seriously, it’s just a broken arm, not the end of the world” Tony explained, waving the cast up and down so that Thor could see. 

The god, however, wouldn’t have it. Stubborn bastard. “We are returning to the tower to come to your aid! Now, in your time of need, we cannot stay away. Jane’s work can wait till you are well again!”

Fucking hell, the fuck they were! “Bruce! C’mon buddy! It’s just a broken arm, nothing funky!” Tony’s voice was dangerously close to pleading. He didn’t need even more avengers pitying him, watching every step he took and keeping him from his work so that he could “rest”. Fuckin nuisance the lot of them! 

But Bruce, traitor that he was – Tony seemed to be surrounded by them – just shrugged kinda helplessly. ”Sorry…Thor wouldn’t believe me when I told him that bones mend in just about six weeks if you leave them alone in the cast. Which you weren’t planning on leaving on for that long, but I didn’t tell him that.” The last sentence was spoken in a murmur. “Anyway, sorry, he’s a force of nature. So we’ll crash at the tower and be a pain in your ass and make sure you rest and don’t take off the cast. Sorry.” He shrugged half-heartedly, not looking sorry at all. 

“Banner does not prefer traveling with the help of Mjölnir, so we will be taking an airplane on the morrow!” 

“Fan-fucking-tastic, I can’t wait” Tony grumbled and Bruce chuckled. “Poor Tony”, he said and the line went dead. 

Sometimes Tony regretted certain life choices.


	5. Fucking stupid brain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration hit me in the head or something, I dunno... 
> 
> Warning: unhappy thoughts, nothing serious or graphic, though
> 
> Enjoy!

Turned out that managing holograms of foreign weapons left-handed wasn’t that much fun. And no piece of cake. Actually, it was really fucking frustrating.  
And Tony couldn’t even blame anyone else for his misery this time. Rhodey had promptly sent him all the data and thanked him profusely, JARVIS had started combing through every databank known to man and even the distinctly lesser known ones and Tony had set to dismantling the weapons and taking them apart, layer by layer. Well, his holographic versions of the weapons anyway, since – hadn’t he said it?! – the military hadn’t been able to send their stuff over yet, fucking overpaid morons. Tony had no idea if they actually were overpaid, but he had heard normal people exclaim stuff like that, so he went with it.  
Anyway, work was hard like that, a pain in the ass even, and not the walk in the park it should’ve been. Didn’t help that somehow everything fucking hurt for no apparent reason. Also didn’t help that the pain was getting stronger by the second and Tony felt like screaming in rage, frustration and pain. His head was pounding although he had consumed his usual amount of caffeine and the damn arm…god! Although it still rested in Natasha’s scarf-sling, every movement hurt like a bitch and the pain was spreading. By now, Tony felt like his whole right side was on fire and that was not a great feeling, actually, more along the lines of really fucking awful, and why couldn’t he concentrate on those damn shitty custom made weapons, everything was slipping away and there was just so much pain, fucking hell, why all that pain? 

Tony ran his left hand over his face. The hand was shaking and there was a thin layer of sweat on his brow. 

“JARVIS that-that’s enough, just, just save the progress and, uh, stop there for a second, I need to-“ he huffed out and slumped down on the battered couch in the workshop. Damn, he actually felt like crying. He hadn’t felt this miserable since…probably since Pepper had broken up with him and at that time he’d had a pretty bad concussion and several broken rips. And Pepper had broken up with him. Yeah, the pain from that day probably came close. 

He heard Dummy approach, his wheels whirring. Then he felt the robot’s claw on his head, petting it awkwardly, and Tony let out a chuckle that sounded dangerously close to a sob. He was being comforted by his bots, it was just like old times. 

“Sir, Captain Rogers is approaching the workshop. He seems to be…displeased.” JARVIS reported curtly, but Tony couldn’t be bothered to move. Moving would just mean more pain and he didn’t think he could handle any more right now. Steve would be mad, oh god, Steve would be so fucking mad, he’d told Tony not to go to the workshop, but Tony had accepted a job from the army and he’d failed spectacularly and now he was just a miserable mess and fucking hell, but maybe Steve had been right, he always was after all, but even if he had, what was Tony supposed to do all day, useless, all by himself in the tower if he couldn’t even build shit, like, what was he even good for when he couldn’t even build?  
Fuck, his head hurt, thinking hurt. 

“Tony, goddammit! Why can’t you listen just once! Do you do this on – oh God, Tony! What’s wrong? What happened? Talk to me!” Steve’s voice changed from angry to worried out of his mind in a split second after taking in Tony’s state. 

Tony pried his eyes open painfully. When had he closed them? “Steve…” he croaked and damn, even his voice sounded shaky. The fuck? 

“What’s wrong, c’mon, talk to me, Tony, tell me where it hurts” the Cap, no, Steve, he didn’t look like the stern Cap but like gentle Steve at the moment, coaxed. His brows were drawn together in concern. 

Tony couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him. It sounded kinda crazed even to his own ears. “Everywhere, Steve, it’s like…like even thinking hurts and I’m on fire and I can’t move.” 

Steve actually went down on his knees to be on Tony’s eyelevel and searched for his gaze, his face serious. “Tony. This will sound like a stupid question, but I want you to answer me earnestly. Can you do that?” 

Oh fuck. His brain supplied that this sounded like a bad idea, but he still responded “O…kay”

Steve nodded once. “Thank you. Did you take your medication? I left it on the nightstand, next to my note with a glass of water.” 

Oh. OH! Oh, fucking hell, how could he…dammit all! “…fuck me. I’m an idiot” Tony murmured, kinda ashamed and mostly just in pain. Crushed bones hurt. So did mild concussions. That’s why people took painkillers. Well, normal people anyway, the greatest genius of the century apparently didn’t, because he just forgot they existed, hey, no big deal, just excruciating pain and utter humiliation because he had to be reminded, but that wasn’t new to him, so why stress about it.  
“Steve…?”

“Yeah, Tony?” 

“I feel fucking miserable. And stupid. I’m not stupid. But everything hurts so much.” He paused, then, more quietly “Are you very mad at me?” 

He felt a warm, calming hand on his knee. It was a comforting touch, nice, really, and it didn’t hurt. Steve’s voice was warm, but there was a note of exasperation in it when he answered. “You’re injured, you sustained a mild head injury, it’s alright. I’ll get your painkillers, just wait a minute longer. I’m not mad, just worried. Why didn’t you call for anyone, there’s lots of people in the house. When you’re feeling better we’ll have a talk about this, but for now I’ll just get your medication, okay? I’ll be back in a minute.” 

Tony didn’t want to talk about this, whatever this was, it didn’t sound promising. ‘This’ was probably him, but not in a good way, people never wanted to have a talk with him about him in a good way, only in a you-done-fucked-up-good-way and it was seriously losing its charm. Okay, understatement, it made him feel like a fuck-up and always, every time it happened Tony felt painfully reminded of all the times Howard had told him what a fuck-up he was and that was a road he didn’t need to go down, nope, not now, not ever, really, why was he even thinking about this, where was he going with this, fuck no, thinking about Howard never ended well, shit – 

“Okay, here you go, open your hand!” Steve’s voice reappeared and Tony snapped his eyes open. Right. He was still in the workshop and Steve had brought painkillers. 

“Awesome, you’re a saint, Steve…” Tony muttered and first put the handful of brightly colored pills in all shapes and size – whatever, he didn’t even care right now – in his mouth and then took the offered glass of water to wash them down. The little movement aggravated his right side and made the pain even worse, but Tony told himself it was worth it. Then he slumped back on the couch. 

“Would you like to lay down for a bit? You keep a blanket and a pillow down here, don’t you?” Steve really was a saint. 

“Uhu, best idea I’ve heard so far…Dummy, pillow, blanket” 

The bot whirred around the lab, searching frantically for the items and Tony smiled weakly. “JARVIS, can you help Dummy?” 

“Certainly, sir.” 

For the second time in a row, Tony had the dubious luck to be tucked in by Steve. He could get used to it, he thought, and then he felt himself drifting away. 

 

This time, when he woke, the Cap was still there. He was sitting on a stool, sketchpad in hand, drawing intently. 

“You drawing me while I sleep? Totally not creepy or anything…” 

Steve winced and Tony grinned at him.

“You’re awake! That’s great!” He put the sketchpad on the floor and got up immediately. “How are you feeling? You look better, God, your face when I came down here, you looked close to dying! Scared the shit out of me, Tony!” He went over to the couch and Tony sat up to make some room. 

Now that Steve asked he really did feel better. In fact, he felt completely fine. “Yeah, I, sorry, sometimes I don’t think, like, I mean I do think, just not about the important stuff, I tend to forget that. Stuff like birthdays, and how people take their coffees and that you’re supposed to take painkillers when you’ve just broken your arm…” He grinned ruefully and looked up at Steve. Who didn’t return his grin. He didn’t look amused at all and sighed quietly instead. 

“It’s really not funny, Tony. When you’re in pain you need to tell someone. Hell, tell JARVIS if you don’t wanna talk to any of us! But please, for your own good, stop treating your health as some kind of joke! And don’t send me messages like this morning, that…that sounded like something Pepper would say and that’s not appropriate and not fair to her. I’m not doing this to belittle you, I do it because I care, Tony. And sometimes it seems to me as if you care too little and that scares me. And I’m sorry, I know I was a douche to you when we first met and I was wrong about you, so please-“ 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Tony raised his left hand, stopping Steve mid-sentence. “That’s enough, really, thank you, Cap, forgiven and forgotten, s’all fine, don’t sweat it, we’re golden.” 

Steve just sighed again, an unhappy expression on his face now. “I mean it, Tony.” 

Yeah, that was the problem. Steve meant it and Tony knew, Steve was the most honest, most earnest person he knew, if anyone meant what he said, it was Steve. But Tony just couldn’t do this right now, not this deep feelings-talk, nope, not when he was vulnerable as fuck and certainly not when Steve was talking about his good traits, because really, talking about his good traits was even worse than talking about how much of a fuck-up he was because it hurt even more because wow, he’d done something nice once in a while and the whole fucking world was speechless and awed, because usually he was such a shitty human being! 

“Yeah you do, I believe you, we’ve been over this, Capsicle, you’re sorry, I’m sorry, from what Thor’s saying even Loki’s sorry, we’re all sorry and it’s all smiles and sunshine and rainbows and unicorns. Yay!” 

Steve furrowed his brows and Tony grabbed his sleeve. “No, but really. Thank you. I, uh, wasn’t thinking straight and for what it’s worth, I’m glad you found me.” He added in a near-whisper, pointedly not looking at Steve. 

The Captain ruffled Tony’s hair once, quickly, and didn’t look as sad anymore. 

“About that drawing, though…” Tony drawled with a grin when he was sure that the serious moment had passed and there it was! The blush! Fuck yeah, he’d been right! Steve had been drawing him, creepy old man voyeur that he was! “I wanna see! I got a right to see, I demand you to show it to me right now!” 

Steve just sighed again, but there was a smile playing around his lips and Tony nodded to himself. Crisis averted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...the Stony is approaching...slowly!


	6. Fucking stupid waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your comments and kudos, people, I appreciate every single one of them!

The second day of his life as an invalid had been downright catastrophic, there was no other word for it. Tony couldn’t do shit, his brain was a mushy mess and Steve had had to save him again. All in all, it was not a promising outlook for the days to come. 

Tony was seated on the couch in the community room, clumsily typing away on his tablet with his left hand, zooming in and out of the pictures awkwardly while muttering under his breath. It was a pain and the work was going agonizingly slowly and Tony felt dumb because those terrorists really were just third-rate terrorists, nothing like the guys that had held him in Afghanistan or the guys Aldrich Killian had been working with. And still Tony couldn’t figure their shit tech out and he was losing it! He jabbed at the tablet as if he wanted to punch holes in it. 

“Easy there, Stark, you tryin to kill your own stuff?” Hawkeye asked from somewhere behind him, sounding amused. “Want me to smash it? I dunno what the thing did to you, but I can make sure it doesn’t do it again.” He laughed and Tony craned his head over his shoulder. “Touch my tablet and I’ll kick your sorry ass out on the street, Legolas.”   
Clint laughed even more and raised his hands in surrender, a wooden spoon clasped in one. He was currently making dinner, cooking something involving lots of veggies. Tony didn’t particularly care, he wasn’t hungry and he didn’t wanna interrupt his work for something weak as dinner. Nope. He had coffee and painkillers – god, those things were heavenly, he’d have to send a thank you-note to Fury – and Rhodey’s mystery weapons and that was all he needed for the rest of the day. And possibly the night, too. 

“Ah, but I’ve been meaning to ask…what did you send the Cap this morning? He looked seriously…flustered. It was awesome. And a bit concerning. He didn’t wanna share. You sending him dirty texts now?” 

Tony didn’t stop his calculations, muttering quiet commands to JARVIS. “Dirty texts? Did it look like that? Aw man, I wish I could’ve seen his face! Nah, it was a transcript of one of Pepper’s and my fights.” He shrugged, a smirk playing around his lips. 

Clint laughed out loud and went back to stirring the pot with one hand while adding even more vegetables with the other. Tony kinda envied him. “Man, Stark. You’re an evil bastard…”

“Don’t I know it…” Tony murmured. He was still exhausted, despite having slept the whole afternoon. He felt like a toddler, unable to do any actual work and sleepy all the time. He had even gotten tucked in twice, for crying out loud!   
The whole situation sucked.   
On top of that, he felt as if he were about to fall asleep on the couch. Fuck.   
He sighed gravely, it was a grave kinda situation after all, put the tablet down next to him and leaned back, eyes closed. It was infuriating as fuck, not to mention frustrating; he felt ready to hulk out. Or would have, if he were Bruce Banner. Weird train of thoughts, whatever.   
No one could possibly be that affected by a broken arm, fucking hell! That was just weak and so ordinary that it made Tony want to gag. If there was one thing he wasn’t, it was weak and ordinary. He was Iron Man! And Tony Stark! And yes, he was aware that the two were the same person, but whatever! Point being, he was awesome and this was pathetic.   
So he pried his eyes open, yawned loudly, and went back to fumbling with his tablet. Hah, dedication! 

Until it was firmly ripped from his grasp.   
“Hey! What the fuck?” His head snapped up and his eyes met Steve’s. Who looked kinda pissed again.   
“Give me back my tablet, pretty please, I don’t have time for this shit,” he said sternly. And he meant it. Yes, Steve, the people’s hero, had saved his ass only hours before, but that was in the past (he had even thanked the man!) and Tony couldn’t put up with his shit now. 

“We’re having dinner now, Tony. It says on your prescription that you need to eat a substantial amount of food or the medication will make you sick and I know for a fact that you’ve had nothing but pancakes and coffee so far. And since Clint was nice enough to cook, you’re having dinner now. With the rest of us.” He announced it as if it was a fact. In fact that fact, the fact that he’d said it all matter-of-factly, made Tony feel like talking back to Steve would make him look like a petulant child. Not that he particularly cared about his reputation and certainly not around the avengers, but he had a certain amount of pride. And he was just too fucking exhausted for a good fight, he’d never keep up with Steve’s sarcastic remarks like this. 

“Yes, sir. Are we gonna go to the park together afterwards and spend some quality time as a family? Or d’you feel like bonding over a movie?” he replied cynically but shuffled over to the table. It was already set for four people, apparently Natasha was still around. 

Steve just rolled his eyes at him and Clint maneuvered the huge pot over to the table. It was some kinda stew, Tony noted with a hint of gratefulness. It would be a pain holding a spoon in his left hand, but at least no one would have to cut his food for him. He wouldn’t be caught dead telling that to Barton, though, the smug bastard wouldn’t let him live it down. 

“Ah, still wearing my scarf, Stark.” Natasha remarked as she dropped down in the chair next to Tony. “I want that back.” She was dressed the same as before, minus the scarf of course, and her hair fell in soft waves. Tony was forever curious as to what Natasha’s hair really looked like. Was it curly, was it straight, was it even her hair or was she wearing a wig? So many questions and he’d never dare ask. He valued his life too much for that. Maybe he’d ask Hawkeye, the next time they were both blackout drunk. 

“Do you want me to have it cleaned beforehand?” Tony asked with a sweet, fake smile and the Widow just snorted. 

They had nearly finished eating – Steve was on his fourth bowl of stew, it was always intriguing to watch the man eat – when Tony remembered the video call. Huh. Maybe he should warn his teammates.   
“So, uh, team, just a head’s up. Thor is apparently following you-“ he motioned toward Natasha, “on twitter, saw the photos and freaked out. Now the brain and the brawl are coming over, tomorrow, to…how’d he put it…aid me in my time of need or something. Don’t you dare laugh at me, Barton!” 

But he did and so did Natasha. Even Steve cracked a smile and put a placating hand on Tony’s arm. “He’s just worried. People in Asgard don’t break bones like that.” 

“Doesn’t make it any better…” Tony grumbled. “I don’t have the time for entertaining Simba, Rhodey needs results.” 

From somewhere in the kitchen area, Tony could hear a quiet “Simba? That’s a new one” and he felt briefly proud of his ability to come up with stupid nicknames. Then he got up and walked over to the couch again to resume his working position, tablet balanced on his knees, brow furrowed, the fingers of his left hand ghosting over the surface, hovering there for a moment before tapping away rapidly.   
He was dimly aware of the fact that Steve had just sat down next to him. 

“What are you even working on?” he promptly asked and Tony sighed. Why did these people always have to talk to him when he was working? Yes, he was a genius and keeping a conversation going while discovering a new element was something he could do if he put his mind to it. Didn’t mean he liked dividing his attention, though. Right now, he’d rather focus on his work. 

“Some terrorist shit for Rhodey, gotta identify some weapons.” 

“Huh.” Steve was silent for a moment, bless his heart. Then he spoke up again and Tony couldn’t help but feel briefly annoyed. “You really are supposed to be resting, though. Don’t overexert yourself.” 

“I’m not, Cap, really. I just need to focus for a second now, so could you please shut it? Thank you.” He was fed up with the Captain’s crap. And apparently his message got through, judging by the silence he got. Beautiful. 

When Tony looked up some time later, he noticed that he was all by himself and that the sky had turned a dark blue. The city’s lights illuminated the night, but there was no doubt that it was quite late. Or early. Whatever.   
Tony had finally made a breakthrough, though, and found the weapons manufacturer as well as the terrorists’ headquarters. The SHIELD database didn’t have anything to do with that. 

He put the tablet aside and got up for the first time after several hours. When he stretched, he felt like an old man. His bruised body hurt even more, this time because he’d spent the last hours in a seriously unhealthy position on the couch. He ran his left ran through his hair and slowly made his way over to the coffee maker. If he wanted to finish this project, he needed energy. 

The tower was eerily silent at this time of night. It was different here than in the workshop. Tony didn’t have any music blazing and the lights were dimmed. It hadn’t bothered him much before because he simply hadn’t noticed, having been too immersed in his work. 

He returned to the couch and washed two pills down with a mouthful of coffee. Okay! That should keep him going for another ten hours or so. He suppressed a yawn, rubbed at his eyes and returned to the tablet. Fucking US army better be grateful. 

 

“Tony! What the! What are you doing here!?” Steve exclaimed and Tony pried his eyes away from the tablet, slightly disoriented. 

“Steve, I live here” he then deadpanned.   
The Captain was dressed in his workout-clothes, apparently about to go on his morning run. Yup, indeed, a quick glance out of the window told Tony that it had become morning. And he was nearly finished, awesome!

“Did you go to bed at all?” Steve asked, voice disbelieving. 

Tony just shrugged. “Nah, too much work. But I’m nearly done.” He smiled, content with himself and last night’s outcome. He had accomplished something! He hadn’t felt fucking useless all night – working still was a pain and his left hand had cramped up more than once – but now he needed just like, maybe an hour more, and he’d have them. Maybe he should call Rhodey. Nah, too much work.   
“JARVIS? Send all the stuff we found out to Rhodey, tell him I’ll be ready to strike in an hour.” 

“Yes, sir” the AI replied and Steve’s stare turned downright incredulous. 

“You’ll be ready to strike? What? Who? You’re in no shape to strike anyone or anything at the moment. Is this about the terrorists?” 

Tony had momentarily forgotten about Steve who still stood in the doorway, all white shirts and sweatpants and patriotism. He briefly wondered where that thought had come from. Maybe he really did need a couple hours of sleep. Then again, what was wrong about secretly admiring Steve a bit? After all, even though it didn’t seem like it most of the time, Tony was just another human being and Steve was Captain America. And who didn’t secretly (or not so secretly, judging by some blogs) think that the Cap was hot? He’d been made to look hot, all tall and muscular and blonde hair and blue eyes and righteousness and a smile that screamed ‘Trust me! I won’t disappoint you!’. Not to forget that he really was all nice and earnest like that. Steve came as close to the perfect human being as anyone ever would, Tony thought. But the again maybe his views weren’t the most objective ones, given that his father had been obsessed with Steve and that Tony had pretty much grown up with the perfect, unattainable role-model that was Captain America. Huh. It was probably no wonder he put the guy on a pedestal. 

“Tony?” 

“Huh?” Tony blinked stupidly before remembering the situation. “Ah, right, uh, we were talking, terrorists and shit. Yeah. Still about Rhodey’s terrorists, only I managed to find them and the company who makes their weapons and I know where their base is and where they store the weapons and I can just have the weapon’s depot blow up without anyone every knowing who did it. This will give the army the opportunity to take action without having to reveal that they were depending on my intel and without me having to admit that I used not-so-legal methods to obtain the info from the SHIELD database. Yeah…that’s the plan.” 

It was a solid plan. Tony was proud of his plan. 

“Yeah, no Tony, you’re not gonna do that, that is a horrible plan.” Apparently Steve wasn’t. 

“What? My plan is awesome! In fact, y’know, my plans are always awesome! Because I am awesome and a genius, so by default, ever plan I make is bound to be awesome! Just think about it, it’s perfectly logical.” 

“Right” Steve muttered and stepped over to Tony to ruffle his hair. “Keep telling yourself that” 

“Hey! I’m feeling like you’re not taking me seriously! You might be twice my age, but still!” He ducked out of the way and glared up at Steve who looked as if he were trying really hard not to start laughing out loud.   
“Just go on your run and be inspiring to the people or something…” 

Steve snorted. “You’re a dick, Tony. Don’t blow anything up while I’m gone” With that he left the room, still grinning and shaking his head. 

Tony didn’t know if he’d just won or lost. He settled on won. After all, Steve had left the room. And what was so bad about his plan? It was a bit rash maybe, but then again all his plans had been like that and they’d always worked out…mostly. Maybe he could wait for Rhodey’s answer, just in case. He didn’t want to cause an international incident or something, not while he couldn’t fly the suit, that would just put him at a disadvantage. But that meant he’d have to wait now. Wait, as in, sit around and do nothing. Urgh. He fucking hated waiting. 

“Sir? I have sent a car to pick up Dr. Banner and Mr. Odinson from the airport, they will land in approximately 37 minutes.” 

Oh fucking hell. He’d completely forgotten about those bastards. Awesome, just…best day ever. So now Tony had to sit around and wait for Steve, Rhodey, Thor and Banner. 

He groaned and made himself a fresh cup of coffee.


	7. Fucking stupid sleeping habits

“Friend Tony! Are you in pain? You look unwell!” Thor exclaimed upon entering the room. 

Tony had used the time to take a shower – he hadn’t been very successful and washing your hair with only one and was a pain in the ass – and get a change of clothes and was now browsing the stock market while consuming his fifth cup of coffee. He had counted. His broken arm was resting on the breakfast bar since he hadn’t been able to tie a sling himself. Not that he would ever admit it.   
He had a minor headache and he felt exhausted and tired, so getting told he looked ‘unwell’ didn’t really do much to brighten his mood. 

He just raised an eyebrow at Thor and Bruce who threw him an apologetic look. “I’m just peachy, Thor, and I look awesome.” 

Thor’s features softened into a smile and hurried over to Tony to embrace him in a long, tight hug. Right, yeah, Thor was that kinda guy. Tony simply let it happen, the guy was, as Bruce had correctly stated, a force of nature.   
“Okay, okay, big guy, I’m seriously fine, you can let go now.”   
Thor gave him another squeeze and let go. 

“No offense, Tony,” Bruce spoke up, a worn leather bag strapped over his shoulder, “but you really do look like shit. When was the last time you slept?” 

Tony felt like throwing his hands in the air, but that was kinda not an option right now. So he just jumped up and started pacing. “Why does everyone keep asking me that? Like, yeah great, I know you all wanna get in my pants and I understand, guys, really, but do try to be more subtle about it, this is taking all the fun out of it!” 

Thor drew his eyebrows together and threw him a look. “I don’t think Dr. Banner was insinuating anything like that and I am happy with my lady Jane.” 

Bruce just sighed, as per usual. 

“I was working, okay?” Tony replied and damn, but he did not sound defensive, definitely not, he had no reason to! “I got plenty of sleep yesterday, just ask Steve, he should be back from his run any minute now. Why don’t you, I dunno, get yourself a room, make yourselves at home, whatever you’re here for.” 

“Aye, we shall!” Thor nodded enthusiastically and grabbed Bruce by the shoulder. “And then you shall tell us the epic tale of how you slew the magnificent beast that injured you!” He looked so excited that Tony just nodded tiredly.   
“Sure, yeah, I’ll do that…it was a fucking giant toad, though, nothing magnificent about it.”

There was another concerned look from Bruce before the two Avengers left the room. 

Tony heaved a deep sigh. It hadn’t even been that long since he’d last slept. Only around…19 hours or something, that was nothing, that was weak, that wasn’t even college kid-level, Tony was seriously embarrassed right now, he had no reason to feel so damn tired, fuck it all. 

Also, Rhodey hadn’t replied at all, ungrateful bastard! Tony was so close to simply blowing up the terrorists himself, he still didn’t see the problem with his plan, Steve was just spoiling his fun because that was what Steve did. Because he always had to be a responsible adult and a role model. God, Tony was so, so, so glad that no one expected him to be a fucking role model, he’d fail miserably. Then again, that tiny detail could probably be blamed on the lack of conventionally good role models in his childhood. There was a lot to be said about Howard Stark, but no one had the audacity to call the self-absorbed man a good parent. A genius, driven by his work, a great mind that inspired changes beyond comprehension, the proof that the American dream was alive and well even in times of war – yes. But a responsible father? Not even the tabloids had considered that one. And shit, Tony was thinking of Howard again, the second time in two days now, this was starting to bother him. Was it something to be worried about? Should he be worried? Had the last mission maybe really messed with his head and opened some repressed memory folder he had in there? (Tony knew he didn’t really have folders in his brain, but the image calmed him). Anyway, whatever it was causing it, it seriously sucked and he wasn’t a fan. Howard Stark was dead and buried and he could stay that way, thank you very much. Tony already had to adapt to life with a broken dominant arm, there was no more room for daddy issues in his everyday life right now. Fuck, the fact that he’d even thought about the expression daddy issues was too much already. He did not have daddy issues. Or any issues. Everything was awesome.  
He should think about buying the rights of the LEGO movie soundtrack and make it his official soundtrack. Hell yeah. That would show them, Steve and Thor and Bruce and all those fuckers who kept worrying about him like he was fragile, which, okay, compared to them he kinda was, goddamn superhumans and/or gods, or a nutjob, which, although it sometimes seemed like it, he definitely wasn’t. So yeah. Everything is awesome, beautiful song. (He knew the blatantly obvious nature of criticism that the song really was all about, but still, it was a catchy tune!) 

Then his phone rang and wasn’t that the catchiest tune? Rhodey had finally found the time to talk to Tony!

“Took you long enough to answer, Rhodes!” Tony said, foregoing all kinds of greeting. He started pacing the huge room again, not even so much as sparing the breathtaking view over New York City a glance. 

The response was about as bitchy. “Coming from the man who had his computer talk to me that is rich, Stark!” 

“Tch, I was busy, JARVIS is better with words than I am. So. What’re you gonna do about the cozy group of terrorists camped just outside the border?” 

“Well, we’re not gonna just blow them up, that was a horrible plan, Tony.” Why did everybody say that? It was a great plan!   
“We are watching their camp for now but we might have to contact SHIELD.”

“What?” Tony yelled into the phone, “Why? What’s SHIELD got to do with any of this? It’s just a bunch of terrorists in Mexico, for fuck’s sake!” 

“For now, yeah. But you found them in the SHIELD database, so they are known. Also those weapons…man, it took you a long time to figure them out, judging by your standards. And I know that it looks like they’re just a local Latin American company slowly expanding, but why haven’t we heard of them before? Everything about this screams suspicious in our faces, Tony…” Rhodey sounded worried and stressed. The situation was serious. 

“Damn…okay. So you think…like, you suspect they might actually be HYDRA?” Fuck, this was making his head hurt, like seriously. They hadn’t heard from fucking HYDRA in months and Tony had found out that he’d lived quite comfortably like that. And now the shitheads resurfaced. Awesome. 

“We don’t know shit, Tony, which is why we watch them. Don’t tell any of your friends from SHIELD, this is serious. I’ll keep you informed, but for now just stand by, okay? How’s the arm, by the way?” He added as an afterthought. 

Tony rolled his eyes. “Broken and in a fucking cast. Tell me as soon as anything happens and if there’s anything else you want me to find out, let me know.” He really fucking hated terrorists, but HYDRA was a whole other dimension of nope. 

“Will do, Tony. Get some sleep.” With that, the call disconnected before Tony had the chance to scream. Every fucking one he interacted with talked about his sleeping habits. What the fuck? 

He spent the time until Thor and Bruce returned looking at the weapons again, searching for any hint that might link them to HYDRA. Unsurprisingly, he found nothing. 

When Thor and Bruce returned, they were accompanied by Natasha and Clint and were deeply immersed in some kind of heated conversation. “…no, you don’t understand, that’s not how it works! No, fuck, Nat, help me out here, please! Argh, this is just…!”   
Whatever Clint was trying to make Thor understand, the concept seemed to go completely over his head. Tony didn’t even want to know. 

“Do I need to sacrifice another scarf?” Natasha asked him as she strolled over to the breakfast bar, pointedly looking at his cast. 

“Long as you don’t take another picture of it and put it on twitter…next thing we know, the X-Men come over for a visit or something and I do not need this in my tower!” Tony knew he was being dramatic and she was being nice. Tony didn’t care. 

“I can’t stand the X-Men…” she murmured and took of her navy blue scarf. Tony managed a grateful smile. 

Maybe she shouldn’t have said it or maybe Tony shouldn’t have made the comment because Steve chose that particular moment to burst into the room, panting, still dressed in his shirt-and-sweatpants-of-justice look, wheezing out “Emergency, Professor Xavier needs our help!” He then turned toward Bruce and Thor and addressed them, “It would be greatly appreciated if you helped us out.” To Tony, whose right arm was placed in a navy blue piece of cloth that was tied around his torso and smelled of Natasha’s perfume he said “You. Stay. Don’t even think about it!” 

There was a commotion for a brief moment and then Tony was left standing alone in the huge ass room trying not to feel utterly abandoned and useless. Fuck. 

He hated Avenger-business, but having to stay behind sucked even more, damn it all. 

Tony felt like taking a selfie and tagging it #poortony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is starting to write itself...I'm not sure if I should he happy or concerned. 
> 
> Only psychology and medicine finals left and then I'm free! 
> 
> Thanks for reading


	8. Fucking stupid scotch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thank you guys so much for more than 100 kudos! <3 It's one of the best feelings in the world to know that actual people read my work and it makes me very happy. 
> 
>  
> 
> Warning for the following chapter: there's gonna be depressing thoughts and a semi-graphic description of a panic attack.

The week passed much like that.   
Tony had mastered the art of tying a sling one-handedly. He hadn’t so much mastered the art of escaping from Steve’s watchful eye. No workshop. And the impromptu workshop he’d set up in his bedroom had been disarranged by Steve as soon as he’d found out about it. There had been a shitload of shouting and screaming after that and a gauntlet of the new suit Tony had been working on had gone flying. Tony had stopped after that, shocked by his own outburst, and locked himself in his bedroom and the rest of the Avengers out of it. 

It had been fucking boring. 

Rhodey was still on standby, watching the terrorist from afar and there was nothing for Tony to do. 

He absolutely couldn’t stand the idea of talking to fucking nosy reporters, so he’d declined Thor’s invitation to explore the city. Exploring was always bound to become a hilarious catastrophe when the Big Guy was involved, but Tony wasn’t in the mood for fun. (Yes, he was well aware of the fact that thinking like that didn’t help at all, but he didn’t care! He wanted to wallow in self-pity and throw tantrums like the spoilt brat that he was!) In the end, Hawkeye had accompanied him and Tony was sure that he’d be able to see the results of that trip on TV in the evening. He later found out that Natasha had been there, too, for damage control.

Since he was in such a foul mood, Bruce had started to avoid him completely. Annoying, oversensitive bastard! Of course, Tony could just pull his head out of his own ass, get his shit together and Bruce would be there for him to talk science with. Which, given the circumstances that the boredom had actually caused him to develop a normal sleeping schedule, - yes, things were that bad – sounded like the best option he had.   
Naturally, he didn’t. He stayed miserable, his mood getting fouler with every passing minute. 

It didn’t help that the Avengers were suddenly called on a shitload of missions. It was like SHIELD and the whole superhero community (was there such a thing?) had waited for Tony to be benched to pull out the big guns.   
First it had been Xavier and his happy little group of mutants, then the Fantastic Four had needed assistance and there’d been an incident with Spiderman. Fucking awesome. And no one had been injured. Mission accomplished, just like that, every fucking time. Without the help of Iron Man. 

Tony sighed heavily and swallowed another mouthful of scotch. He was currently disappearing into the fluffy pillows on the couch in his private living room, bottle and glass on the table in front of him.   
The Avengers had been called out again and he was all by himself. And so he’d decided to cope the only way Tony Stark knew: by drinking until he was shitfaced and didn’t have the brain capacity to think anymore. Since there was no one around, there was also no one to stop him and seriously, he was fed up with the bullshit. He was a grown ass man and this was his tower and he could have a drink whenever the hell he wanted!   
The arising feelings of ‘this is the worst fucking idea I’ve had lately’ were promptly drowned in more scotch. Tony wanted to drown all of his feelings and thoughts. 

Because that was the problem with having so much free time at his hands and nothing to do: he started thinking about stupid shit. Shit he’d spent years burying deep, deep in his genius brain, pushing it down and back and as far away as possible. No one had access to that shit, he’d even denied himself any access. And for good reason. He did not need to open that can of worms, it’d be like opening the box of Pandora or rather like that puzzle box from Hellraiser. Anyway, horrible consequences.   
Because, god, he had issues. He had so many issues and he didn’t just have them since Afghanistan. But if he started thinking about all his issues now, he wouldn’t be able to pull himself out of it anytime soon and neither he nor the rest of the team needed that kinda shit. 

It was just that being completely fucking useless…hurt. A tiny bit. Like, it wasn’t that bad, really, except it totally was and Tony couldn’t stand everyone’s happy, satisfied faces after a mission which he hadn’t been part of. Cause apparently they didn’t need him there to begin with, they were doing fucking fine without him. Not only was he completely useless, he was also unnecessary. The Avengers didn’t need him. 

And boy, didn’t that bring home some nice memories? Because really, when had been the last time anyone had really needed him? Pepper sure as hell hadn’t, she’d been miserable during the relationship, spending every waking hour worrying about Tony and SI and working, working, working, always working to distract herself. Nope. The only thing she had needed was the end of that toxic relationship, so they’d ended it. That had hurt like hell, but it was for the better.   
SI didn’t need him either, Pepper was a better CEO than he’d ever been. Sure, he still invented pretty much all of the tech, but no one really needed a toaster that remembered your preferences when it came to toasting different kinds of bread.   
And in the end it all came down to his father, of course. Howard Stark, the underlying issue that was at least partly responsible for all the other issues. 

Nope. No thinking about him and Tony’s fucked up childhood..  
He poured himself another glass although he knew that he was already more than smashed. Mixing painkillers and booze was always fun.   
He emptied half of it in one gulp, sighed heavily once more and leaned back. 

It took only a broken arm to reduce him to a fucking mess, for fuck’s sake! That was beyond pathetic!   
Tony groaned. 

“Sir, the Avengers have just returned to the tower. They are well, there have been no serious injuries.” JARVIS informed him just then and it felt like a punch in the gut. They were fucking fine, of course, prolly about to throw a goddamn party down there! 

“Captain Rogers is approaching, he wishes to talk to you, sir. You might want to remove the obvious evidence of your drinking, just some friendly advice.” 

Tony barked out a laugh. “D’you think that makes a difference in my state? Be honest, J”

There was a polite pause. Then: “Probably not, sir. Do try not to slur your words too much.” 

“Love you, too, JARVIS!” Tony half-shouted at the ceiling. He didn’t receive an answer. The AI was above such pettiness. Hah. Even his AI was more mature than him!

“Tony? Are you up here?” Steve’s voice carried through the large room and Tony became painfully aware of the fact that he was sitting in complete darkness. Now that wasn’t suspicious at all!   
“Yeah, on the couch, Cap!” he yelled back, putting as much false cheerfulness in his voice as possible. 

“It’s so dark here. JARVIS, some light, please?” 

“Right away, Captain.” 

Immediately, the room was illuminated by a soft glow and Tony wanted to disappear into the pillows even more. 

“What are you…really, Tony?” Steve stalked over to the table and grabbed the bottle of scotch. “You’ve been drinking?”

“Keen sense of observation, Cap! Let me toast to our fearless leader!” He raised his glass in a mocking gesture and knocked back the rest of the scotch. 

“What is wrong with you?” 

And wow, wasn’t that just the million dollar question? (Not that Tony needed a million dollars, being a billionaire and all, but still, figure of speech and all that.) What the fuck was wrong with him? Or rather, what wasn’t? 

He got up, supporting himself on the couch. Shit, he was seriously drunk, the room was swaying dangerously. This wasn’t good. “I’m going to bed” he murmured and stumbled a few steps in the direction of the door. Then the world tilted and he blacked out. Fuck. 

 

A second later he came to again, gripped tightly by Steve.   
“Fuck” he muttered and blinked a couple times. Steve had him in a death-grip.   
“Tony, what’s wrong?” The question was spoken softly without looking him in the eye and all of Tony’s anger and frustration and jealousy – urgh, how petty – vanished and he only felt drained. He also felt vaguely as if he was gonna puke on Steve’s shoes any second now. Fuck.   
“’m gonna be sick” he ground out, before stumbling to the nearest bathroom. And just in time, too. He only just managed to drop to his knees and throw up violently into the toilet. Fuck.

“Shit, Tony” he heard Steve mumble behind him as he pulled his body up on the sink. He rinsed his mouth and washed his clammy face with cold water. Fuck. Now he officially felt like crawling into a hole and dying. Talk about fucking humiliating. 

“’m sorry you had to see that” he croaked, face hidden in a towel. “gonna go to bed now, for real” He pointedly didn’t look at Steve as he stumbled out of the bathroom, holding on to the wall for support. Fucking hell, this was all so wrong on so many levels! This was Steve fucking Rogers he was completely losing himself in front of! Captain America, the same fucking guy his father had spent his whole life worshipping! God, if Howard could see him now, he’d be so fucking proud!  
“Sorry, Steve”, he muttered again. 

Unfortunately for Tony, Steve would have none of that bullshit and Tony was once again grabbed by the shoulders. “Stop! You’re not running away now. We are going to talk about this, Tony. What happened tonight?” Steve’s voice was calm as he guided Tony over to the couch.   
Ridiculously attractive people pressing him into couches was totally becoming a thing. 

“What’d look like, genius?” Tony shot back, but it lacked any real conviction. He just sounded tired and as if he’d just puked out his guts. Hah. 

“It looked like you got drunk by yourself, Tony. Which in itself is already damaging and worrying, but you’re still on medication. However, you know all this.” 

Tony’s eyebrows shot up. No ‘you-should-know-better-speech’? 

“And you still decided to get drunk. Why?” Still in that calm voice. It reminded Tony of the frightening amount of therapists he’d been to. They’d all talked like that, stupid fuckers. 

He shrugged helplessly. “Cause it’s what I do, Cap.” No, fuck, that sounded too honest. “Not like there was much else to do, the dream team was out and I wasn’t invited to the party.” He managed a thin-lipped smile. 

“Don’t bullshit me, Stark.” Oh, swearing. And emotion. Steve was getting worked up. 

And Tony was still fucking drunk and nauseous. He took a couple deep breaths that didn’t change a goddamn thing. His head pounded and he was so not looking forward to the inevitable hangover. 

“I got nothing to do, Steve” he whispered, “and I, uh, you’ve prolly noticed, but, uh, I’m not the most forward when it comes to…dealing with my own shit” Damn, he really was exhausted. “…and you really don’t wanna hear this, trust me.”

Next to him, Steve groaned in frustration. “I do, Tony! I want to help!”

Tony turned to Steve, his eyebrows drawn together slightly, eyes round in his face. “Why?” 

Steve blinked, clearly surprised by the question. “Why? Tony, because I care about you! You’re important to me, so I want you to be okay! And right now you obviously aren’t! So please just talk to me and maybe I can help” 

“Fuck, Steve, you can’t just say stuff like that” Tony muttered, a slight tremble in his voice. Because, really, what was Steve thinking? How could he simply say shit like that to Tony Stark? That’s not how it went, people didn’t say that kinda stuff to Tony! And now he didn’t know how to react. Fuck. His brain had just short-circuited. 

“Why not?” Steve asked. He was starting to look angry, but strangely the anger didn’t seem to be directed at Tony. Tony didn’t know what to make of that. He didn’t know what to make of the whole fucked-up situation. All he knew was that he was so close to spilling his guts and that scared him shitless. He couldn’t just suddenly start talking about all the shit that occupied his thoughts every waking second. Steve would never treat him the same. Hell, most likely he’d be put off the team for good. After all, it wasn’t as if they needed him anyway. It was probably only a matter of time till it happened anyway. With all his emotional baggage revealed they’d start seeing him as a liability and they wouldn’t even be wrong. The number of times he’d flown the suit completely wasted was enough to never trust him with a weapon again…shit, what if Fury tried to take the suits from him? He couldn’t let that happen, the suits belonged to him, even without the arc reactor he was Iron Man and they couldn’t just take that from him!

“Tony! Shit, breathe! Tony, look at me!” 

But he couldn’t and it felt as if his chest was constricting and he felt so cold and why couldn’t he breathe, fuckfuckfuck, and he was gasping for breath and he wasn’t being pushed under water, he wasn’t back in the cave, so why couldn’t he breathe and why was his whole body trembling like a fucking leaf, shitshitshit, no! 

“It’s alright Tony, you’re in your living room, no one’s going to hurt you, everything is alright.” 

Nonono, nothing was alright, his chest was being crushed, was it Obadiah, was he taking the arc reactor again? No, no, that was wrong, he didn’t have the arc reactor anymore. And Obadiah was dead, yes, dead, he’d made sure of that. What was happening? Tears were running down his cheeks and Steve’s soothing voice was everywhere and someone was holding him and rubbing his back and Tony could hear his own frantic heartbeat as well as another, steady one. 

“Shh, it’s alright, Tony, you’re safe.”

Eventually, his breathing evened out again and his heart calmed down. Tony drew in a shuddering breath and opened his eyes.   
He was pressed against Steve, face buried in his shirt, while the other man held him, still making soothing noises. And he was sobbing his heart out. Fuck. He sniffed. 

“Better?” Steve asked him quietly. 

Tony was still leaning against him. “Yeah. Thanks. Sorry.” 

“No problem. Bed?” 

“Mhm.” 

Steve guided Tony to his bedroom without another word and Tony couldn’t bring himself to care. He wanted to sleep for a week.   
He sat down on the bed and rubbed at his eyes. They were all puffy from crying. Hell, he had to look like a teenage girl who’d just been dumped by her first boyfriend. 

He heard the door sliding open and looked up to see that Steve was about to leave. The front of his shirt was soaked through. Fuck. Tony grimaced. Then he bit on his lower lip and looked Steve in the eye. “Stay?” He didn’t think he could manage a sheepish expression, so he just settled for no expression at all. He knew he had to look way too unguarded and vulnerable, but fuck it. He’d just bawled his eyes out while clinging on to Steve for dear life. Any kind of damage control would come too late. 

Steve simply closed the door again and nodded. “Sure.” 

“Fresh shirt’s in the second drawer…” Tony muttered and Steve chuckled lightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry! I wanted to write a light and funny story, I really did! Seems to be impossible for a Stony-fic, though...


	9. Fucking stupid issues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The happy tale continues.
> 
> Thanks for your support!

Once again, Tony awoke to the sensation of having Steve next to him in bed. The Captain was still asleep, snoring softly. The bed was all warm and comfy and the presence of Steve next to him and the hand that rested on Tony’s arm made it even warmer.  
It felt…nice. Huh.

“Sir?” JARVIS whispered so as to not wake Steve.

Tony just shook his head slowly. “Unless it’s an emergency, I don’t wanna hear it.”

There was a hesitant pause, then: “Understood, sir” and JARVIS stayed silent.

Tony sighed and closed his eyes again. Getting some more sleep sounded like a wonderful idea. He shuffled a little bit closer to Steve, purely for warmth, of course, and started drifting off.

Until there was a knock and the door was opened.  
Tony and Steve both shot up, Steve looking momentarily disoriented, Tony looking – and feeling – just done with it all.  
And Bruce, looking utterly shocked – shocked into silence, apparently - door handle grabbed tight.

“I, uh, I’m sorry, guys – I mean good morning, um, I just, Clint made breakfast and…but I can see that I’m interrupting something so, um, I’m just gonna, yeah, I’m just gonna leave, don’t mind me, sorry”

“Bruce!” Tony cut off his ramblings and propped himself up. “Calm down. It’s…ah, shit, it’s not what it looks like, but the real explanation is so much more fucked up than anything you could come up with, so I’ll be leaving this one to your imagination. Thanks for, y’know, telling me about breakfast.”

Bruce just nodded, turned around and left without another word.

Well. That was awkward. And hilarious. Poor Bruce was most likely scarred for life.

“Tony” Ah, shit. That was him. Couldn’t he just not be Tony for a day? No? Damn.  
He let himself plop down on the mattress again and exhaled slowly, audibly.

“We need to talk about what happened yesterday.”

And yeah, nope, big fat nope, mother of nopes, there was absolutely nothing they needed to talk less about than yesterday, nope, not happening, not now, not ever, sorry not sorry, Steve.  
Tony could feel his heartbeat picking up speed until it was beating away a mile in a minute and he felt as if he’d either pass out or have a heart attack and fuck, there were tears in his eyes again, this was becoming old, he didn’t need this, fuck!

“Oh Tony…” Steve muttered and hugged him from behind, holding him close.

His whole body was trembling nonetheless and he couldn’t fucking control it and shit, but this was driving him nuts and he seriously couldn’t just hyperventilate in his own bed, that was just undignified and shit. But he also couldn’t catch a breath and that was worse, fuck it all!

“Everything’s fine, Tony.” Steve assured him quietly from behind and he felt himself become calmer. “This is what you call a panic attack nowadays, right?” The Captain sounded a little unsure of himself, so Tony jerked his head twice. Panic attack. How he abhorred the expression. Just like all the other fucking diagnoses he’d collected over the years. PTSD, depression, trust issues – go figure! -, narcissism – though that one had been Natasha, back when he’d been dying and she’d been spying on him for Fury, ah, good times – alcoholism…the list was crushingly long and didn’t mean a damn thing. Sure, he was quite a bit fucked-up, but he didn’t need fucking names for all his idiosyncrasies. They were what made him charming! (Okay, maybe not the part where he was a sobbing mess in Steve’s arms repeatedly, but that was up for discussion. Or rather, well, not, because he wouldn’t be discussing it, but still, figure of speech and all that.)  
His breathing evened out. He had the blanket in a death grip, but it helped.

“So, um, anything I can do to help you? To make it stop or to make it easier for you? Are you taking medication?”

A shake of the head.

Steve released his hold on Tony, leaving him with a strange sense of loss.

“…can we just drop it?” Tony asked quietly. His voice sounded firm and didn’t break, thanks for small mercies.

Steve sighed and Tony knew that he was wearing his unhappy, unsatisfied expression, and it made him feel like a big, bad bully.  
“Why did you get so drunk yesterday?” Steve asked after a pause and Tony shrugged, or well, more like jerked his whole body, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. How had everything turned to shit that fast?

“I was bored and I wanted a drink, I’m not even lying. You were all out, I was stuck here, and for once no one was watching my ass as if I’m some kinda criminal, so I thought, why the hell not? and yeah, that was pretty much it. I, uh, somehow failed to consider the effect the pain meds would have, but, not gonna lie to you, Cap, I would’ve also drunk myself stupid if I’d remembered” he shrugged again. “I choose to not really learn shit like that, but so far I’ve survived, so I guess it’s whatever. You’re not gonna tell Pepper about this, are you? You’re not gonna call her, right?” He turned around, a hint of panic in his voice, eyebrows raised almost comically. He didn’t need Pepper in full-on worry mode, she’d drop everything she was doing and rush to Tony’s side and the poor woman didn’t deserve to be the one to always take care of his shit. He could handle himself. These days he even remembered his social security number.

Steve drew his eyebrows together. “I wouldn’t call her behind your back, that’s not right.”

“Ah, thank god for your righteousness!” Tony grinned. “So, breakfast? I wonder what Bruce told the team” He laughed and sat up. From the corner of his eye, he saw Steve shake his head. He wasn’t laughing. In fact, he didn’t look amused at all.

“C’mon, Cap, it’s me! You can’t kill me, I always bounce back. Don’t plague your pretty little head with worries!” With that, Tony got up and changed into sweatpants and a shirt. He’d gotten good at the whole changing with only one arm-thing, but one thing was still certain: he wouldn’t be wearing the fucking cast for much longer. The next time the Avengers were out, it would be off with the infuriating piece of plaster!

Steve was still sitting in the bed, under the covers, hair tousled from sleep. His sleepy eyes were fixed on his hands. He appeared to be thinking intently. Tony didn’t like it; nothing good could come from it, fuck it all.

“You can’t just distract from the topic every time, it’s not healthy to avoid it like that. Obviously there’s something seriously bothering you, Tony, and you need to address it!”

The smiled died on Tony’s face and a wave of anger welled up in him. Who the fuck did Steve think he was? What right did he have to talk bullshit like that? He didn’t know the first thing about Tony!  
“I don’t need to do anything” he replied coldly, “I’m perfectly okay with distracting and avoiding, thank you very much. I’ve also just realized that I’m not hungry. I’m going to the workshop.”

And so he left without so much as another glance at Steve.

It wasn’t fair and it wasn’t right and it was petty of him, Tony knew that much as he kept firing his left repulsor rapidly. Steve wasn’t doing this to meddle; he genuinely wanted to help because he was a genuinely good guy. But he needed to accept that Tony wouldn’t just spill all his issues like that! More than 30 years of repressed feelings weren’t just released like that, for fuck’s sake!

The adjustments were shit, the gauntlets were way too heavy, even firing like that was exhausting. Tony sighed and shrugged out of it, then set it on a nearby workbench and started working. Kinda.

“Dummy, the screwdriver!” He shouted over the blaring music. The bot whirred over to him happily, knocking over everything on his path and Tony groaned. “The one for the suit, the Iron Man screwdriver for disassembling it! C’mon, Dummy, do your job for once and be a good assistant, I don’t wanna have to donate you to a community college, I still got plans for you!”  
There was an unhappy noise and Dummy set off again, in search for the screwdriver.

“You looking for this one? Here you go.” The screwdriver in question was handed to Tony, who looked up in confusion.

Bruce stood next to him, screwdriver in his outstretched hand.

“JARVIS, be a dear and turn down the music, Bruce, just put it somewhere on the workbench, I don’t like being handed things.”

The other man laughed and did as he was told. “Right…”

Tony wiped his face with a dirty, oil-soaked rag and turned to face Bruce. JARVIS had turned down the volume so actual conversation was possible.

“What can I do for you, Brucey-boy?” He had his trademark grin in place, although it didn’t quite reach his eyes. But then again, when had it ever?

“Just wanted to check up on you, to see that you’re okay and that you haven’t, um, fled, because of what happened earlier. The Captain came to breakfast but you never showed up.”

Tony tensed immediately at the mention of Steve. His voice sounded a lot icier when he said, “No worries, Bruce, it had nothing to do with you. Our outstanding citizen on the other hand needs a fucking change of attitude. Or a puppy or some shit so he can take care of that helper’s complex. We should set him up to volunteer in a nursing home, Captain America the Beautiful could help people all day and he’d be in his own age group for once!”

“Oookay…” Bruce pushed his glasses up and threw Tony a look that was akin to pity. “I’m not sure if I even want to know. Steve seemed sad, though, just saying.”

It was disconcerting even to himself how angry he’d gotten at just the mention of Steve. Fuck. Maybe Tony should take some chill yoga courses with Bruce. Being angry and aggressive was not him and he didn’t want to become like that. The world didn’t need another arrogant genius billionaire with way too much power at his hands who turned into a violent bastard for no reason but a bruised ego.  
He sighed heavily and dropped the rag before dropping on a stool himself.

“Sorry, Doc” he muttered, not meeting Bruce’s eyes. He could still make out the look of confusion on his face. “I was a fucking pain and a bastard to you. To all of you, to be honest, but the others deserve it, fucking traitors. Except for maybe Thor, he doesn’t deserve anything the universe keeps throwing at him, poor guy. But he came here because of a twitter pic, so he’s kinda a dick, too.”

“Wow, Stark, an apology…didn’t think you had it in you!” Bruce winked at Tony who just smiled tiredly in return and shrugged. “Well, y’know, I actually had a lot of practice with Pepper.”  
Bruce laughed. He looked more relaxed now and Tony felt marginally better about himself.

“So what are you working on? Need some help? And why is that arm of yours not in a sling? It’s not like you should be working in the first place, but that is a losing battle I’m not willing to fight.”  
Tony groaned and Bruce laughed some more as he used the dirty rag to tie a sling.

Then Tony explained his newest project and the problems (“It’s heavy as fuck, only the Hulk could use it without getting exhausted!” “Oh, I’m not sure, maybe Thor could, too.”) and they started working, Bruce placing various instruments in front of Tony, which made him crack a smile.  
He didn’t like people in his workshop and he hated people messing with his things, but it was okay with Bruce, somehow. Having company also saved Tony from having to think about his situation with Steve. All in all, he was glad that Bruce had come to the workshop.  
He banished the image of a sad Steve from his mind and threw himself in work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got no internet till Tuesday, this was uploaded using my phone. Living like that sucks. Especially now that I've finally got some days off. 
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	10. Fucking stupid roof

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The internet is back and I've finished all college-related stuff - I'm free! 
> 
> To celebrate this happy occasion, I present you a horribly angsty chapter. I don't know what happened. I'm sorry.   
> There's some talk about suicide, nothing serious, though. 
> 
> Enjoy...?

Unfortunately Bruce - although technically not really, with the whole Hulk-business and whatnot - was still only human and had basic human needs he actually liked to take care of.   
Tony was appalled. No wonder the guy’s experiment had turned out this abysmally fucked-up if he wasn’t even willing to sacrifice food and sleep for the greater good! (Tony determinedly ignored the voice at the back of his head that insisted that doing science while well rested and not running solely on caffeine was actually safer than the lifestyle he practiced. His lifestyle hadn’t turned him into a giant green rage-monster after all!) 

And so, Tony was once again left alone in the workshop with his bots and his thoughts. His bots were awesome, his thoughts, on the other hand…not so much.   
He hadn’t been fair to Steve. The way he’d treated him…damn, it was about as bad as back on the helicarrier when they’d basically just insulted each other and Steve had been right. Of course he had, he was Captain America, for fuck’s sake! And he’d been so nice and understanding about it! And Tony had just thrown it in his face like the spoiled billionaire-brat that he was. Fuck. 

Reluctantly, Tony pried his eyes away from the life footage of the Hydra-terrorists. There was nothing new to find out and the army still hadn’t devised a plan of action, so just like with his stupid fucking arm, the only thing to do was to wait.   
Fucking waiting was driving him nuts. 

“Hey, JARVIS?” he muttered, embarrassingly aware of how small his voice sounded even to his own ears. 

“Yes, sir? What can I do for you?” the AI replied as usual. 

“D’you know where Steve is? Like, is he still awake? …is it nighttime? Bruce went to bed some time ago, right?” In between watching terrorists do nothing for hours and staring at the workshop’s wall blankly for hours, time could get kinda blurry. 

“It is indeed, sir, the time is 00:41am. Dr. Banner went to bed two and a half hours ago. Captain Rogers is still awake, he currently seems to be up on the roof by himself.” 

Tony felt his heart stutter and miss a beat, painfully. The arc reactor wheezed and Tony’s chest went cold. Fuck. 

He sucked in a breath and sprinted to the elevator, shouting “Top floor!”   
There was a hint of panic creeping up on him and he couldn’t think straight. Fuckfuckfuck. He didn’t like this, he didn’t like the implication, Steve, alone on the roof at night after he’d behaved like a rotten bastard, nope, they didn’t need this.   
His thoughts trailed a step further and Tony felt his palms go slick with sweat. 

He was panting heavily when he stumbled through the huge glass door outside onto the roof, fear making his chest constrict. 

“Steve!” he yelled. His voice was raw with emotion and his eyes were all over the place, searching for a hint of Steve. 

“Yeah?” there was a startled answer that sounded almost like a question. “Everything all right, Tony?”   
And there was Steve, taking shelter from the wind, huddled in a corner to Tony’s left. His face was a bit flushed from the cold, but apart from that he seemed to be completely fine. 

Tony could feel waves of relief wash over him and had to use his left arm to steady himself. Then he closed his eyes and banished all images of Steve falling, falling, falling all the way down, to the darkest corner of his mind and took a shuddering breath.   
He felt shaky and faintly as if he was about to start crying. 

“Did something happen?” Steve asked again, obviously oblivious but with a hint of urgency in his voice and Tony managed a dry laugh. It was a pitiful, pathetic sound. 

His legs were still wobbly when he approached Steve and slouched down next to him. The Cap was sketching, that was all, New York City in the night, nothing to worry about. 

“I…fuck…sorry, Steve” He fiddled with the strings of his hoodie. “I just, JARVIS said you’re on the roof and it’s night and I just, but you’re just sketching and you’re good, you’re peachy, so just forget it, just…sorry for the dramatic entrance, have a nice night or something, I’m just gonna leave now, in fact, I should probably have stopped talking about five sentences ago, don’t mind me, just rambling-” 

“Tony.” Steve said quietly, seriously, and shut Tony up more effectively than Fury ever had. 

This was another conversation Tony didn’t wanna have, not now, not ever, and he caught himself evading Steve’s gaze. Fuck. He felt cold all over again. 

Steve had to see his obvious discomfort – especially since Steve seemed to be able to see through pretty much all his bullshit - but he didn’t back down. “What did you think I was doing up here?”   
And he sounded so concerned that Tony’s heart ached and he placed his left hand on the reactor in a feeble gesture of calming it. He shrugged in what he hoped was a nonchalant way. It really just looked defensive.   
“Ah, you know, the usual, when you think guy all by himself out on the roof in the middle of the night…it just, it was the first thing that popped into my head and then my brain kinda short circuited.”

Steve put down his sketchpad with a troubled expression. “But Tony, you know that I would never-“

“No, no, no! Fuck, Steve, no, I know, I know, fuck, I just, I dunno what got into me, course you wouldn’t!” Tony cut in hastily. The whole situation had foregone ridiculously embarrassing and instead gone straight to full-blown panic inducing, horrid feelings-talk. Urgh.   
“Shit, I, this must seem so erratic to you, like, even more so than usual, fuck, I’ll be down in the workshop, I’ll install some sensors up here that sound an alarm when someone gets close to the edge, should have done that years ago, really, it’s not safe like this, but with the sensors, even if someone falls I can get the suit in time and, yeah, yeah, I’m just gonna do that. Later, Steve”   
He used his left arm to push himself up while trying to ignore the fact that his legs were still trembling. 

Then a hand was placed on his shoulder hesitantly and Tony stopped dead in his tracks. Steve’s stupid patriotic blue eyes regarded him with such an intensity that he couldn’t look away. No one had ever looked at him like that, not even Pepper or Rhodey.   
Tony swallowed; his mouth was suddenly very dry.

Steve blinked once, but his stare didn’t falter. 

“Cap, no offense”, Tony started, his voice rough, “but you’re looking at me as if you’re about to propose or confess your undying love to me. And while I can’t say I don’t appreciate the sentiment, I’m not sure if I’m quite ready yet. I mean, I understand your feelings, obviously no man or woman is immune to my charms, but it’s still so soon after Pepper and I don’t know how that would make her feel, you get me?” He plastered grin on his face that felt fake even to himself and fiddled with his hoodie a bit while staring at a point somewhere to the left of Steve’s face. He could do shit-talking and stupid babbling and he was awesome at diversions! Even if his heart, that was still beating too hard and too fast, wasn’t in it, didn’t matter, he was good, Steve was good, everything was golden. 

“Did you ever try?” It was a mere whisper and Tony’s grin froze in place. He stopped the fiddling and hunched his shoulders, curling in on himself subconsciously. The light of the arc reactor shed a sickish glow on his face. 

For the first time since he’d stepped on the roof – fuck, he regretted that decision - he faced Steve directly, their eyes meeting.   
A bitter grin found its way on Tony’s face, replacing the fake grimace, and he raised his eyebrows in mockery. “I’m Tony Stark, Steve!” If his arm hadn’t been in a sling, he’d have made a grand gesture. Now he simply chuckled dryly. “I flew a fucking nuke into space through a magic portal. I didn’t really expect to return.” 

Steve face darkened. “Yes, that was utterly stupid. Brave, but completely stupid. Don’t ever do something like that again.”

Tony sighed. “We’ve been over this, Cap, in fact we’ve been over this at least 27 times. I’ve learned my lesson and I’m gonna take better care of myself and all that shit, yadda yadda yadda.” He rolled his eyes. 

“Yeah, but…but that’s not the same” Steve said quietly after some time had passed. He sounded as if he knew what he was talking about, as if he understood Tony perfectly. But that couldn’t be. Could it?   
“That’s not…it wasn’t deliberate. It’s the idea that you’re sacrificing yourself for the greater good, believe me, I know all about that. And of course it means you don’t value your life all that much, at least not as much as the cause you’re willing to do for. But it’s not the same as attempting to commit suicide because you don’t want to live anymore.” 

Tony blinked at Steve, momentarily stunned. Then he screwed his face up into a lopsided grin. “You can’t just walk around asking people stuff like that, Steve. I mean, even I know that, and I’m me and I usually just say fuck it and do the thing anyway, but talking about suicide is not an acceptable topic for casual conversation.” 

It had become seriously chilly on the roof and Tony felt like going back to the workshop now. Urgently. There was…work to do. 

“Yeah, is that so?” Steve asked and his voice had taken on an angry undertone. “Well, fuck it! No, Tony, I mean it!” 

A swearing Cap was serious. Steve looked really worked up, Tony noticed, and put a hand on his tense shoulder. 

“I mean, what do you expect me to think? You’ve had two…panic attacks in the last two days and won’t talk to me. I can accept that, it’s not alright, but I get it, we haven’t known each other for all that long and I was friends with your father and I’m the team leader and you probably don’t even like me that much as a person. Which is fine, don’t worry. But as far as I can tell, you’re not talking to anyone! Instead, you’re getting blackout drunk by yourself and then hide away in the workshop. And then you run up here because the first thing you think of when you hear that I’m on the roof is that I might jump off it? I don’t care if it’s not a topic for casual conversation; this is not a casual conversation! I am seriously worried about you, Tony!” 

Tony’s hand trailed down Steve’s arm. “Yeah, um, if you put it like that it sounds really, um, worrying…” he muttered and the Cap grunted. And he was right, if Steve or Pepper or Rhodey had behaved like that, he’d be out of his mind with worry. It wasn’t cool.   
“I do like you as a person, Steve. And you’re kinda the perfect choice for team leader, but you know that.” He glanced up at Steve, who looked a bit embarrassed. Cute. “And I know I’m being a pain in the ass, it’s just that fucking arm, y’know? I can’t do shit. I’m pretty much fucking useless like this, I can’t even build stuff. Hell, I can’t even fucking sign stupid StarkIndustries shit cause I can’t hold the damn pen!” 

Steve actually chuckled at that and Tony cracked a smile. He’d just continue talking, he was on a roll, he could do this! 

“And when I’m not building or fighting or doing all that crap, I just, I start thinking. And it’s like, not the good, the useful, productive kinda thinking, but rather it’s uh, dwelling on stuff from the past. Shitty stuff, usually. And that’s, um, that’s no fun, to be honest and I get into a weird mood and then I’m an overall shitty person to be around, like, more so than usual, and yeah, that’s why I don’t like not working.” He shrugged once, a jerky motion. 

“You’re not a…’shitty’ person to be around!” Steve sounded outraged even as he said it and Tony felt some of the weight on his chest lifting. Then Steve continued, more pensive “Do you wanna talk about it? Just one thing at a time? My SHIELD-therapist said you’re supposed to do that. You don’t have a SHIELD-therapist, do you?” 

Tony laughed out loud. “Nah, never like therapists or SHIELD. D’you have to have a therapist? Fury make you go to appointments?” he asked, only partly to divert from himself. He could have guessed that they’d make Steve see someone, they needed a mentally stable Avengers leader after all. 

To his surprise, Steve shook his head, though. “No one made me talk to her, I thought it would be beneficial, so I suggested it to the Director. He had no objections and I started to see her, first twice a week, then only once a week after I’d grown more accustomed to the whole 21st-century situation. Now I only see her when I feel the need to.” 

Tony swallowed audibly and Steve smiled at him. “She really helps me, but I can see that therapy isn’t for everyone.”

For fuck’s sake, why did Steve have to be so nice and understanding? And why the fuck was a perfect human being like Steve Rogers sitting on a fucking roof with Tony Stark talking about therapy like it was normal? Tony knew that having a therapist was normal, Pepper had a therapist and she was the most mentally stable person he knew. It was perfectly fine to see a therapist, it just wasn’t if you were Tony Stark, who he just happened to be. 

The heavy feeling in his chest returned full force and Tony wrapped his left arm around his knees. His eyes were burning and he considered resting his forehead on his knees to hide his face from the world and from Steve. Fuck. He needed a hug. Or something. Some form of affection. Whatever it was normal people did in these kinda situations. 

He scooted closer to Steve and leaned against his warm body. What a nightmare. 

Steve made a surprised little noise before wrapping his arms around Tony and pulling him closer. It felt warm and safe and…nice. His body relaxed slightly and he exhaled slowly. Then he buried his face in Steve’s shirt and breathed in the smell that was slowly becoming familiar. 

He didn’t want the moment to end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mhm, finally venturing into Stony-territory for real!


	11. Fucking stupid reasons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your continued support! 
> 
> I'm on vacation, but I wanted to post at least one chapter, so enjoy!

The moment ended abruptly when Clint stepped on the roof.

“Ooookay, guys…” Clint said slowly and Tony and Steve flinched. Steve was on his feet in a second, shoulders squared and ready to report for duty.   
Tony scrambled to his feet awkwardly, which took him only slightly longer than Steve. 

When he turned around to look at Clint, the man had stopped dead in his tracks right outside the door, his hands raised in a gesture that was most likely meant to be pacifying. “Whatever you were thinking of doing, don’t! It’s cool, really, we don’t mind you two going out, it’s nothing to kill yourselves over! I mean, I get how it’s all romantic and shit, and fucking melodramatic - that’s so like you, Stark, by the way – but please reconsider. Fuck, I’m not good with shit like this…can you wait a second and I’ll get Natasha and she’ll tell you why jumping off this roof is a bad idea?” 

For the second time that night, Steve’s expression turned troubled as he looked from Clint to Tony in exasperation. Tony’s flushed face morphed into a slightly manic grin as he gestured at Clint. “See? See! I told you that what it looks like, all alone on the roof in the middle of the night! Hah! Who was right? I was right! I mean, of course I was, I’m a genius, so by default I’m always right…” 

Steve groaned. “Look, Clint, no one wants to jump off the roof. We weren’t about to kill ourselves. We were just…” He raised an eyebrow and looked at Tony, who had stopped his ramblings and looked about as embarrassed as Tony Stark could get, which was to say not very much. “…talking” Steve then finished lamely with a sigh and Clint nodded, his eyes widened comically. 

“Yeah, right, no, that totally looked like talking, Cap, yeah, no doubt. You know what? I’m gonna go downstairs and do some talking with Nat. You just continue your completely platonic bonding moment, guys! And don’t jump off the roof!” With that, he promptly turned around again and vanished inside all the while having an ugly grin on his face. 

Tony exhaled loudly. “Well, that wasn’t awkward at all!” he exclaimed and Steve groaned again. 

“Why does half my team think I want to jump off the roof?” he asked miserably and Tony chuckled lightly. 

He suddenly noticed how cold it was on the roof and couldn’t suppress a shiver. The New York skyline was still lit up behind them, but Tony had had enough of the roof for the night. 

“Hey, you wanna come inside? Get a drink or something? Cause I fear that if we stay out here, Thor might just land here next and then Bruce will suddenly decide that he feels like getting some fresh air and…you know what I’m getting at.” He was smiling his patent Tony Stark smile, but it was all he could muster up for the moment. This had been a thoroughly fucked-up night so far.   
Steve didn’t seem to mind, though, or he was just done with the whole situation, too. Either way, he simply nodded. “Sounds good, it’s getting pretty chilly out here anyway.” 

Inside, it was pleasantly warm and the lights were dimmed to a cozy brightness. 

“JARVIS, remind me to install a security system on the roof later” Tony murmured and made for the elevator. 

“Certainly, sir. I will remind you after you have slept for a few hours.” 

Fucking sassy AI thinking he was clever! 

Tony pushed the elevator button and looked behind him to see if Steve had followed. He was standing right beside him. “D’you wanna” Tony cleared his throat, “d’you wanna come to my floor? There won’t be as many party people walking around. At least in theory, it’s not like I can really stop Barton from going off into the vents or Romanoff from just being…sneaky everywhere. But. Y’know. In theory it should be quiet. Ish. I mean, uh, you like quiet, right? You’re a quiet kinda guy, I mean, oh god, not like that, just, fuck, you don’t really listen to any bands or anything, I dunno if you’re quiet in bed, all the walls are soundproof, there are things I don’t need to hear, like the sound of Barton and Romanoff ‘talking’, that is a scary thought, Jesus Christ, I think after that I’d need therapy-” 

“Tony. It’s fine. I’d like to go to your floor. Even if Clint and Natasha happen to be…sneaking around. Which I don’t think they will be doing, seeing as they are, uh, otherwise occupied.” 

The elevator doors opened and Tony stepped inside, snorting quietly. “That’s a nice way of putting it…” 

Steve grinned wryly and pushed the button for the penthouse. 

Tony was trying really hard not to think about the other half of what Clint had said. He was failing spectacularly. Inviting Steve to his penthouse were it was quiet and they could be alone didn’t really help. At all. The fact that Clint had caught them cuddling wasn’t too promising, either. What the fuck was he doing?

The penthouse was vacant. That was something, at least. 

“Scotch?” Tony asked and the lights above the bar lit up. “Make yourself at home.” He gestured in the general direction of the enormous black leather couch that was placed in front of an equally huge flat screen TV. 

“Let me help you with the glasses” Steve offered and Tony cursed his broken arm again. A great fucking host he was, couldn’t even be trusted with carrying two glasses. He dropped a couple ice cubes in the amber liquid and let Steve pick up one of the glasses. 

Tony drained half the glass at once. What the fuck was he supposed to do now?   
A quick glance at Steve showed him that the Cap seemed to be about as lost. He stared into his drink morosely, his eyes clouded over, completely lost in thought. Fuck.   
“So, um, we’re both being a little tense here, Cap, and I don’t do tense, nope, no fun at all, so how about we lighten up the mood? D’you…I dunno, you wanna watch a movie? I can get you anything you want. Uh. Movie-wise, I mean. Hulu, HBO, Netflix, amazon…you name it!” 

Steve set his glass down on the bar. The lights had dimmed even further and the sky was pitch black. 

Tony barked out a short, uncertain laugh that wasn’t like him at all. “Or not, we don’t have to. Hey, did you bring your sketchpad?” He finished the drink and poured himself another. The ice hadn’t even had the slightest chance of melting. 

“Hm? Yeah, I put it on the coffee table.” Steve made a motion with his head toward the couch. On the undoubtedly very expensive mahogany table – Pepper had pretty much furnished the penthouse and Tony had trusted her judgment without question – lay Steve’s sketchpad and the pencil he’d been drawing with. 

Tony was a naturally curious man and he had a gift for creating diversions. The sketchpad was perfect! 

“Oooh, can I see? Been drawing more of my sleeping glory?” he asked with a wink and Steve’s eyes dropped to the floor. Tony’s face lit up with a mischievous grin and he sloshed the scotch around in his glass. “You are aware that I wanna see your drawings even more now, right?” 

He walked over to the table before Steve could stop him and plopped down on the couch. 

Steve was still standing at the bar, looking like a chastised puppy and Tony chuckled.   
“Oh, c’mon, don’t be embarrassed! If I had any talent whatsoever when it comes to drawing, I’d totally be drawing my face all the time! It’s a beautiful face, I’m not offended. In fact, I’d be offended if you didn’t draw me” he winked and then raised both his eyebrows. “And now come over here and stop standing in the corner all awkward like that, it’s making my heart ache.” 

Steve complied, but he didn’t meet Tony’s eyes as he sat down. Tony started flicking through the sketchpad carefully. 

The pictures were beautiful, but he hadn’t doubted that for a second. He’d seen a lot of Steve’s early sketches. They’d been part of Howard’s Captain America collection.   
The current pictures showed the bustling streets of New York City, the greenery of Central Park, and the tower, always the tower. The view from the street, the aerial view and scenes from inside the tower. And the Avengers were everywhere.   
There was a drawing of Bruce with a terrible bedhead making tea while wearing only a shirt and loose-fitting jeans. Another one of Natasha and Thor immersed in a game of Mario Cart, both looking clearly amused although Tony assumed Natasha had been winning. She always did. The next picture was of Clint cooking. He was smiling to himself while stirring something in a huge wok. Tony couldn’t help but grin at the scene, it looked so much like Clint. They all looked so realistic. 

And then the pictures of Tony himself started and Steve made a miserable noise next to him and looked as if he’d have liked to burry his face in his hands. 

There was a picture of his face. And another one. And another one. And one of his body. And another one.   
Tony working, Tony making coffee, Tony working, Tony drinking, Tony working…

He raised an eyebrow at Steve. “Yeah, that’s not creepy at all.” The expression on his face was uncertain. Why the fuck was Steve drawing him all the time? “You got some weird infatuation with my face or something? I mean, it’s a pretty face, but still…that’s worrying, man.” 

Steve huffed out a laugh and managed to sound just completely done. He also didn’t look as mortified as Tony would have thought.   
“It’s because you’re always around, okay? Clint and Natasha are out on missions more often than not and even when they’re here, they don’t stay in the same place for more than a few minutes. Thor always tells me how honored he feels that I’m drawing him and strikes Asgardian poses that are…not natural, and I just want to draw everyone how they naturally are. And don’t get me started on Bruce! He’s in his lab most of the time or drinking tea and he doesn’t move around all the time, but as soon as he notices me, he gets all nervous and fidgety, so that I end up getting nervous.” 

Tony looked impressed and startled. Steve really had a legit reason? 

“And then there’s you. You’re always in the workshop and if you’re up here, you’re working on your StarkPad-thing. You’re immersed in your work for hours. You hardly even move. It’s the best anatomy study I can get without paying for a model.” Steve shrugged. “And your face is pretty, that’s a fact. It’s an attractive, objectively aesthetic face, of course I like to draw it. Not to forget that your face is plastered on every second billboard in the city. No one living in NYC can escape it.” 

Tony blinked a couple times. He looked from a drawing of himself in the workshop to Steve, an incredulous expression on his face. 

“So you were just…standing outside the workshop, watching me?” he asked in something between horror and awe. 

Steve shrugged. “When you’re working, you don’t notice a thing. I could have started a lightshow on the other side of that glass wall; I could have even done a peep show. And you wouldn’t have seen a thing.” 

A lascivious grin appeared on Tony’s face. “Did you, Captain?” 

The look Steve gave him was deadpan. “You’ll never know, Tony.” 

Tony whined in response and yelled “JARVIS! Pull up the video feed from outside the workshop, all the stuff containing Steve.” 

“Sir, I can’t. You instructed me to cease recording inside the areas that can be accessed by all the Avengers five weeks ago because of privacy reasons” the AI informed him dryly and Tony groaned.   
Then he jabbed a finger at Steve, who looked very satisfied.   
“You! You’re evil!”   
There wasn’t any reaction from Steve and for a second, Tony felt ever so slightly immature. He grinned broadly at Steve and then put his feet on the couch and stretched out, his legs in Steve’s lap.   
Who just looked very bemused and as if he had no idea what to do. 

“Draw me like one of your French girls, Steve!” Tony said and broke into a fit of giggles. 

Steve continued staring and Tony’s eyes grew wide. “No way! No way, you don’t know that reference? Steve! What have you been doing? I mean, besides working, yeah, but Steve! That’s common knowledge really!” 

“Alright, tell me, what movie is it from?” Steve had accepted his fate. 

Tony grinned. “Titanic! Ooooh, you wanna watch Titanic? It’s a classic, everyone’s seen it! Clint cries like a little girl every time” he snickered. 

“Titanic?” Steve didn’t sound too convinced and Tony pulled his feet back to his side of the couch.   
“But…that was a tragedy and a lot of people died…” 

“It’s also a good, kitschy movie, you’ll love it! JARVIS, put on Titanic and make some popcorn!” He jumped up and made his way into the kitchen. 

“Right away, sir”, JARVIS answered. 

A minute later, Tony was settled next to Steve with a bowl of popcorn between them.


	12. Fucking stupid Titanic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Expect fluff and angst and more fluff and Titanic!

He still couldn’t really believe that out of everything he could be doing with Steve, he was watching Titanic. But they both needed to relax after that weird, tension-filled, overly dramatic scene on the roof.   
And Titanic was perfect for that, right?   
Nice and proper people in fancy clothes, a kid that doesn’t fit it but gets the girl anyway and helps her against her bully of fiancé. And he was an artist, too! So much for Steve to identify with. Tony was a fucking genius! 

He was nestled to Steve’s right in a comfortable position, legs folded underneath him. 

Luckily, Steve really smiled as Jack won the ticket and raced to the ship at the last minute and Tony leaned back, relaxed. 

“You ever been on a ship like that?” he asked Steve, who just snorted. 

“I’ve never been particularly gifted at playing cards. And with my health before the serum I wouldn’t have survived a long journey by ship anyway. Have you?”

Tony snuggled closer to Steve, because why the fuck not? “Yeah, of course, I’ve been on countless fancy cruise ships with fellow fancy people” He winked. “Nah, but seriously, I don’t love it. It’s fine if it’s for a few days, but if I get stuck on a ship for more than a week, I grow exceptionally bored and the vacation usually ends in a publicity disaster that my lawyers spend weeks trying to fix.” 

Steve snorted again at that and grabbed a handful of popcorn. 

On the screen in front of Steve and Tony, Rose, her mother and Cal were having lunch. 

“What a douche…” Steve murmured. “I can’t stand self-righteous filthy rich guys like that.” 

Tony hummed in agreement and Steve seemed to realize what he had said, because he turned to Tony, an apologetic expression on his face. “I didn’t mean you, of course! I mean, you’re filthy rich and sometimes you’re a self-righteous pain in the ass, but you’re nothing like that-“ he pointed at Cal, “guy there. You don’t treat people like that.” 

That actually brought an amused smile to Tony’s face. “It’s fine, I’m not offended. The parallels are there, I can’t deny it.” He shrugged. “And, tbh, my public face is quite a bit like that, but that’s my own fault and I don’t give a fuck about what the public thinks, so whatever! That ship sailed decades ago…” 

They continued to watch the film, making several comments in between, while JARVIS dimmed the lights even further. Tony was starting to think that he was doing it to set the mood, but that was ridiculous. Right? And after all, it was not like Tony was gonna make a move on Steve. On Steve, who he was pressed against and who had his hand rested on Tony’s thigh. Nope, never. Fucking hell! 

“Look, she wanted to jump for real! It’s a recurring theme tonight, Steve!” he exclaimed through a fit of laughter. Steve didn’t grace him with an answer, but that was fine.   
He actually looked happy about the dancing-scene under deck, just as Tony had anticipated, and Tony couldn’t hold back a small smile himself. Steve was such a fucking sap! And he looked so fucking adorable! No grown man should have been able to look that adorable!

“Ah, this! This is what I was talking about!”   
Rose slipped out of her robe and lay down on the sofa, all nude except for the obscene piece of jewelry. 

Steve cocked an eyebrow at Tony. “You want me to draw you naked?” His voice was dead serious as he asked and he looked Tony directly in the eyes.   
Tony himself raised both his eyebrows and smirked as if he was challenging him.   
Then they both burst out laughing. 

After they had calmed down, Tony motioned at the screen.   
“Oh, I do, Steve, but only if we follow through with what happens next.” 

Rose and Jack had just entered a car. The car. Oh yes, Tony was going there, he was feeling bold. 

Steve grinned. “Alright, but only if it’s that exact car.” 

“You want the sex car, Steve? I can get you the sex car, no problem!” 

“I don’t mean a replica, it has to be that car or I just won’t be able to get in the mood.”

“Who do you think I am? I’m Tony Stark, if anyone can get you that car, it’s me.” He winked and Steve fluttered his eyelashes. Jesus fucking Christ, Steve was fucking flirting with him!   
“JARVIS, order the Titanic sex car!” 

“I’ll give it my best, sir. Should it be delivered directly to Captain Rogers?” JARVIS sounded amused, but maybe that was just Tony’s imagination. 

He gave Steve a teasing smile and answered “No, just put it in a hidden corner in the garage, wouldn’t wanna spook the good Captain.” 

“Understood, sir.” 

Now Steve did stare at him. Tony cocked his head. “Hm?” he asked, smiling lazily. 

“You didn’t really just buy the sex car, did you? That…you were kidding, right?” 

“Steve!” Tony managed to look and sound outraged while snickering at the same time. It worked, somehow. Probably had something to do with the fact that he was a genius. Or just really fucking turned on by the thought of having sex with Steve in that fucking car. Or just anywhere, really, for that matter.   
“I wouldn’t promise you something and then not go through with it! That would be rude and rude people get eaten by Hannibal, so I try not to be rude! So you’re getting the sex car and I’m getting my nude portrait, that’s how this deal works!” 

Steve looked slightly baffled, but then he seemed to decide to play along. He leaned closer to Tony and brushed a strand of hair out of his face all the while looking deeply into his eyes. Fuck.   
Then he murmured “By that analogy, you’d be Rose and I’d be Jack…who am I saving you from?” which was entirely too much for Tony, sensory overload, all systems shutting down. He blinked. And then he bridged the miniscule gap there still was and pressed his lips on Steve’s. Steve leaned into the kiss and his hand wandered to Tony’s neck. His breath was hot on Tony’s face and his lips were rough and Tony felt like tearing his clothes off right there. Steve pulled him nearer and closed his eyes and Tony let his eyes drift shut, too. They deepened the kiss and Steve let out a low moan that gave Tony goose bumps. The good kind. He used his teeth to pull Steve closer and Steve opened his mouth, eager. Tony slipped his tongue into Steve’s warm mouth and fuck but this was everything he’d imagined, only it was so much better and Tony couldn’t handle this. Fuck! He gasped and opened his eyes. Blue meet blue. 

Steve looked flushed as he pulled away and Tony bit on his lower lip, his head cocked slightly to the side. 

They looked at each other for a moment, taking in their equally flushed forms and catching a breath.   
The lights were still as dim as before, but Tony could clearly make out Steve’s reddened lips and his disheveled hair. God, he wanted to fuck him right into the couch! 

Steve laughed, a low, deep sound and for some weird reason, Tony felt self-conscious. He ran his left hand through his hair and tapped the arc reactor absentmindedly.   
“You promised me a car.” It was only a low murmur, but Tony caught the words and grinned. 

His voice sounded rough when he replied “The car is on its way, Cap, but I didn’t order it on amazon, so it won’t be there in the morning – sorry to disappoint.”

But Steve just stared at Tony in amazement and started to hesitantly caress his hair before whispering, “You really don’t disappoint, Tony Stark.” It made Tony feel all warm inside, and in a strange way, because it was not just that he had the hots for Steve – which, yeah, granted, he totally did – but that it was just a genuinely nice thing to say to him. People didn’t usually do that. And not after a heavy make-out session, either. Aw fuck. 

He let himself sink back against Steve’s shoulder and the Cap draped his arm around him.   
In front of them, Jack had just been handcuffed to the pipe for allegedly stealing the amulet. 

“Kinky” Tony murmured and Steve cracked a smile. 

What the fuck was happening? What had just happened? Had someone hit Tony’s brains right out of his skull?

“Stop overthinking, Tony, for once in your life. Please?”

Steve seemed to be able to read his mind. Like, for real, it was confirmed now. And he wasn’t even overthinking! Or at least he hadn’t been, but now the gears in his brain – hey, he still had one! - started shifting and holy fuck, he’d just made out with Steve and Steve hadn’t pulled back and they were still cuddling and Steve had said that Tony was not a disappointment and they had just made out and god, Tony wanted that fucking sex car right now! 

The sky was turning an eerie orange color, the sort that could only ever be seen in big cities, and Tony decided to stop thinking. Instead, he buried his head in the crook of Steve’s shoulder and let it all wash over him. 

“Thank you” Steve whispered and his hand found its way into Tony’s mob of disheveled hair. There, it started to tentatively caress Tony’s hair and massage his scalp.   
He couldn’t suppress a small moan and closed his eyes. Who needed Titanic if you could have this? 

As they continued to sit like that, snuggled closely against each other, popcorn bowl long since abandoned on the floor, Tony leaning into Steve’s touch and Steve stroking his hair, Tony slowly drifted off. He was all warm and comfy and it had to be close to sunrise and Steve was there and he had told him that he should stop overthinking, so there: he’d just sleep for once in his life, like a normal person, because when he was around Steve, he didn’t feel all that different. 

He awoke with a start because Steve had a death grip on his hair and it hurt! Like, seriously hurt! 

“Fuck, Steve, what…” Tony started blearily before taking in the scene. 

Steve, frozen in shock, his body rigid and his breath coming in short, fast huffs.   
His eyes were unfocused and the hand in Tony’s hair was trembling ever so slightly. 

“Fuck. Steve, look at me, c’mon, snap out of it!” Tony commanded, a hint of panic in his voice. 

On the TV the water level was rising and there was a panic on the ship. People were screaming as they fell into the freezing water and Tony understood. 

“JARVIS, mute the TV!” he barked and mentally slapped himself in the face.   
How the fuck could he have chosen a movie with ice and freezing and water and drowning? How fucking stupid could he be? After everything Steve had been through! A fucking awesome friend he was… 

“Steve? Steve, I’m so sorry, I really am, but you’re safe. You’re in the Avengers tower, in the penthouse, on the couch with me, Tony Stark, and we’re watching a movie. The war is over, we won, you did well, and now you’re safe.” His voice was calm and steady and he had managed to get his left hand free and was now rubbing Steve’s back. He’d read somewhere that actual touching helped ground someone during a flashback.   
“JARVIS, crank up the heat!” 

“Of course, sir. Would you like me to notify someone? Doctor Banner or the agents Barton and Romanoff?” JARVIS sounded about as concerned as Tony felt, but he still shook his head. 

“We’ll be fine, thanks J!” 

Then he turned back to Steve, who was slowly relaxing, and muttered more soothing nonsense. 

“Tony…?” Steve sounded so tired and there were unshed tears gleaming in his eyes. Tony briefly considered flinging himself off the roof after all, but he had the suspicion that it wouldn’t exactly make Steve happier, so he suppressed the urge. 

“Steve, you’re alright, everything is fine” he instead assured Steve and Steve took a few shallow breaths. Then he disentangled his hand from Tony’s hair with a sad, self-depreciating smile. 

Tony caught the smile and his features hardened. He took Steve’s hand in his and pressed it.   
“There’ll be non of that, Cap!” he commanded sternly and Steve furrowed his eyebrows.   
“It’s not your fault that you got a fucking flashback, alright? It happens to all of us, even Tasha and Clint, so you won’t get to feel embarrassed about this! Tasha would have nearly beheaded me once and don’t get me started on Bruce…So no, it’s not your fault and I don’t think you’re weak or any of that bullshit. If anything, I’m the one who should feel bad since I was so fucking stupid to pick a movie with both ice and drowning!” 

Beside him, Steve shook his head, but Tony wasn’t finished yet.   
“I’m sorry, Steve, I really am. I guess I wasn’t thinking it all, it wasn’t on purpose, I swear! I mean, I get it if you think I’m a total douche now, it was a fuckin bad move on my part, fuckin cruel, but I’m sorry-”

“Do I still get the sex car?” Steve muttered quietly and Tony blinked. 

“What?” 

“The sex car. You said you’d give it to me.” He smiled at Tony and rested his head on Tony’s shoulder. 

Tony exhaled a breath he hadn’t known he was holding in and knocked his head lightly against Steve’s.   
“I’ll get you any car you want. And anything else, too, doesn’t have to be a car.” And he meant it. 

“Wow. I seriously got the worst timing possible!” Clint exclaimed from the doorway and Steve and Tony flinched, Tony knocking his head against Steve’s in the process.

“Ow! The fuck are you doing here, birdbrain?” he all but hissed and Clint raised his hands, again. 

“I’m just here for the milk, didn’t wanna interrupt your cuddling session and…Titanic? You serious? You’re snuggling on the couch, holding hands and watching Titanic? That’s a real platonic bonding moment for you then! I’m happy for you, kids!” He winked and walked over to the fridge. 

Tony stared and let go of Steve’s hand to rub at his temple. That had fucking hurt!  
“What milk?” 

Clint shrugged, a sheepish grin on his face. “Ah, y’know…” He opened the fridge and pulled out a carton of milk. “Tasha and Steve always finish the milk downstairs and your fridge is always well-stocked or you just don’t like milk, I dunno, anyway, I sometimes kinda borrow…you milk?” He grinned innocently, phrasing it like a question. “I need milk for my cookies!” 

Steve chuckled and Tony threw him and Clint a dirty look. “I let you live in my tower free of charge and you repay me by stealing my milk? I thought there was a problem in JARVIS’ programming and that’s why there never was any milk! And it was you all along! JARVIS, I’m sorry that I ever doubted you”

“It is fine, sir, you are a man of many flaws.” 

Clint laughed even louder at that and walked towards the door. He raised his hand in a mock salute and said “Anyway, enjoy your casual bonding session. Nighty night!” Then he walked to the elevator humming something that sounded suspiciously like Careless Whisper under his breath and Tony groaned.   
This night was a complete disaster!

JARVIS had turned the TV off and Tony was grateful for that at least. And for the fact that Clint hadn’t decided to have cookies five minutes earlier. 

“You alright?” he asked Steve quietly, who shrugged half-heartedly in return.   
“Wanna go to bed?” 

Steve shrugged again and looked so lost and vulnerable that Tony wanted to smash the TV with his own hands. Hand. Whatever. Why the fuck had he suggested Titanic?   
He took Steve’s hand and tugged at it. “C’mon, you must be exhausted.” 

They walked to Tony’s bedroom – again! – and Steve stripped down to his boxers this time. Tony raised an eyebrow and let his gaze wander for a second until Steve cleared his throat loudly. Tony’s head shot up, but Steve was smiling a crooked smile.   
“I’m fine, by the way. It wasn’t the first flashback and I’m really mostly over it. And it was still a nice evening.” He crawled into the bed after Tony. “Even though it started with you suspecting me of attempting suicide…” 

As soon as Tony’s body had touched the mattress, he’d felt as if a switch had been pressed and he was so fucking tired all of a sudden. His eyelids were all heavy and the bed was so soft and Steve next to him was so warm and smelled nice and fuck, but Tony was actually happy. He’d freak out in the morning, he was certain about that, but for now he was happy. 

“Yeah, it was a nice evening. Night. Whatever” he muttered and turned over to Steve. “G’night” He gave him a small peck on the lips and drifted off before he had the chance to freak out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, some Stony-action at long last! What do you think?


	13. Fucking stupid briefings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The new AoU-trailer!!!   
> The angst is tangible! I can't wait!!! Sassy Steve and suffering Tony...it looks so promising!

“Morning, Tony” Steve’s voice murmured quietly into his ear and a hand ruffled his hair. 

Tony opened his eyes blearily to the beautiful view of Captain America’s bedhead.   
Steve had a lazy smile on his face and held a hand in front of his mouth as he yawned loudly.   
Interesting. Apparently Steve wasn’t 100% a morning person after all. Tony snickered. 

“Hm?” Steve asked, but Tony just shook his head. 

“Morning indeed…JARVIS, time!” 

“Good morning, sir. It is 10:46am at the moment. Is there anything else I can do for you, or have I been reduced to a highly intelligent clock?” 

JARVIS sounded pissed, somehow. And, well, he was kinda right, Tony hadn’t actually done any work lately and JARVIS had been doing nothing but search for traces of HYDRA.   
Speaking of which…

“Anything happen with our merry little bunch of terrorists?”

“There have been no unusual movements. I will report as soon as I register any kind of change. I should remind you that you made plans to install some kind of security feature on the roof. Do you want me to start working on that or should I continue to serve as a clock and a lamp?” 

Now even Steve couldn’t help but smile. 

“Aw, baby, don’t be jealous!” Tony crooned. “I’ll be down in the workshop with you in no time, for now just keep watching those HYDRA fuckers.”

He yawned and stretched his arms – even the one in the cast. Somehow, he didn’t feel much inclination to get up. Not at all carefully or secretly he threw a glance at Steve. Hot damn, why did the man keep ending up in Tony’s bed like this? What kinda torture was this? 

“Enjoying the view?” Steve asked after a couple moments and propped himself up. Then he smoothed a hand over his hair in a futile attempt to get the mess of goldilocks in order. Tony could see the muscles in his arms and shoulders flexing and fuck, but Steve had arms like Thor and Thor was a god or some funky shit like that. Damn! Granted, it wasn’t like Tony hadn’t on some subconscious level been aware of that - that goddamn skintight uniform didn’t leave anything to the imagination – but seeing it, literally, in the nude was something else entirely. His eyes trailed down to Steve’s bare chest and Tony had to blink.   
He was outright staring now and shit, but this was Captain America! And Steve! Because Steve was Captain America!   
He couldn’t be blatantly obviously lusting after Captain America who just happened to be occupying his bed! Not after Steve, who happened to be his friend! Fuck!

So he just put on his best lascivious grin – he didn’t really have to put up much of an act for it – and replied “You come down to my workshop to watch me! So you’re in no place to talk! And by the way, you’re the one in my bed, Cap, so I’m allowed to stare. It’s a nice view.” 

Steve looked slightly surprised but ultimately amused and Tony breathed an internal sigh of relief. That uniform, though…now that he thought about it, it was way too tight! How any of their enemies could even fight Steve was beyond Tony…shouldn’t they all be distracted by the glorious body of righteousness? How did the team work with that constant distraction prancing around? And how, oh god, SHIELD! Steve walked around the headquarters wearing that sinful excuse for a uniform. Perverts! Those SHIELD agents should be ashamed of themselves! And he should, too, since he was the one to blame for the inappropriate thing in the first place! Tony had designed the armor, just like all of the Avenger’s armor and weapons, but now he felt dirty. Poor, pure Steve, all innocent and an actually good person, and he’d made him put on this skintight suit as if he was about to star in a porno.   
Fuck. Hopefully Steve didn’t think he’d wanted him to star in a porno. Though, truth to be told…no!  
He needed to redesign the uniform. 

“So…as flattering as it is to be…uh, admired like that, your stare is starting to creep me out, Tony. Um, breakfast?” Steve sat up completely and swung his legs out of the bed. 

Tony made a low, whiny noise and murmured “Only if you make pancakes.” 

Even Steve’s back was nice to look it. Goddamn.   
Until he pulled last night’s shirt and woolen cardigan on and blocked the nice view. Then he turned around, clearly amused. “Anything for you, dear.” He looked like a hot single dad. Tony didn’t know where the thought had come from.

He felt something warm flush through his body and boggled at the feeling. Anything for you, dear. Nopenopenope. Steve was just playing along, he was just making fun. Just like Tony. They were just fucking kidding, there was no fucking reason for Tony to get all happy and glowy. And his arm was still broken so he was still fucking useless. And there were still terrorists with HYDRA weapons camping outside the border, so nope, no reason to be happy. 

“Tony? You coming?” Steve asked with another smile, now fully dressed. 

“Do I have to?” he asked, still in the whiny voice. Somehow hiding away in his bedroom seemed like the better alternative all of a sudden. Urgh. 

Steve raised an eyebrow and threw some sweatpants and a Hulk-shirt at Tony. Yeah, Tony liked his merchandise. “I won’t bring the pancakes to your bed, you gotta get up and socialize with the rest of the group to get breakfast.” 

“You’re so mean” Tony muttered, his voice muffled by the shirt he was struggling with. “Don’t even think about helping me into my goddamn shirt, Steve!” he ground out and wiggled into it with some difficulty. Steve just watched him in amusement and Tony felt like screaming. This was humiliation on a whole new level. 

He trailed after Steve, who walked straight into the huge communal kitchen. Tony barely registered the others sitting at the kitchen table, though. He was writing down ideas on how to make the roof a safer place, his left thumb flying over his StarkPhone faster than humanly possible. Absently, he dropped on a chair next to Bruce placed the phone on the table. When he raised his head, Clint was staring at him from the opposite side of the table with the biggest shit-eating grin imaginable. 

“Had a good night, Tony? Steve?” he asked sweetly and started cackling. 

Tony reached out in one fluid motion, grabbed Clint’s coffee pot and finished his coffee in one big gulp. Then he turned to Steve, who was rummaging through the cupboards, trying to find the ingredients for pancakes.   
“It was quite nice, wasn’t it, darling?” Tony’s voice was at least as sickly sweet as Clint’s had been and he could feel Bruce next to him cringing. 

Steve looked up, a mollified expression on his face, and responded, “Oh, the best night in a long time. Want anything specific in your pancakes, honey?” 

Tony grinned. “Blueberries! And I want lots of pancakes!” 

“Right away!” Steve started whisking the batter and Tony was met with the bemused stares of the Avengers. Everyone except for Thor looked at Tony as if he’d committed a blasphemous act – and yeah, maybe despoiling Steve like that was a crime, but it was so much fun! 

Thor just smiled and watched them for a while before yelling, “Brave Captain, may I order a pancake as well?” 

Bruce stared at Tony over the frame of his glasses, a look somewhere between disapproval and curiosity on his face and Tony just shrugged. 

Clint whistled. “Whatever happened after I left, it musta been good. And no, Stark, I don’t need any details!” 

Steve chose that moment to place a plate loaded with pancakes in front of Tony and Tony debated for a split second if giving the Cap a peck on the cheek would be too much. When Steve turned away to pass a plate filled with pancakes to Thor, Tony was glad. 

“Oh, this is gonna be good…” Natasha murmured and – as far as Tony could make it out from where he was sitting diagonally across from her – opened the camera app on her phone. Tony could already feel the newest twitter PR nightmare. 

Meanwhile, Steve had shuffled back into the kitchen to get himself a helping of pancakes, too, and came back to slide into the space to Tony’s right.   
“Do you need help with your pancakes?” he asked and motioned to the cast. He looked so sincere that Tony couldn’t tell for a moment if he was still putting on a show for the others or if he was actually offering help. 

Ah, fuck it! Whatever, man, he was Tony Stark, Steve would not out-sass him! 

So he bit down on his bottom lip – Pepper had always secretly loved it when he’d done that- and asked “Feed me?” as demurely as he could. 

Clint actually choked on his cornflakes and Bruce buried his head in the newspaper and hunched his shoulder as if he wanted to make himself even smaller. 

Steve smiled a cheeky smile, his blue eyes blazing, as he cut the pancake and fed Tony a piece. “Is it any good?” 

“Mhm!” Tony nodded and added an obscene moan for good measure. 

On the opposite side of the table Natasha was taking pictures without so much as blinking. 

“Will you share it on twitter for all our loyal supporters to see, Lady Natasha?” Thor asked between a mouthful of pancake and Steve’s head whipped around.   
“You know about twitter?” he asked incredulously and Thor broke into a booming laugh. 

“Captain, do you still not know how to operate the internet properly? Finish your food and I shall teach you!”

Clint snickered. “You were right, Tasha, this is gonna be good!”

“I’ll send you the photo, Thor, then you can teach Steve and upload it.” Natasha suggested, the corners of her mouth curled upward. Oh, she was enjoying it, Tony knew it. But if he was being honest, he was kinda looking forward to Thor teaching Steve about twitter…he should probably film the whole thing, it was bound to become a work of art. 

Tony typed a command to JARVIS on his phone so Steve wouldn’t notice anything and then started drafting the schematics of a force field for the roof that worked with the same technology as the weapon Obie had used all those years ago to paralyze Tony in his own living room. Only now, Tony would use it to automatically paralyze everyone who got within the immediate distance of the edge. After paralyzing the person JARVIS would sound an alarm so that Tony or any of the other Avengers could rush up there and secure their suicidal/drunk/high/confused friend or teammate.   
It was a good plan and he already had the technology for it, so it was gonna be a piece of cake. 

In the background, Thor explained the significance of hashtags and how tagging things and people worked. 

“See? In the photograph, since it displays Tony and you eating, you shall tag him! And use the hashtags #poortony and for you…#bravecaptain” He explained away and Steve listened intently, though Tony could tell that he was a bit confused about the whole situation. 

At the mention of the tags, though, Tony’s head shot up. “Wait a sec there, Disney princess! Why am I poor Tony and he’s the brave Captain? That is so not fair! That’s bullying! You all suck! You’re supposed to be supportive and understanding in my time of need!” he whined and waved his cast around. 

“That’s because you’re a dick, Tony.” Clint deadpanned. “Only now you’re a dick with a broken arm. So now we’re allowed to make fun of you. And it’s totally fair. You always make fun of us when we get injured.” He shrugged as if he was stating a fact. “And you’re a dick for drinking my coffee, just sayin’” 

“Captain, Doctor, Agents, Mr Odinson.” JARVIS’ voice suddenly interrupted their breakfast. Without addressing Tony. What the fuck? “Director Fury has left me a message you. You are to report to SHIELD headquarters immediately to rendezvous with Colonel Rhodes. You are to be briefed about how SHIELD wishes to handle the situation involving the terrorists at the Mexican border.” 

“Hey, what about me, J?” he shouted in disbelief. 

“Sir, I am sorry. Director Fury’s orders were quite clear. You are to remain inside the tower at all costs. The Director was…quite colorful in conveying that message.”

“Aw, damn. Just when we were having fun for once…” Clint whined and got up. “Well, Cap, Thor, playtime’s over!”

Thor posted the picture and Steve and him got up as well. Bruce put the newspaper aside, sighed and pushed his glasses up.   
“For what it’s worth, Tony, I’d rather stay here with you.” He said with a grim smile on his face. 

“Be good while we’re gone, Tony!” Steve added and ruffled his hair once more. 

“Sure thing, Cap, you know me, I’m always good” Tony responded with a smirk, but his mood had just dropped below freezing point. Fucking Fury and SHIELD and HYDRA and all that shit! 

“C’mon, boys! I’m driving!” Natasha called from the elevator and the rest of the Avengers rushed out of the room, leaving Tony alone at the kitchen table. 

Man, his life sure sucked sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some domestic fluff, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. I feel like those poor people need some domestic fluff in their lives...


	14. Fucking stupid ideas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy Tony being a whiny little bitch and JARVIS being a snarky bastard!

“JARVIS?” Tony had taken the elevator down to the workshop and was now spinning idly in his chair. Or rather not so idly, but actually at a neck-breaking speed. “JARVIS! I’m bored!”

The AI made a sound like a grave sigh. “Sir, in the last five minutes alone you have stated that fact 47 times. Would you like me to tell you the time or dim the lights for you?” 

“Goddammit, J! I wanna be able to work, this is boring as fuck and I’m useless! I wasn’t even called to the fucking briefing!”

“Sir, you hate briefings and avoid them at all cost. And when you do grace a briefing with your presence, you spend the entire time playing on your phone, inventing kitchen appliances that are potentially lethal, text Miss Potts or live-tweet how boring the briefing is. Point being, sir, you never pay attention at briefings.” 

Tony groaned and stopped his chair briefly to change directions. He was starting to get dizzy from all the spinning. “Fuck, I know that, JARVIS! But I’m boooored!” Maybe he should just get day drunk again. Why the fuck not? Who knew when the rest of his team of backstabbing, abandoning traitors would return!  
“It’s all because of that fucking cast!”

“Actually, sir, it is because of your reckless behaviour. One would think that at your age, you would have learned your boundaries. You never cease to amaze, sir.”

“Adds to my charm, J, the ladies like it.” Tony responded, grinning. Ah, he had missed bickering with his greatest creation. 

JARVIS huffed out something like a laugh before stating “I’m not sure Captain Rogers appreciates it.” 

Tony stopped spinning immediately. His stomach dropped as if someone had just opened the floor of the workshop and dropped Tony in free fall. Fuck! He gripped the table with his left hand and breathed deeply through his nose. His heart hammered away in his chest and oh shit, but this was so not cool, this had to stop, fucking hell, now even his AI set this off? What the fuck!

“You been hanging out with Barton too much, J. Don’t believe a word that man tells you, he’s full of lies. In fact, they all are! Fucking creepy ass SHIELD spies, can’t trust them…” His voice didn’t sound steady at all and Tony desperately needed a drink now, like, immediately. Fuck. 

“Sir, I apologize if what I said caused you discomfort. Sit down, put your head between your knees and take deep, slow breaths.” JARVIS instructed in a calm voice and Tony felt bad for him. 

“I’m good, J, it’s all good” he responded halfheartedly. No need for JARVIS to blame himself for Tony’s fucked-up-ness. 

“Do you want me to notify someone?” 

Tony leaned back in the seat and sighed. Who’d he call when everyone he cared about was in a briefing without him? Sure, he could send Cap naughty texts again, but that would be putting on a nice show for Clint who was seriously meddling too much already. Fucking birdbrain should mind his own business. What Tony thought of Steve and what he did with Steve was none of his fucking business! He’d have to have a serious talk about boundaries and personal space and milk with Clint when he got back. 

And Steve, oh god, Steve! And that shameful uniform that was tight in all the right places…no, wrong! The uniform was all wrong! Poor Steve! He had to design a new one! 

“Sir? I could call Miss Potts, she is currently taking her lunch break.” JARVIS tried again. Huh. 

“Oh. Pep. Right. Yeah, good thinking, JARVIS, call her.”   
Pepper would know what to do, she always did. Pepper was the most terrifying human being on earth, Fury had nothing on her. If he ever retired, Pepper would be more than fit to lead SHIELD herself. Fuck Maria Hill, Pepper Potts was the woman they needed. Too bad she was Tony’s CEO, because he was not giving her up ever. 

He shuffled over to the minibar and poured himself a gin tonic. Just one, to loosen his tongue. 

“Tony, hi.” Pepper’s voice greeted him as he slouched down in the chair again. “Did something happen or are you just making a social call?” 

He could hear her smile through the phone. Pepper was in a good mood. That was good, because Tony himself was in an abysmal mood. He took a sip of his drink before replying.   
“Hey Pep…no, nothing happened. Like, at least nothing happened to me. Nothing at all cause I’m stuck while everyone - even Rhodey, Pep!, even Rhodey – are out talking to SHIELD and I’m just here…in the workshop…talking to JARVIS.” He knew he sounded whiny and pathetic. Pepper had heard worse. 

“Oh Tony. I saw the picture on twitter this morning, it looked like you were having fun.” 

Tony groaned and took a larger sip of his drink. Good thing he hadn’t enabled video call, Pepper wouldn’t approve.   
“Yeah, I know, we’re fucking cute. Right after that the bastards left me behind! Hey Pep, weird question but humor me. What do you think of Steve’s uniform?” He had to know. Pepper had a set of eyes, too, after all. 

“Um. What? Steve’s uniform? It’s…very patriotic?” she asked uncertainly and Tony shook his head vehemently.   
“Nonono, I mean, yeah, of course it is, but that’s not what I mean, I mean it’s tight, isn’t it? Like, really really tight?”

Pepper hesitated. “I…suppose?” 

“I need to redesign it, Pep. I can’t…god, how anyone can concentrate when Steve is wearing that thing is beyond me, I mean, have you looked at him? Pep, I’m not imagining things because I’ve been stuck in the tower for so long, right? It’s not Stockholm syndrome, is it?” His glass was empty and he wasn’t making sense anymore. Shit. 

Apparently Pepper thought so as well. “Tony. What are you talking about? You’ve only had the cast for a little more than two weeks. You’ve spent more time in your workshop before and you didn’t suddenly fall in love with Dummy, so I think you’re fine.”

Tony blanched and got up to pour himself another drink. “Love? Pep, no, no, you got something wrong there, I just…how did Cap put it…find him aesthetically pleasing, yeah, that’s the expression. And like, yeah, sure, he’s hot alright, and he’s really nice and caring but he’s also sassy and sarcastic and you can’t watch Titanic with him because of the ice and all the dying, but god, I’m not, I’m not in love with him. Pepper. I’m not. I’m not, right? It was just some making out, that’s, like, I’ve made out with lotsa people, that means nothing! Oh fuck…” 

“Tony, shh. It’s okay, don’t freak out.” How could she always stay that calm? And why had Tony just told her about the make-out session?   
“Maybe you’re not in love with him, love is a big word, but you like him and as more than just a friend with benefits. You can admit at least that much, right?” 

He nodded grudgingly. “Well, yeah, I mean, who doesn’t like Steve? And I don’t think he does friends with benefits, not the type for it I’m afraid. But the uniform, Pep, I need to make a new one! One that’s not so…tight!” 

Pepper chuckled. “Doesn’t he need the uniform to fight? The uniform is fine, Tony, you don’t need to design a new one. And anyway, doesn’t Steve like the uniform? Isn’t that what’s most important?” 

“No, Pep, no! I wanna jump him every time I see him in costume! That can’t be healthy! Poor Steve, he doesn’t deserve that!” 

“Judging from the photo I’d say he doesn’t mind all that much.” Pepper deadpanned. “Tony, I’m sorry, but I need to get back to work. Steve’s uniform is fine, you’re fine, just calm down. Don’t do anything stupid, the Avengers will be back soon.”

Dummy whirred over to Tony and he absently petted the bot’s head. “Why does everyone always tell me not to do anything stupid? I’m a grown man, for fuck’s sake!” 

“You keep telling yourself that, Tony.” Pepper replied in the way that Tony imagined resigned mothers patronized their children. Not that his mother had ever done much of that, but then again, she hadn’t really done much of anything.   
“Look, if you’d just like to get out of the tower we could meet for coffee sometime this week. I can just disguise it as a business meeting and no one needs to know.” 

Dummy made a low, vibrating noise not unlike a purr as Tony continued bobbing his head.   
“Ooh, Pep, deviant! I like it! Thanks for the offer, though, I should probably get out once in a while, sounds like a lovely occasion. I’ll call you or text you or something. Or rather, you text me seeing as I’m free anyway since I’ve broken my fucking arm and can’t do shit!”

Pepper laughed. “Alright, I’ll text you. Bye Tony, take care.”

“You too, Pep.” The call disconnected and Tony turned to Dummy, an eyebrow raised. “Whatever Pepper said, I’m not falling in love with you. So you can stop that purring nonsense right away, you piece of junk. You’re not cute!” 

He knocked back his second drink. That conversation hadn’t even been that much of a disaster. No new uniform for Steve then, he’d have to learn to live with that. And the notion that he was in love with Cap…nah, better not dwell on that thought. Best burry it deep, down with all of the lovely childhood memories and flashbacks from Afghanistan and being paralyzed by Obie and flying a nuke into space and all that shit. Yeah. 

Tony pulled out his phone and looked at the picture of Steve and him. Shit. It really was a bit more than just friendly. Steve had a huge grin on his face as he held a fork with a piece of blueberry pancake in front of Tony’s open mouth. His eyes were crinkled and he looked as if he was enjoying himself immensely. Likewise there was a twinkle in Tony’s eyes and his eyebrows were cocked in a deviant fashion. The whole scene looked disgustingly domestic.   
It was full on flirting for all the world to see. 

“Shit…JARVIS, what am I doing?” he murmured into the empty and uncharacteristically silent workshop. 

“You are currently staring at a photograph of Captain Rogers and yourself, sighing a lot while you’re doing so. Do you want me to tell you why or should I change the topic, sir?” 

Tony sighed once more. “Change the topic.” 

“As you wish. You have yet to complete the new security system on the roof, sir. Would you like me to send for some of Stark Industry’s engineers to conduct the work? I have finished all necessary calculations.” 

That was a nice change of topic. Work was always good, Tony knew how to do work. He hummed. “Show me the finished product again, J.” 

A split second later a holographic version of the construction was hovering in front of Tony. He turned it upside down and examined every part of it before nodding. “Yeah, looks perfect. You’re good to go, J. But please, please pick someone competent. And make sure that they don’t fall off the roof during construction, that would be embarrassing and Legal would have my head for all the paperwork it would result in.” 

“Sir.” 

Well...now work was all taken care of, too. That was anticlimactic. And he didn’t have a single fucking thing to do. Again.   
A quick glance on his phone told him that it was just 3pm, meaning the Avengers hadn’t been gone for more than 3.5 hours. How long did that fucking briefing take anyway? 

Next to Tony, Dummy beeped in an obvious attempt to get attention. 

“What is it, baby?” He’d make a horrible parent, Tony reflected. He always gave in almost instantly. His kids would be the most horribly spoilt brats ever. What a nightmare. Even thinking about it made Tony’s stomach churn. 

But Dummy was placated and whirred back and forth happily. Such a simple-minded piece of junk, Tony thought smiling. 

And then a terrible, horrible, god-awful idea popped into his head. He immediately realized it was most definitely one of his worse idea, not as bad as not telling anyone that he was dying or as bad as basically committing suicide by nuke, but pretty damn stupid and reckless anyway. Sorry, Pep. There were so many ways this could go wrong, but then again he was Tony Stark, he’d managed to build the Iron Man armor from scratch, he’d be fine, so far he’d always been fine and today wouldn’t be the day his luck would run out. He hoped. Fiercely. 

He hopped out of the chair and tapped Dummy’s camera. “Hey, Dummy, you wanna help me?” 

The robot whirred around in circles excitedly, head bobbing up and down. 

“Awesome! Alright, listen up, I need you to remove the cast, this ugly white thing here.” He waved his arm up and down in front of the camera.   
“Just get a saw and cut it open. But just the cast, understood? My arm’s under that and I still need that, so no cutting my arm. Just the cast. Yeah? Got it?” 

Dummy, who had been listening and watching apprehensively, nodded in the most solemn way a robot that didn’t have a face could. 

“Sir, I really must advice you to rethink!” JARVIS chimed in, voice stern. “Your arm needs to remain in a cast for at least three more weeks, otherwise the bone cannot mend properly. You are aware of this, sir. Might I also remind you that you are about to trust Dummy with a dangerous weapon? Dummy means well, but he is not the brightest or most careful robot and you are basically offering him your arm. What if he slips? Or what if he doesn’t stop in time? Sir, this is a most reckless idea and I see no merit to it. You could lose a limb solely due to your impatience.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Aaah JARVIS, you worry too much. Chill. Take it easy. ‘s gonna be fine. After all I was the one who built Dummy and I don’t make mistakes. So. Everything’s gonna work out just fine and I’ll be free to work and go on missions and to briefings and there won’t be any more poor Tony!” Just to calm his nerves he poured himself a third drink. Not that he needed it, really, he trusted Dummy, he was his creation after all, and there was really no need to worry, JARVIS was just being difficult. Still. One more drink wouldn’t hurt. 

“Sir, do I need to remind you that it was an error on your part which caused you the fracture in the first place? Or do you want me to play the videos of you testing the Mark II suit? Please, for once in your life behave like the genius you’re supposed to be and reconsider!” JARVIS’ voice had taken on a more urgent tone now, but Tony was sipping his gin and ignored him. He knew what he was doing. 

He walked over to the workbench and placed his cast on it. Then he waved Dummy over to him. 

“Aright, buddy, on to the exciting part! Get out your buzz saw and cut right…” He rummaged through the pile of tools and parts until he found a green sharpie. After opening it with his mouth and keeping the cap of the sharpie in the corner of his mouth, Tony drew a sloppy line down the cast, awkwardly holding the sharpie in his left hand. “Here, right here! Got it, Dummy? Any questions?” He closed the sharpie and dropped it back in the mountain of maybe-useful stuff. 

Dummy whirred and beeped and Tony took that as a no. 

“Alright then.” He took the last sip of his drink and put the glass down. “Here goes nothing…do it, Dummy!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be gone for the week, work from Monday to Friday. Not sure if I'll have the time to write, but I'll try! <3


	15. Fucking stupid interruptions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I didn't write so much as a sentence last week. Work was extreme! 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy some unhappy words. It somehow turned so serious.

The shrill sound of the buzz saw chimed through the workshop. Tony’s arm was resting on the workbench; the instruments previously occupying the space were carelessly strewn all over the floor, adding to the chaos. 

Dummy was standing in front of the workbench like an eager executioner. He had a rapidly rotating buzz saw attached to his claw and stood perfectly still.

Somehow, it had become uncomfortably hot in the workshop. Tony’s hair was plastered to his forehead, slick with sweat. He wasn’t nervous, goddammit! Everything was gonna work out just fine!   
He drew in a shaky breath, plastered a grin on his face and stopped tapping his reactor. Instead, he used his left hand to grip the cast, holding it in place. 

“Sir, please!” JARVIS yelled over the noise, but Tony shook his head, his grin turning a tad manic. 

“Dummy! Do it!” he shouted and the bot brought the whirring saw down on Tony’s arm. 

Oh fuckfuckfuck, this was really happening! 

“Be careful or I’ll put a cast on your arm!” Tony nearly screamed, his voice strangely high-pitched. All he could hear was his rapid heartbeat. Shit. He’d die of a heart attack if Dummy didn’t somehow kill him first. 

Tony didn’t dare look down on his arm but screwed his eyes shut. His left hand had the cast in a death grip, but it was still being shaken by the buzz saw. 

“TONY! What the FUCK do you think you’re doing?” Steve shouted, outraged.   
“JARVIS, stop whatever this is immediately! Shit!” He strode over to Tony and grabbed him harshly. 

“Right away, Captain. Thank you so much for coming, sir wouldn’t see sense.” The AI sounded relieved beyond measure as he stopped Dummy and commanded him to return to his charging station. “I just hope you arrived before he had the chance to hurt himself.” 

What? Tony blinked at his arm stupidly. The cast was cracked and there wasn’t even blood. That was good. Then he raised his head and looked at Steve. Who was livid. Actually, he looked like he wanted to draw blood. Fuck. That was the angriest Tony had ever seen Steve. He really had fucked up royally this time. 

“…did you contact Steve behind my back, JARVIS?” Focus on the more important things. Like his treacherous AI. 

“I did not, sir, my loyalty lies with you and only with you. However, when Captain Rogers entered the building and inquired after your whereabouts, I informed him about the situation. Solely out of regard for his mental health, I assure you. The scene he walked into would give anyone nightmares for weeks.” JARVIS replied drily. “And because you enabled me to, sir. I cannot contact Captain Rogers on my own, but I may answer every question he asks if I deem it necessary. Which, no offense, sir, I did in this case. You provided Captain Rogers with the necessary rights, I did not act against orders.”

Well, anyway, he was screwed. 

“Look at me, Tony!” Steve commanded and Tony flinched and complied. “What the fuck were you thinking? Do you have a death wish? You could have lost your arm and bled to death down here and none of us would have known! Do you get that, Tony? I could have walked into your workshop only to see your corpse!” 

Tony shrugged a little awkwardly. “Well, yeah, sure, but you didn’t, did you? I mean, I’m fine, Dummy did good, everything’s still attached, all’s good.” 

Steve’s face turned a disconcerting shade of red and he looked like he wanted to punch Tony for his stupidity. And while he could somehow understand the urge, this exchange was becoming a bit too intense for his liking, he thought, and dropped his gaze to his feet again. 

“It was dumb luck and you know it.” Steve stated. His voice was frosty. “And the cast is not attached anymore, so guess what, genius? We’re going to SHIELD medical. This is going into your file. And I’m scheduling a meeting with a SHIELD psychologist for you. You gotta pass a psych eval before I let you back on the team. Endangering everyone without a care in the world. Fuck, Tony!” 

Tony opened his mouth to protest but faltered under Steve’s glare. “Anything else I need to know?”

“Mm…I’m sorry?” he tried, grinning bitterly and Steve actually closed his eyes and rubbed his temples, even though he couldn’t get a headache. Fuck. The grin died on Tony’s face. He hadn’t really felt it, anyway. 

“Did you pull any other great stunts?” 

“I installed the security system on the roof but after that I was bored.” He offered as kind of an explanation. His eyes had wandered up on Steve’s body and were now fixated on his beautiful, broad shoulders. Fuck. He wanted to rip the shirt right off him.   
Not helping right now. 

“JARVIS, what’s his blood alcohol content?” Steve was having none of his shit today, it seemed. And when had Steve got to know him so well? Fuck. He was so utterly fucked. And not in the way he wanted Steve to be fucking him. 

“Aw Steve, babe, do you really wanna go there? I’m good, look at me!” Holy fuck, this was venturing dangerously close to staging-an-intervention-territory! He did not need this! Ever! Fuck! 

“You’re deflecting. I know you, Tony. Sit down on the couch there” He motioned at the old, worn couch and started searching the workshop for something. “You got a scarf or something down here?” 

Tony leaned into the couch and let his head drop on the backrest. “Nat’s is somewhere there…” he pointed at the left corner of the room. “What d’you need it for? You can’t catch a cold, you’re a super soldier!” 

“To tie a sling, you idiot! Your arm is still broken, it’s just out of its cast now.” 

“Oh. Right.” He hadn’t considered this. But Steve was right. 

Steve sighed heavily. “Just how drunk are you?” 

To his shame, Tony had to consider this question. Too much honesty wouldn’t be the wisest course of action right now, but he couldn’t just downright lie to Steve, cause he’d know. Why the fuck did he always know? Anyway, point being, he did. So. Somewhere in between, then, and hope for the best.   
“Ah, y’know, I could build a new suit and I could give a press conference no problem. Browsing the stock market for a bit and making like another 10 million would be a piece of cake, too. Prolly wouldn’t fly the suit or drive a car, though, but not because I can’t, cause I totally can, I’m good, but because you wouldn’t like it and I aim to please.” He sat back up again and winked at Steve. 

“JARVIS, where’s the scarf?” The Cap just asked and Tony had the sinking feeling that his plan had backfired and Steve didn’t believe a single word. Fuck. 

“I believe it has fallen behind that shelf to your left, Captain.” 

And JARVIS was just talking to Steve as if nothing had happened. This was not boding well for Tony. 

“Okay, okay, I’m prolly a bit drunk, yeah, I know, but not so drunk that I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, it was a calculated risk, wanna see the numbers I had JARVIS run?” 

Steve shoved the shelf to the side roughly. The instruments, machine parts and half-finished projects on it wobbled dangerously, but nothing fell out. 

“No, I really don’t.” Steve had retrieved the scarf and sounded so thoroughly done that Tony was actually rendered speechless. Fuck it all. This was bad. 

He crouched down in front of Tony and tied a sling with practiced ease. “Put your arm in there and try not to move it too much. Can you walk or are we gonna have a repeat performance of that night a few weeks ago?” 

Okay, wow. Steve was being downright nasty. 

“I said I’m okay, Cap. You can ask JARVIS if you don’t trust me enough.” Now even Tony sounded pissed. What a lovely afternoon. 

“While the use of the word ‘okay’ may be debated, sir is right in claiming he is fully functional. He used to run Stark Industries on a much higher BAC.” JARVIS confirmed. 

Steve managed to look even more dismayed.   
“Great. Which car can I take?” 

This was a disaster. Things had been going so well with Steve, Tony had even admitted that he had something like feelings for the man, and now Steve hated him. And it was Tony’s own fault, of course. It always was, after all, he didn’t need anyone to fuck shit up for him, he could do that by himself just perfectly. Fuck. 

He cleared his throat. “I can just go up to Bruce and ask him to make me a new cast.” 

Steve just glared. 

“Or, or not, I guess, but I can just have Happy take me, you don’t have to go into SHIELD again” 

“I am taking responsibility as your team leader. I’ll be the one taking you. Now. Which car?” 

So now Tony was reduced to just being Steve’s responsibility because Steve was team leader? He probably deserved it, but ouch, that kinda hurt. 

He scoffed. “Pick one, team leader, what’s mine is yours.” 

“Don’t be a smartass, Tony!” Steve snarled back and made his way to the garage. He picked the nearest black SUV and got behind the wheel. Tony hurried after him and slouched down in the passenger seat. He reached up and pulled down a pair of violet tinted shades that he promptly put on. The way he was feeling right now he’d take any kind of protection there was, even if it was only in the form of sunglasses. 

Steve started the car and they drove in silence through the crowded streets of New York. The city was bustling with noise, but inside the car the silence stretched on. Tony briefly considered if that was what it was like if you had messed up so badly that your parents gave you the silent treatment. Probably. His parents had just ignored him most of the time anyway, even if he hadn’t done anything wrong. Maybe his existence alone had been fuck-up enough on his part. 

Woah. Venturing into dark territory there. 

“So…got any new intel in the briefing?” He asked finally to break the silence. Anything to distract himself from those morbid thoughts. Because really, what was he? Some emo teenager? Teenage-angst at his age was just pathetic! 

“Hm? Oh yeah, the terrorist are HYDRA alright. SHIELD has been observing them for time as well, we’re gonna strike soon. It’s a good thing Colonel Rhodes has a suit, he’s gonna be helping us. I wanted you to stand by and analyze their weapons from afar, but I’m thinking of reconsidering.” 

Ah great, another dead end. 

“What the fuck could I mess up from the tower? And, I mean, hello, I used to be the world’s most successful weapons manufacturer, if you need someone to analyze tech for you, you won’t find anyone better than me. I mean, the same applies to almost every field of science, but I actually got a history with weapons.” He fixated Steve through narrowed eyes. “Be a responsible team leader, Steve, and don’t let your personal feelings get mixed up with work.”

Steve drove into the parking garage of the office building next to SHIELD headquarters grinding his teeth. “You can be so infuriating.” He muttered – which was practical ‘Stop being such a little shit’ in Steve’s overly polite way of talking - and parked the car. “I won’t bring my personal feelings into this, I don’t trust you as part of the team right now, Tony. You’re not thinking straight and you can’t be trusted to make decisions of any sort like this.”

Tony opened his mouth to protest, but Steve cut him off. “You could have cut off your arm because you’re bored and impatient! You’re the smartest man I know, but lately you’ve been so stupid that I’m considering having you watched 24/7 just so you don’t end up accidentally killing yourself!” 

Steve was boiling with rage as they made their way over the street and to the inconspicuous entrance that looked just like every office building’s entrance. 

“First you break your arm, okay, things like that happen, but then everything just kept getting worse! I’m actually worried about you, Tony, because you deserve to be happy but with the way you’re living…” 

“What? What’s wrong with the way I’m living? And who says I’m not happy? I’m great, I’m awesome, I’m Iron Man! And Tony Stark! I’m the richest man alive and a superhero! I’ve got everything I want, Steve, and I got it because of the way I’m living!” Tony yelled back as they strode through the lobby and entered the elevator. “I am fucking happy!” 

Inside the elevator there were two other SHIELD agents who greeted Tony and Steve politely. Steve nodded at them and Tony ignored the completely. Both were fuming. 

“Right, you’re happy. And because you’re happy you’re drinking all the time and having panic attacks.” Steve muttered and Tony had a mean look on his face as he answered: “So you’re gonna schedule a session with your therapist, too? After all, you can’t even watch fucking Titanic!” 

That had been a low blow and Tony regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. Steve looked like he had been slapped and Tony was relieved when the elevator doors opened.   
He wasn’t relieved when they entered SHIELD medical, his least favorite place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I wanted this to be a happy, lighthearted story...


	16. Fucking stupid Steve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god you guys, thank you all so much for all the great comments! Last chapter's reception was overwhelming, I was grinning like an idiot for three days straight! Thank you! 
> 
> For this chapter I went a bit over board maybe. I hope you like it. 
> 
> I didn't revise it all that much since I'm away from home for work for a few days again. 
> 
> Still. Enjoy.

Everything about SHIELD medical was somehow dulled. The walls were white and dull, the halls were silent save for some distant beeping and hushed voices and even the doctors and nurses wore dull white clothes and ghosted from room to room without making much noise. To make it even more eerie, even the usually strong smell of disinfectants that was associated with hospitals was dulled.

It was creepy as fuck. Tony hated it. 

Unfortunately, the medical tract didn’t seem to have the same dulling effect on Steve next to him. The man was still radiating anger, his fists were clenched at his sides and he didn’t so much as glance at Tony. 

Tony hated himself a bit. That bit about Titanic had been nasty. 

Meanwhile Steve was walking over to the reception desk with a determination that Tony wasn’t quite feeling. He would have preferred to turn around and run. Well. 

The nurse sitting at the desk was a young man who seemed to know Steve. He looked up from his computer and gave him a dull smile. Were they all on fucking benzos down here or something? If they were, he wanted in.

“Captain Rogers, what can I do for you?” he asked in a pleasant voice and some of the strain left Steve’s shoulders. He still looked mad, though. 

“Oliver, sorry to bother you. Is Dr. Gupta around?” 

Ah, Oliver. Steve even knew his fucking name! Fucking drugged-up SHIELD nurse! Didn’t help that the guy didn’t look half bad with his curly red hair and pale blue eyes. Shit. 

The nurse – Oliver! – typed something and nodded. “He’s here. Do you want me to page him?” His eyes met Tony’s for the first time and he blinked. “Did something happen? Are you injured, Mr. Stark?”

The guy knew who he was! But then again, he was Tony Stark, every fucking person in New York City knew who he was. And of course everyone working with SHIELD knew. So. No surprise. Oliver the nurse probably wasn’t a bad guy anyway, just someone doing his job. 

“Me? Nah, I’m fine, it’s nothing…” Tony answered with a sleazy grin and Steve actually growled. Like…like some hungry hyena or something. Um. Yeah. He growled! 

And whipped around. “Are you fucking kidding me, Stark? You’re not fucking fine and it’s not nothing! I don’t believe you! Is this all some kinda joke to you? Because it’s not funny!”

“Oh, last names now, Rogers? Really? And really, I’m not surprised you don’t find it funny, you’re the most stuck-up person I’ve ever met! Your sense of humor sucks even more than that of Justin Hammer!” Tony shot back. God, what the fuck? Oliver got called by his first name and Tony was suddenly back to being Stark? “Who do you think you are anyway, Cap? My dad?”

“Ah, this seems to be my cue. Gentlemen, will you please calm down? This is a hospital, we’ve got patients trying to rest down here.” A lab coat wearing man in his mid-fifties interrupted them. He had a vaguely Indian look about him. Dr. Gupta most likely. Tony had a feeling that they’d met before. It was a foreboding feeling. 

He approached them and Oliver the nurse exhaled audibly. Well. The guy had probably feared for his life. It wasn’t everyday that you got two superheroes having a shouting match in front of your desk. 

Steve seemed to become painfully aware of his surroundings as well. He unclenched his hands and turned to the doctor. “Dr. Gupta! I am so sorry, I don’t know what came over me, I…sorry!” 

Dr. Gupta just shrugged nonchalantly. “I do.” He answered and his eyes flicked to Tony. “Mr. Stark. To what do I owe this questionable honor? I dimly recall an occasion not too long ago when you told me to get my ‘dirty, SHIELD-contaminated hands’ off you and ‘fuck off to Fury or something’.” 

Ah, yes. The memory was coming back to Tony. This was awkward. 

“You also said you’d sue me if I touched you again.” 

Steve groaned in obvious second-hand embarrassment. 

Tony just raised his eyebrows. “Don’t flatter yourself, doc, that’s like my form of greeting, I treat all of you SHIELD guys like that. ‘cept for Natasha, cause she’s scary.” 

“Let’s go to my office.” Dr. Gupta suggested and nodded at Oliver. “Thank you, I’ll handle it.” 

Steve and Tony followed the doctor down the white, quiet, smell-less corridor and took a left turn. They entered the equally sterile examination room and Tony wanted to scream. Or jump out of the window. There was no window. They were underground. Fuck. Fucking stupid SHIELD headquarters! 

“Take a seat.” He offered and dropped down on the chair behind the desk. 

Steve and Tony sat down next to each other and Tony promptly moved his chair as far away from Steve as possible.   
Steve scoffed in response and muttered “Petty” under his breath.   
Tony determinedly didn’t care. 

“So. What brings you here?” 

“He brought me here.” Tony replied motioning at Steve without actually looking at him. 

“Damn right I did. Tony got his right arm broken nearly three weeks ago and has been wearing a cast since then. But when I got home from the latest briefing just now, his butler informed me that he was in the process of getting rid of the cast. By having his clumsy robot cut it open with a buzz saw! While he was alone in his workshop! And drunk!” 

“Goddammit, I’m not even drunk! And I had it under control! I got a shitload of PhD’s, for fuck’s sake! Nothing could’ve gone wrong!” Tony yelled back. This time he even looked at Steve who was turning red again. His eyes were blazing and his pupils were pinpoint. He looked positively murderous. And hot.

“You’re not a medical doctor, Tony! And even if you were, it’s three weeks too early to take off the cast!” Steve shot back. 

Tony laughed, once. “Easy for you to say, it’s not like you can get your fucking bones broken! It’s a nuisance and I’m fine! I don’t need to be bandaged up!” 

“I think I’ll be the one to decide that.” Dr. Gupta cut in, his voice calm but stern. Immediately, Steve and Tony stopped yelling. He was just a lowly SHIELD slave, but there was something about the doctor that made Tony listen to him…  
“Thank you. Well, where were we? Mr. Stark, why don’t you tell me what happened?” 

Ah, damn. He knew it had been a stupid fucking idea. 

“Ah, y’know, everyone was at the briefing, ‘cept for me, of course, cause I got my arm broken so obviously that means that my brain is damaged now, too. So, everyone was gone and I had just set up a new security system for the roof and there was nothing else to do and I was fine, so I decided to get rid of the fucking cast since I don’t need it anymore. I calculated the angle and everything and gave my bot clear instructions. Nothing coulda gone wrong.”

“You’re lying!” Steve exclaimed, stunned. Tony winced. Because, yeah, fuck, of course he was, but why did Steve know?   
“You simply doodled a line down the cast, I saw it. And Dummy didn’t even cut down the line. You’re lucky you’ve still got your arm!” 

Dr. Gupta sighed. “Is that true?” 

Maybe he should just admit defeat. This was becoming kinda stressful. Not to mention he really needed a drink right now. Fuck, it was a good thing he was so high-functioning when drunk. 

Tony shrugged, not meeting anyone’s eye. “Alright, yeah, yeah, it was stupid and reckless of me and I didn’t think. Happy? That what you wanted to hear?” He sneered and Steve took a deep breath through his nose. Tony didn’t like this, he wanted to go home and lock himself in the workshop until all of it blew over or until he really was allowed to get rid of the fucking cast. 

“So you didn’t make any calculations?” the doctor asked. Surprisingly, he still sounded patient. 

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” He felt like blowing something up. “No, I didn’t calculate a goddamn thing! But it’s not like anything happened, so can we please stop making such a fucking big thing out of it? I’m fine! You came to my rescue, Steve! The day is saved! Now fuck off!” 

Dr. Gupta cleared his throat. “Your arm is most likely still fractured, though. We need to make an x-ray to make sure you didn’t cause any additional damage. And then you’ll get a new cast, of course.” 

“And I’m scheduling a psych eval for him.” Steve interjected, voice tight. 

Tony groaned loudly in an obnoxious, exaggerated fashion. “Stop with the shit already.”

“No, you stop with the shit, Tony. Get your act together and you can be back on the team. For now, you’re benched. For real this time.” He turned completely away from Tony and towards Dr. Gupta, dismissing Tony’s opinion completely. “Doctor, schedule an appointment with a therapist for him as well.” 

And Tony vaguely felt like he had when he’d been seven years old and his father had dropped him off at a psychiatric clinic for the first time. “Just find out what the fuck’s wrong with him and fix it. My wife is freaking out and I don’t have any use for a socially inept son. Just make him more normal, like the other kids. I’ll pay any sum you ask of me.” And thus had begun his long journey from psychologist to psychologist. Once he’d hit his teens, psychiatrists had joined the party and he’d been drugged up nicely. And there’d been diagnoses, every diagnose known to man, to explain why he was the way he was. It had never been enough to satisfy Howard, of course, who at some point had simply decided that Tony had been damaged goods from the very start and had stopped caring completely by the time Tony finished high school and got accepted into MIT. Which was around the time Tony had OD’ed the first time. And the second and third. 

“Mr. Stark? Are you with us?” Tony’s brain registered Dr. Gupta’s voice and he jerked awake, out of his daydream and the depressing childhood memories. Fuck. What had he missed? Fucking daddy issues! 

He blinked a couple times and decidedly didn’t look at Steve. Shit. “Yeah, yeah I’m here, doc.” He supplied at last, his voice not really steady. “I don’t want a therapist.”   
Ah, fuck, he shouldn’t have said that. 

Next to him in the uncomfortable hospital chair – apparently even SHIELD had standard hospital furniture, cheap fuckers – Steve furrowed his brow and opened his mouth. “This is exactly what I’m talking about! Tony, I don’t wanna punish you or anything, I wanna help you! Because your behavior has been concerning lately and it’s not only me that’s concerned.” 

Yeah, no, he really didn’t wanna hear this. And he didn’t need Steve’s earnest and exasperated look. Nope. “You said something about an x-ray, doc?” He asked instead. It was a weak deflection, but the doctor took pity on him or something, because he got up and beckoned Tony to follow him to the next room.

This was so fucked up, Tony thought, while lowering his right arm on the examination table. It was started to hurt faintly. Steve wasn’t Howard and he was freaking out about nothing. Well. Not nothing. He’d just officially been kicked off the team. That sucked. Not that it was the first time it had happened. But still. He still had Stark Industries and the tower and the suit and yeah, pretty much everything. He just didn’t have permission to get himself blown up for the greater good anymore, but when had that ever managed to stop him? He was Tony Stark, he did what he liked. Whatever he liked, no matter if Steve Rogers happened to like it. Actually, especially if Steve disagreed with it. Which wasn’t petty or pathetic or anything, Tony was a grown man. And he didn’t care about Steve fucking Rogers one bit, nope. Steve could shove his opinions on Tony up his ass.

“Are you experiencing pain, Mr. Stark?” the doctor asked when the scan was finished, and he was still weirdly professional as if Tony wasn’t who he was and hadn’t threatened to sue the man before. It was unsettling to say the least. 

Tony simply lifted his shoulders again. Yeah, he fucking was and it was getting worse, but he wouldn’t disclose that to the doc and much less to Steve who could undoubtedly hear every word that was being spoken because of his fucking enhanced senses!   
“It’s not too bad, no worries, I’m good. And I prolly shouldn’t be taking any painkillers now anyway, I’m uh, not actually sober and I’m not sure how well I’d take it. Like, I’m not drunk or anything, but we don’t need to risk shit. So. Everything’s peachy, thanks for asking.”

Maybe Dr. Gupta wasn’t being professional, maybe he genuinely didn’t care about Tony’s health. Because he simply nodded and walked back to the office and resumed his seat behind the desk. Tony felt slightly befuddled, but dragged his feet after the doc. 

“Alright. The bone is still fractured, but mending. You didn’t aggravate it too much, no additional damage was caused. You were very lucky, Mr. Stark.” He said seriously as he showed the scan to Steve and Tony. “Come see me in three weeks to remove the cast. Schedule an appointment with Oliver when you leave. Oh, and an appointment with Dr. Miller if you’ve got the time.” 

“He does” Steve interrupted immediately. Ah, so Dr. Miller was the therapist. Good to know. Not. “He’s on sick leave, benched and he can’t build with his arm like this. So he’s got more than enough time.” 

“Ah Steve, thanks for managing my life, didn’t know you were my new PA! Good for you, how d’you like it so far?” Tony asked bitterly. He seriously felt more as if Steve was behaving like a parent, but he didn’t wanna dwell on that one for too long. 

“Don’t be difficult!” Steve shot back, his brows still drawn together, his whole body radiating anger and tension. His muscles were straining against- oh! Fuck. He was still wearing the sinful uniform and Tony hadn’t noticed till now. Shit. He was hit full force with the realization and just Steve’s general beauty and felt his face heat up. Nope. Not needed right now! He was mad at Steve, for fuck’s sake!  
“Give the therapist a chance, maybe the two of you hit off and you’ll feel better. You can’t tell me that you enjoy going through a panic attack first thing in the morning.” 

Tony wanted to reply something about having it under control and not being bothered by the…uh…situation one bit, but again the doc came to his rescue. 

“It’s your decision to make, Mr. Stark. She’s a highly competent therapist and whatever the two of you discuss would of course be treated with utmost confidentiality and the highest security code. All our psychologists have signed a non-disclosure agreement, so no word of your sessions would get out. She’s got clearance to clear agents for the field as well, so you wouldn’t need a separate evaluation. Think about it while I fix your new cast.” 

He couldn’t even retaliate with some kinda bullshit after such a calmly delivered statement that made so much sense. Why had he antagonized this doctor before? The man really actually was kinda alright. For a doctor. And a SHIELD employee.   
Tony still didn’t like the fact that he was getting a new cast, though. 

Five minutes later he was bandaged up nicely. He’d even gotten a real sling and his arm was now fixated against his torso. It was nearly enough to make him cry. Or scream profanities. 

“Do you have any more questions, Mr. Stark? Captain Rogers?” Dr. Gupta asked after he was done and shit, but the good doctor suddenly looked tired as fuck. Was that the effect he had on other people? He knew he was an annoying piece of shit, but he hadn’t known that it was quite that bad.   
The doctor yawned and rubbed at his eyes. “I’m sorry, I’ve been working for nearly 20 hours, we had an emergency last night.” Which probably meant some government had been overthrown or something. 

“Nah, I’m good. Thanks for, uh, patching me up, doc. I won’t sue you, you’re okay. Get some sleep.” 

Steve got up and shook Dr. Gupta’s hand. “Yes, thank you very much, doctor. I’ll make sure Tony doesn’t forget about the appointments.” 

The doctor nodded and even spared them a tired smile. “I’m here to help” he replied shrugging and walked them to the door. Apparently he didn’t think Tony was an annoying piece of shit. That was a new one. 

Tony followed Steve down the corridor back to Oliver’s desk. Not because he wanted to watch Steve’s ass, of course, because he was still furious with the man and the skintight uniform didn’t change anything about that. Nope. Not a damn thing.   
Why did Steve have to be so fucking hot? 

They reached the desk and Oliver looked up expectantly. Tony cleared his throat. Might as well get it over with.   
“Hi, so I, uh, I need another appointment with Dr. Gupta, roughly three weeks from here.” 

The nurse nodded, a bland smile on his face. “Of course. Does Thursday work for you?” he asked while clicking around. 

Tony shrugged. “Yeah, sure, thanks.” 

“Anything else I can do for you?” 

Tony felt a wave of dread wash over him. It wasn’t that he was scared of therapists or anything, he was pretty much fucking desensitized by now. It was more that he was afraid he’d start taking to this Dr. Miller for real. About feelings and shit. Because he was just that done. And he didn’t even know her! 

Steve coughed and shot Tony a pointed look. Fucker. 

“Oh, fuck it all!” he exclaimed. “Yeah, schedule a fucking appointment with Dr. Miller as well!” 

Oliver’s face didn’t betray a single emotion. He simply nodded. “She will contact you as soon as possible. May I pass your contact on to her?” 

“Whatever, man…” Tony surrendered and scrawled his private number on the notepad on the desk. The numbers looked slightly awkward, but they were legible. Whatever. 

“Thank you. Get well soon, Mr. Stark. Bye, Captain.” 

Steve bid the guy farewell and Tony walked out of medical as soon as he could. He didn’t wait up for Steve and reached the car before the Captain. Whatever. He wanted to go home. And he wanted to cause Steve bodily harm.

The tension in the car was tangible. Steve sat down behind the wheel again and Tony glared at him. There was a crease between Steve’s eyebrows. Neither man spoke a word. By the time they reached the tower, Tony’s jaw hurt from clenching his teeth and Steve looked as if he’d go to the gym to punch some inanimate objects first thing. 

They entered the elevator and Steve turned towards Tony.   
“Tony…” he started. 

“Steve.” Tony mimicked, mouth curled up in a mean sneer. 

“Tony! Fuck!” Steve exclaimed loudly and grabbed Tony’s left arm. He raised it over Tony’s head and pushed Tony into the elevator wall. 

Tony’s breath hitched. Was this happening? 

He leaned forward, his eyes meeting Steve’s. Cap was still glaring, anger evident in his whole posture. His hold on Tony’s wrist tightened and Tony bridged the last bit of distance. His lips met Steve’s in a clash, too fast and too rough and too uncoordinated. Their teeth crashed against each other and Tony bit down on Steve’s bottom lip, hard, wanting to cause pain. Steve moaned and buried his other hand deep in Tony’s hair, pulling him closer harshly. Tony opened his mouth and licked over Steve’s damaged lip before deepening the kiss. Moaning even more, Steve tugged on Tony’s hair and opened his mouth. Backed into the wall, Tony couldn’t do anything but answer the kiss. It wasn’t a sweet kiss, not one of those he’d read about in sappy romance story, but a kiss full of need and want and desperation and rage. When they broke apart, both Steve and Tony were panting. 

“JARIVS, stop the elevator” Tony croaked hoarsely and dug his teeth into Steve’s lip again. 

“I already did two minutes ago, sir. I deemed it safer.” Came the dry reply and Steve groaned. Tony wasn’t sure if in exasperation or pleasure. Because damn, he was pleased. He was still fucking furious with Cap, but this was glorious! Fuck! Steve was so hot like this, tussled hair, flushed cheeks and red, swollen lips. He was even wearing the goddamn uniform - it was a wet dream come true. And with the way Steve’s fingernails were scraping over Tony’s scalp it wouldn’t stay a dream much longer. 

“Fuck, Steve!” he ground out when he broke the kiss to catch a breath. The hold on his wrist had loosened and he managed to break free. With his arm back at his disposal, Tony slammed Steve into the opposite wall and started working on the uniform, mouth still locked with Steve’s. Fuck! The fucking uniform was harder to open than it looked. 

“Dammit, Tony,” Steve gasped, “you’re infuriating!” 

“So are you, boss!” Tony shot back and pulled the top down over Steve’s broad shoulders. There was already a thing layer of sweat on the muscled arms and when Steve reached down to take Tony’s shirt off his muscles flexed beautifully. All things considered, it was just about the hottest thing he had ever seen. 

“I’m fucking mad at you!” Tony panted breathlessly as his hand trailed down, over the nicely sculpted torso. 

Steve ripped the sling open und pulled Tony’s shirt over his head in one fluid motion. “Oh, you’ve got no idea how mad I am!” 

“You’re insufferable!” Tony wheezed as he reached Steve’s happy trail. Fuck. His jeans were seriously constricting, they were cutting off vital functions. Tony moaned. 

“Don’t get me started on you…” Steve moaned, his breath hitching as Tony’s fingers entered his briefs. He unbuttoned Tony’s jeans and pulled them down. They pooled down by his feet, leaving Tony standing in his boxers. Freedom, finally! 

He reached down into Steve’s pants, his fingers ghosting over his balls playfully. The result was a needy noise and Steve who pressed his body even closer to Tony’s. They were touching now, nothing but thin fabric between them, and they were both so hopelessly hard. Fuck.   
Tony broke the kiss eliciting another desperate noise from Steve and started biting into his shoulder. Then he worked his way downwards, leaving little bite-marks all over Steve who squirmed deliciously underneath him. It was torture of the worst kind and Tony was loving every second of it. He was also desperate for release. 

“Bed?” he asked and looked up at Steve. The Captain looked already halfway over the edge and Tony closed his hand around Steve’s erection. That got his attention as well as a guttural noise of protest. 

“I-I need…” Steve stammered and Tony started moving his hand back and forth slowly. 

“J, penthouse. Max the security, I don’t want any surprise visitors” was as far as he got before Steve’s hand trailed down into Tony’s pants and found his cock. The elevator rushed upwards at breakneck speed and Tony was panting heavily.   
“Not yet” he ground out, “I want you inside me” 

Steve moaned, his cock already slick with precum and seriously, neither of them would last long. They wouldn’t even make it to the damn bed. 

Apparently Steve had reached the same conclusion because he pulled down Tony’s boxers roughly and positioned himself at Tony’s entrance. Tony whimpered. This was gonna hurt.   
Steve grabbed Tony’s shoulders and dug his fingers into them. Slowly but surely he pushed his slick dick into Tony and damn, he wasn’t doing this for the first time! Tony couldn’t suppress a pathetic whimper at the sensation, but then Steve let go of his shoulders and wrapped his hand around his cock. And fuck it all, this was the best feeling ever. Steve in him, causing blissful pain, Steve’s sweaty, muscular body behind him and Steve’s hand wrapped around his cock.   
Steve’s thumb swirled over the tip of Tony’s cock while he quickened his pace, leaving Tony a panting mess. He could feel his orgasm building up and judging by Steve’s ragged breathing and his merciless thrust, the Cap wasn’t far anymore either. 

“Fuck!” Tony moaned and came, fast and hard, into Steve’s hand and all over the elevator. Oh god. It was all his teenage fantasies come true.   
Behind him, Steve pulled in a deep breath and bit down on Tony’s neck with one last thrust.   
Then they collapsed against the elevator wall, panting and sweating, utterly exhausted. 

Oh fuck, yeah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh, I hope I didn't screw it up. Opinions?


	17. Fucking stupid security

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments on the last chapter, guys, I uploaded it from my hotel room while my colleague was in the shower, it was actually hilarious. I wrote the elevator scene with her in the room!
> 
> I had to split this chapter up, it was getting too long. You'll get part two some time this week, I promise.
> 
> Also you should totally check out [A Terrible Privilege](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3525350/chapters/7754006), beautiful angst-filled Steve/Tony story written by my bestie!

The aftermath found them sprawled out on Tony’s enormous bed, the comfy sheets covering their gradually cooling bodies. Tony was resting his head on Steve’s chest and ran his fingers over the defined muscles. Steve had his hand buried in Tony’s hair and was stroking it absently. He wore a fond smile on his face and his cheeks were still glowing. All in all, he looked ridiculously happy and satisfied, the doofus. He looked just about as perfect as Tony could imagine a man to look with his broad shoulders, the gentle artist hands, his tussled hair and the little bite marks Tony had left all over his body. Damn. Steve was really fucking hot! 

Which was why they had fucked. In his private elevator. Oh fuck. He’d had sex with Steve! For real! With Captain America! His dad’s friend! His team captain! In the fucking elevator! 

“Steve, you alright…?” he asked hesitantly after a few moments and Steve’s hand stopped momentarily before resuming the gentle caressing. He hummed in agreement before stopping again. He propped himself up on his elbows and Ton slid down his chest. Oh fuck. What now? He rolled to the side and looked up at Steve. 

“I’m more than alright, I’m great.” He replied with a half-smile. “I’m still mad at you, though, Tony. And you’re not back on the team!”

Tony actually laughed at that and waved his left hand around in a gesture that hopefully communicated nonchalance. “I hope so, can’t have a corrupt team leader after all, where’d we end up at if you just tolerated all my shit?” He winked at Steve and let his eyes trail over Steve’s uncovered body. “Besides, I like you angry” he grinned and Steve dropped his gaze with an unintelligible mumble. 

He lay back down and Tony resumed his position on Steve’s chest.  
“Are you alright, though? I didn’t hurt you?” Concern was evident in Steve’s voice, but Tony just chuckled lightly.  
“Except for the fact that I’m subtly freaking out about the fact that we just screwed in my elevator and that you’re Captain America and we just had sex I’m awesome. You hurt me alright but it was the right kinda hurt, y’know?” Tony was feeling brave at the moment. 

Steve pulled Tony up so that his head was resting on Steve’s shoulder and wrapped an arm around Tony. “You’re not being very subtle, Tony, you never are. I’m also freaking out a bit right now, though, to be honest…” he whispered into Tony’s hair and Tony felt his heart constrict painfully. Poor Steve sounded so young and insecure. Had he taken advantage of him?  
“…but I don’t regret it, so.” He shrugged once and the smile returned. Tony took a deep breath and willed his heart to stop beating so fast. 

“Let’s just freak out tomorrow and sleep for now?” he suggested quietly and Steve nodded. “Good night, Tony. You’re amazing.” And shit, but wasn’t that just the worst, most incorrect thing that could be said about him? Amazing? What had he done to Steve?  
Tony swallowed and muttered. “You too, boss.” 

He hoped for a nightmare-free night. 

When he awoke, all he could remember were some jumbled up images, bordering on psychedelic. There had been something about Howard, but as soon as he tried to focus on it, the memory was gone. Well. Probably for the better. 

He pried his eyes open painfully. Fuck. He was exhausted! Why the fuck had he woken up? Tony blinked a few times and proceeded to scan the room. Ah. Yes. That explained it. 

In front of the bed, Steve was just in the process of putting on some clothes. Tony had had some in Steve’s size delivered and stored for him in case they’d make their sleepovers a regular thing. Well. Things weren’t looking too bad on that front.  
Tony watched shamelessly as Steve bend down to get a pair of briefs out of the cupboard. His eyes trailed down Steve’s perfectly formed ass and then back up again to the beautiful, masculine back where the muscles were shifting. Then Steve put a white shirt on and Tony made a noise of distress. 

Immediately, Steve whipped around, clearly alarmed. When he recognized Tony, his features softened and broke into a smile, though. And Tony couldn’t help but smile back like the idiot he was. 

“Enjoying the view?” 

“Ah, Captain, it’s quite a nice view. I am but a simple man.” Tony shrugged and Steve broke into laughter. He put on the dark blue jeans Tony had supplied and damn, the casual look suited him. Not really a big surprise there, Steve could probably wear a yellow parker and look hot as fuck. 

“If there’s one thing you’re not, Tony, it’s a simple man. Thanks for the clothes, by the way.” 

“Anything for you, sugarplum.” Tony grinned. “As much as it pains me to say it, though, you should really consider wearing a hoodie or a cardigan or something today. Y’know, something that covers your glorious chest and shoulders? Unless you want all of the Avengers to have a go at you, and judging by what I know about you, you’d be really uncomfortable and embarrassed and I’d have to save the day and god knows everything’s lost when it’s come to that.” 

A soft pink blush colored Steve’s cheeks as he checked his chest and shoulder region in the mirror. He coughed once, clearly embarrassed already and Tony couldn’t suppress a chuckle.  
In the end, Steve decided on a grey cashmere long sleeve that was a deliciously tight fit and covered all of Tony’s marks nicely. 

Tony simply put on sweatpants and a Captain America hoodie, much to Steve’s amusement. 

“J, anything I should know about?” Tony asked before following Steve to breakfast. 

“Good morning, sir. The elevator has been cleaned and all video footage has been transferred to your securest server.” 

“Ah, right. Thanks, good thinking, JARVIS!” 

“Someone needs to take care of you, sir.” The AI responded with a certain note of fondness in his voice. 

Tony entered the blissfully clean elevator. “The rest all at breakfast?” 

“Indeed. All of the Avengers are currently in the communal kitchen. Captain Rogers has just joined them and is in the process of making waffles.”

“Waffles, fuck yeah! Thanks, J!” 

The elevator stopped and Tony sauntered towards the kitchen table. 

The scene was pretty much the same as the day before.  
Everyone but Steve was seated at the table in different states of being clothed.  
Clint wasn’t wearing anything but worn, threadbare sweatpants that hung low on his hips. He looked half asleep with his drooping eyes, the dark circles underneath them and the short stubble on his cheeks and had a huge mug of coffee in front of him. Bad day? Thor’s coffee cup was even bigger, but he looked as awake and content as usual. He was also wearing more of his lumberjack getup; apparently it was his favorite Midgardian style. Whatever, who was Tony to judge? Clint and Thor were laughing about something on the StarkPad in front of them. Clint’s laugh sounded hoarse and Tony caught Natasha sneaking a worried glance at him. Huh, interesting. As soon as he’d caught her looking, her eyes snapped up at him. 

“Morning, guys!” he exclaimed and gave the team a short wave before dropping down on the chair between Bruce and Natasha. 

Bruce immediately turned towards him. “How are you, Tony? JARVIS alerted us when we returned from the briefing last night and Steve rushed to you, but we didn’t hear anything else. Couldn’t you have called or sent a quick text? I was worried that you’d have had to stay at the hospital over night!” 

Oops. Tony hadn’t considered that. Apparently, neither had Steve who walked over to them with two plates in his hands. 

“Shit, sorry Bruce, I didn’t…I wasn’t thinking. I’m good, though, everything’s good.” 

Natasha raised an eyebrow at Steve but scooted over so that he could sit next to Tony. He wore an expression of mortification and started wringing his hands as soon as he had set the plates down. Well. Talk about heat of the moment. Tony had to suppress a fit of giggles when he thought about how Steve would get out of this one. 

The Cap was actually blushing and evading his teammates’ eyes. Suspicious, Steve! He cleared his throat and murmured, sounding lost: “I simply…forgot. It was late when we got back and I was just so angry at Tony and we ended up screaming at each other and then we, uh, talked about it and it got even later and I honestly forgot about you guys. I am so sorry, this is really uncomfortable.” 

Clint barked out a throaty laugh and Bruce gave Steve and Tony a disbelieving look to which Tony responded with an innocent smile and a shrug. This was fun! Riling Steve up was fun. 

“He’s benched for an unspecified amount of time, by the way.” Cap added and nope, this wasn’t fun, this was bullying! “He’s gotta pass a psych eval, we don’t need people willing to cut their arms off because of their impatience on the team.” 

Clint threw Tony a sympathetic glance at that and Thor nodded gravely. 

“Say, friend Tony, why did you submit yourself to danger so needlessly? Surely it wasn’t just impatience as the Captain claims?” Thor’s eyes were huge and blue and pleading in his face and seemed to scream something along the lines of ‘You’re a fucking idiot! You made me worry! And I’m the most trustworthy person ever! Tell me you’re not actually that stupid and careless?’ at Tony. Ouch. 

Tony opted for a sarcastic grin. “Well, I’m volatile, self-obsessed and don’t play well with others anyway, what did you expect?” 

There was a tch-sound from next to him and Natasha rolled her eyes. “That was when you were actively dying, Stark. My new assessment of you is that you’re just a drama queen. And you take unnecessary risks, but that shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone.” 

The team responded by shaking their heads, even Thor. Tony felt as if he was being humored. 

“Pff, whatever, you guys all suck. I even acknowledged that I made a mistake, publicly, and this is how you repay me? That hurts, guys, seriously, stabs in my little, artificially powered heart, I tell ya- mmmpf!” His whining was interrupted by Steve stuffing a forkful of waffle into Tony’s mouth, cutting him off effectively.  
He chewed and swallowed before yelling “Not fair!” at Steve, who raised his eyebrows and put on his best placating smile as if to say ‘Who, me?’.  
“Only making sure you’re taken care of, dear.” He all but purred and offered Tony another piece of waffle. Clint looked horrified and Tony could see Bruce connecting the dots. Still, he licked his lips and smiled in return. “Aw, babe, that’s so sweet of you!” 

“Guys, you gonna do that every morning now?” Clint muttered, still shocked, and Thor started pounding on his back. “Fear not, Clint! The brave Captain and the Man of Iron share a more profound bond! This public display of affection is not uncommon for you Midgardian folk, it is simply that the Lady Natasha prefers to abstain from it. Maybe you may address it with her?” 

This caused the table to gasp collectively, Clint’s face to fall completely and Natasha to raise one perfect eyebrow at Thor pointedly. 

“Have I offended you, my lady?” Thor asked, immediately concerned that he might have missed some custom. Poor guy. He’d just unknowingly made an enemy of Natasha. Tony didn’t envy him. 

Surprisingly it was Bruce who spoke up. “Thor, a lot of people are not comfortable with showing affection in front of others. It’s something intimate and revealing and not everyone likes it. We live together, sure, but we’re also colleagues and need to be professional around each other.” With a sidelong glance at Tony he added. “Or at least some of us like to be. So if Natasha and Clint aren’t behaving like Jane and you are when you’re outside it doesn’t have to mean anything, alright?” He smiled softly. “They’ve lived most of their life actively hiding their emotions because it was part of their job.” 

Thor screwed up his face in thought and nodded slowly. “Right, doctor, you make a valid point. And yet I cannot help but see that something is in disarray with the Lady Natasha and our brave archer. I do not want to impose, I wish only the best for my friends.” 

Thor had balls of steels, apparently. Wow.  
Clint was actively evading Natasha’s gaze now and Nat’s body language was screaming tension even to the untrained eye. 

Then the alarm broke out. 

Everyone was on their feet in a split second, eyes on Tony. Who raised his arms in a gesture of surrender.  
“I didn’t do anything, I was with you guys the whole time, I swear! It’s the new security system I installed on the roof, it’s to keep people from falling off, paralyzes them and sounds an alarm so that someone can go up and help…however” he raised an eyebrow and counted the Avengers in the room, “we’re all here. Which leaves a very interesting question: who’s up on the roof and why did they get close to the edge? Did someone go through all the trouble of getting into my tower only to jump off it? Seems counterproductive somehow…wanna go great our mystery visitor?” 

Thor grabbed his hammer and Natasha slid a handgun over to Clint without so much as a word. Bruce sighed and ran a hand over his face. So much commotion this early in the morning. 

Steve led the way to the elevator, a grim determination on his face. Tony suspected he was the only on who was heaving fun. 

“You stay behind me, got it?” Steve hissed at him and Tony blinked stupidly. “You’re vulnerable and wounded right now and I don’t want you to get hurt even more.” 

“Aw honey, you’re my hero. I swear I’ll be good!” Tony sing-songed and ran his fingernails over Steve’s back in a way that made the Cap shiver and Tony snicker.  
Screw what the rest of the team thought, this was awesome!

“JARVIS, don’t spoil our surprise, just tell us if the mystery visitor is hostile, can you do that?” It still amazed Tony how completely the rest of the Avengers forgot about JARVIS’ existence at times. 

“This is not a game, Tony!” Natasha ground out between locked teeth and Tony winked at her. 

“Sir. The person on the roof is categorized as ‘not hostile’. They are also paralyzed and not a threat at the moment.” Came the reply Tony had been hoping for. He nodded. “Thanks, J!” 

The elevator opened and Tony was out before anyone else, ignoring Steve’s shout of protest. He bounced onto the roof and saw “…what the fuck? Is that…?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's the mystery visitor? 
> 
> There'll also be more plot coming...


	18. Fucking stupid team dynamics

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end of this story is near and so is the end of my brief vacation. Let's hope I'll be able to finish the story before classes start getting intense...
> 
> Enjoy!

“Aw, no, Spidey…” Clint muttered behind him and yawned loudly. 

“What. The fuck. Is Spiderman doing on my roof?” 

It was true. Near the edge of the roof Spiderman was lying, unmistakable with his red spandex suit. He was a scrawny kid and he was very much knocked out cold. 

“You got an antidote or some shit, Tony? Poor kid didn’t do anything wrong.” Clint walked over to Spiderman, gun tucked into the waistband of his sweatpants, and crouched down next to him. He looked a bit concerned. Interesting. 

Tony walked over to him as well and poked Clint’s shoulder. “You, birdy! What do you have to do with Spidey over here? And Jesus, I didn’t poison the kid, I’m not big on poisoning, who do you think I am, Barton? It’s a modified version of my sonic taser, much weaker than the prototype, doesn’t leave any lasting harm, the paralysis only lasts for five minutes. He should be coming around any second now. And then he can tell us what he was doing on my roof in the first place, I mean, this is private property, just cause he thinks he’s some kinda superhero doesn’t mean he can just hang around here. Literally.”

“I do not understand” Thor confessed, looking forlorn. “Who is this costumed boy?” 

As if on cue, Spiderman’s whole body convulsed and he took several rapid breaths. “What the fuck, guys? What was that? Shit! Clint, why didn’t you warn me? Not cool, bro, not cool!” He jumped up, his body vibrating with nervous energy. Then he started pacing the roof while all of the Avengers minus Clint stared at him in disbelief.   
“I guess I’m supposed to introduce myself then? Hi, I’m Spiderman, your friendly neighborhood spider! I like to chill on this rooftop cause I can see the whole city from here and the bad guys leave me alone when I’m on the” he made a dramatic gesture, “Avengers Tower!” He chuckled. “Never been stunned before, though, what’s that about?” He balanced his weight on his heels and whipped back and forth. It was nauseating to watch. 

“You alright, kid?” Clint asked and Spiderman stopped the fidgeting. 

“Little overwhelmed right now, didn’t expect to meet the whole gang. I’m a huge fan of you guys, I really admire your work!” He was even worse than Tony with his nervous movements. Wow. “Hey, in case you ever need, like, a substitute Avenger cause you need a vacation or something, I’m your man!” 

Steve stepped forward before Tony could ask any further questions – Hello? His tower? Private property, anyone? – a frown on his face.   
“Son, what were you doing on our roof?” He used his Captain America voice, the one that was all superior and full of authority and the kid shut up immediately and shrunk visibly, clearly intimidated. 

Clint sighed and brushed Steve’s shoulder.   
“It’s alright, he’s been coming here for months. We sometimes sit out here together and chat, he’s a good guy, little reckless, fucking stubborn and way too young, but a good kid. Don’t treat him like some kinda criminal, Cap.” 

“You’ve been bringing strays to my tower?” Tony asked incredulously. “After I picked you up this is how you repay me? I’m not a charity service! And see where it got us – the poor kid was paralyzed!” 

“Yeah, what’s up with that?” Spiderman chimed in, more relaxed now. 

“It’s security. So that no one falls off.” Tony replied curtly. No need to elaborate on that subject again. “Didn’t know you were a regular visitor because someone forgot to mention it.” He gave Clint a pointed look. 

Clint just shrugged in reply. He was starting to look uncomfortable. “Some nights I can’t sleep, alright? And then I come up here. Spidey saw me one night and asked if he could hang out and I saw no harm, so yeah. We sometimes just sit here. There was nothing to tell, really.” 

Ah, shit. Wasn’t this just the slightest bit awkward?   
Steve patted Clint’s shoulder, the frown gone and replaced with a concerned expression and Thor looked ready to hug Clint. Natasha was still pressed against the wall, face impassive as always and Bruce had seemingly left the roof unnoticed. 

Tony used the moment of awkwardness to turn to the kid. “Sorry you got paralyzed. The rest of the roof is fine; just don’t get too close to the edge. JARVIS can indicate the critical area so this doesn’t happen again. Keep enjoying your therapy sessions slash slumber parties with Hawkeye.” He gave Spiderman an encouraging pat on the skinny shoulder and turned back to the Avengers. “C’mon, back inside guys, there’s nothing to see here. We were in the middle of breakfast, yes, you too, Captain frowny face!” 

He grabbed Steve’s arm and pulled him inside just as the frown reappeared on Steve’s face. It was hilarious.   
Thor remained on the roof and started a conversation with Spiderman, poor kid. He seemed exhilarated though, as if Christmas had come early. Fucking fanboys. Tony deliberately banished all memories of his Captain America fanboy phase. Not going there, too many shameful memories.

Out of the corner of his eye Tony saw how Natasha pressed Clint’s hand once as he went past her and he could see Clint’s whole face light up. Huh. That easy? Tony had had no idea that Clint was still suffering from nightmares. Maybe the team as a whole was slightly emotionally stunted. 

“Hey, Captain, you gonna help me finish breakfast?” Tony whispered into Steve’s ear as they got into the elevator together. Mhm, elevator. Was this becoming a thing? It should totally become a thing! 

“First I’m gonna lecture you on your reckless behavior.” Steve replied, voice stern. Either this was really good role-playing, or Tony had managed to piss Steve off without even realizing it. He hoped it wasn’t the latter. 

“Does this lecture include no clothes and a lot of kissing?” Tony asked hopefully and Steve gave him a withering look. Okay. So maybe not. 

“I told you to stay behind me! You weren’t even armed and you rushed headfirst into the situation! It could have been HYDRA or-“

“Nonono, listen up, Cap, it couldn’t! I asked JARVIS, he coulda told us that it was Spiderman out there, couldn’t you, J?” 

“Certainly, sir. I could also disclose Spiderman’s identity to you and Captain Rogers.” JARVIS replied dutifully. 

“See?” Tony exclaimed. “I was in no kind of danger. And no, JARVIS, don’t tell us his name, that’d be fucked-up. Poor kid wants to stay anonymous, let’s respect that for now.” 

Steve wasn’t convinced. “You rely too much on your technology, Tony! That’s your one great weakness! It doesn’t hurt to be cautious once in a while! It doesn’t make you weak!” 

They walked back into the kitchen where Bruce was sitting in front of a book and a cup of tea. 

“I’m not scared of appearing weak!” Tony spat and Steve laughed in his face. 

“You’re lying! And what is that new security system of yours? Wasn’t the sonic taser the weapon used on you by Obadiah Stane? The one he used to rip the arc reactor out of your chest to kill you?! What are you doing, Tony?” 

Now even Bruce looked up and Tony went over to the coffee maker so as to avoid direct eye contact. Awesome. Best fucking morning ever.   
“Don’t make it sound so dramatic, Steve!” he yelled, “It was years ago and the technology is safe. I revised it and it’s really harmless now. Doesn’t even hurt. And I told you guys about it so you know what to expect.” He fiddled with the coffee cup, not sure what to do with his hands. Huh. He’d completely forgotten to wear the sling…because it had been ripped to shreds the night before, right. What was he doing? Brilliant fucking question, really. 

“The sex you two have must be really intense…” Bruce murmured, got up, took his book and left. 

His exit left Steve and Tony speechless. 

Eventually Steve gave in and muttered, “Come back to the table and finish your waffle.” 

“Is it gluten free?” 

“Of course it is.” 

Tony sat down next to Steve and Steve pressed a quick kiss on his forehead. Fuck. He really liked the guy. 

“We gotta go to another briefing in 30 minutes, Fury wants to send us in tomorrow or possibly even tonight.” Steve supplied after a while. Tony had finished his waffle with his left hand. 

“Why? There was no new data, nothing changed. I mean, I get that he wants to remove the threat, but why now?” 

Steve shrugged. “No idea. But it was an order.” 

Tony rolled his eyes. “And you’re at his back and call like the good little soldier you are, huh?” 

“Yup, that’s right. And you’re still benched and I won’t give you any more intel. You’re just a civilian now, so I won’t discuss the mission with you.” Steve sounded as if he was enjoying the conversation. Bastard.

“Pf, civilian my ass! You’ll be sorry, my traitorous friend…ah, talking about team dynamics, any idea what’s up with Hawkeye? I’ve been doing some bird watching and the guy looked worse than me on a bad day this morning. And the stuff with Spiderman…” Tony tapped a random rhythm on the table absently. Suddenly Steve put his hand on Tony’s, stopping him mid-motion. Tony looked up at Steve, blinking, but Steve just ran his thumb over Tony’s hand while he was considering the question. It was disgustingly domestic and sickeningly sweet. 

“I didn’t know that Clint was suffering from nightmares. It’s not my place to pry, but I think he and Natasha had a fight and that’s why he was so off. I had no idea that he spends time with Spiderman, though.”

Tony nodded. “Yeah, JARVIS never notified me about the kid’s presence either, but that could’ve just been Clint’s bad influence, JARVIS seems to like him, hell if I know why…whatever helps him sleep at night, I guess, literally.” 

Steve closed his hand around Tony’s. “So. Talking about team dynamics…” 

And Tony jumped up, chair clattering to the floor. Oh no, nonono. He plastered his patent Tony Stark grin on his face and exclaimed, “Ah, would you look at the time? Time to leave, honey bunny, wouldn’t wanna be late to the briefing after all!” 

Steve snorted and got up. He clenched his jaw as if he was trying to stay calm and failing miserably. When his chair scraped over the floor and made a screeching noise, Tony actually winced, but Steve didn’t seem to notice. “And you’re gonna use the time to freak out?” he asked, his voice tight and controlled.

Tony chuckled and shrugged. “Well, yeah, I promised you yesterday that I’d postpone it and now that you’re all gone again I might as well use the time, right? Maybe I’ll be done by the time you’re back. Send Fury my love! And don’t wear your uniform! You’re never allowed to wear it in the field ever again!” 

That actually got Steve to smile drily. “Right…” he murmured, “See you later, Tony.” The look he gave Tony when he left the room to collect the rest of the team was bordering on disappointment and Tony felt his stomach clench. 

He dropped down on the couch. All the fight had left him and with the adrenaline gone, Tony noticed that he was shaking. What the fuck was he shaking for?

“JARVIS?” he asked and fuck, even his voice trembled! 

“What can I do for you, sir? Are you not feeling well?” JARVIS sounded alarmed and Tony didn’t see the use in pretending, not in front of JARVIS. 

“No, I’m really not, but it’s nothing medical, it’s just something about me…uh…call Pepper for me, would you? Before I freak out by myself for real…god” He rubbed his eyes as he sunk further into the cushions. Pepper answered the phone after two minutes and thirty-seven seconds. That was probably not good. 

“Tony, I swear to God, if this isn’t important-!” she greeted him at last, a bit breathless. “I just ditched the board and am now hiding in a toilet cubicle! What’s wrong?”

“I slept with Steve…” Tony muttered miserably. 

“About damn time, Tony! So, what do you want me to say? Congratulations?” He had pissed her off and now she was mad at him, too. Today was really not Tony’s day. Somehow he felt as if it hadn’t been his day for a long time. Pretty much since the fucking alien invasion, to be precise. 

“No…I…” he searched for words but couldn’t find any. So this was the downside of never telling people about his problems, he had absolutely no fucking idea how to voice them. Shit. 

“Tony? Is everything okay? He didn’t…hurt you, did he?” Apparently Tony Stark being at a loss for words was alarming enough that Pepper took him seriously. Okay then. 

“Hurt me? God, no Pepper, he wouldn’t! No, it was great, it was awesome, he wore the uniform, oh god, that uniform, I tell ya…but I…Pepper, he was my dad’s best friend! I mean, how fucked up is that? I’m screwing my dead dad’s hot best friend! There’s gotta be a special place in hell for people like me…” 

“Oh Tony, calm down. First of all, Steve is not your dad, he’s his own person-“

“Oh god, Pep!” Tony interrupted her, suddenly terrified. “What if I only like him because he reminds me of my dad? Like, what if I see him as a substitute and try to get his attention because Howard always ignored me? Oh fuck, d’you think that’s possible? I’m so sorry, Steve, oh fuck…”

He heard Pepper take a deep breath at the other end of the line. “That’s bullshit. Think about it, rationally. What do you like about Steve?” 

Tony didn’t wanna be rational and he didn’t wanna think about Steve. The revelation that he was just daddy issues personified had just hit him hard. Because yeah, he wanted Steve to like him and the lengths he was willing to go for to make that happen…

“Tony! Talk to me or I’m hanging up on you!” 

“Right, right, sorry Pep, just freaking out over here but that’s fine, it’s all cool, I got it, I…you wanted to know about Steve, yeah? What I like about him? I mean, have you looked at the guy? What’s not to like?” 

He was met with silence and panicked even more. 

“No, no, Pep, don’t hang up, I’m sorry! I…god, do we have to do this?” 

Pepper’s voice was stern. “Do you want my help or not?” 

Tony sighed and pressed a pillow on his face to drown his misery. Or something. He wouldn’t actually drown it, not after yesterday.   
“I…he’s really gentle and nice, y’know? And I give him shit for being such a boy scout, but it’s really…urgh…it’s really sweet. The way that he just cares about everyone and wants everyone to be happy and feel good, that…I like that. Steve…he just inspires trust in people, I guess. He asks you what’s wrong and you just wanna spill all your darkest secrets and wait for him to fix you. It. Whatever. And he’s actually a really capable team leader. I don’t listen to his orders much, but he’s a damn good strategist and he’s got the team working. I can always depend on him on the field and he still gets the job done with minimum casualties. He always makes me breakfast and he’s let me look at his sketches, which were almost exclusively of me, by the way – creepy, I know! – and he puts up with my shit, oh god, even I don’t put up with my shit as much as he does. Doesn’t hurt that he’s really fucking hot and definitely experienced.” Tony paused and swallowed, his throat uncomfortably dry. “Crap…I really like him…”

“Sounds like it, Tony.” Pepper agreed and Tony could hear her smile. “And it’s not because of your dad, because Steve is nothing like Howard. Just think of all the traits you just listed. Would anyone describe Howard like that?” 

Tony chuckled darkly. “Yeah, right…” 

“See? Steve and your dad have nothing in common except for the fact that they were both working against Nazi Germany in WWII! Your father was a self-centered ass who cared more about his inventions than his families and all he ever did was make you feel like crap. In fact, he still is, even though he’s been dead for more than twenty years.”

“When you put it like that...” Tony removed the pillow from his face hesitantly. 

“And Steve isn’t doing anything like that, is he?” Pepper asked softly and Tony sighed. 

“No, he…he actually cares. God, Pep, he cares so much he’s making me see a therapist! Me! Can you believe that?”

The noise of frustration he got in return was answer enough. 

“Anyway, guess you can, being my ex-girlfriend and all that, haha! I don’t wanna disappoint him but I know that I will cause that’s what I do. Just before I called he…he wanted to talk to me. Like, talk talk, y’know, honey we need to talk-talk, and I just, I’m just not ready for that, I guess, because once we make this official, whatever this is, Steve’s gonna have all these expectations and I’m just gonna disappoint him all the way because I’m no good in relationships, even less when I actually like the person, and I really like Steve and I want him to like me, but at the same time I think he should just back off or I should just make him, because-“

“Don’t you dare, Tony Stark!” Pepper interjected angrily and Tony bit on his tongue to stop the rant. “Don’t you dare treat Steve badly because you’re scared of being in a relationship! You deserve good things in your life, Tony, and Steve has the potential of being really good for you. What you’re feeling right now is completely normal! Just open up to Steve about it, talk to him and tell him about your fears. You’ll figure something out and Steve will be happy because you trusted him enough to talk to him, believe me.”

Tony’s fingers found the arc reactor and started tapping a nervous beat. “What, just like that? I can’t do that, Pepper, you know me, I mean, how do you even do that, I wouldn’t know where to begin, this is never gonna work, oh god, I’m a nightmare, I’m sorry, Pep…” 

“No. Tony, no. Listen to me.” Her voice was gentle now and Tony felt like crying. Why was he like this? And why had he had to fall in love with Steve Rogers of all people?   
“You’re perfectly fine just the way you are. Sure, you’re a bit insecure” Tony made a face at that and couldn’t suppress an incredulous laugh, “but so is Steve. Think about it. Has he ever been in a relationship since waking up in the twenty-first century? How high are the chances of him freaking out just as much as you right now? And don’t answer that, it was a rhetorical question. My point is, Tony, that you should just tell Steve what you told me. He’ll appreciate it, I’m sure of it. And you’ll be able to find answers together. Just be honest.”

“Right, cause honest is my middle name…” Tony muttered drily. 

“No, your middle name’s Edward. And I know that you can be honest if you want to. The only question is: do you want to be honest with Steve?” 

Yeah, well, luckily that question was pretty much already out of the window, poor Steve had seen more of Tony being honest than even Pepper had so far. Fuck. So apparently that only left him with one choice…

“So I talk to him when he gets back and I’m honest and talk about my feelings?” Tony whined. He didn’t like that conclusion one bit. 

Pepper seemingly did, though. “That’s right, that’s exactly what you’ll do. And it’ll be fine.”

“I doubt that…no, but thanks, Pep, I appreciate it. Sorry for keeping you from your meeting, you really helped me out. I’ll talk to Steve. Or at least I’ll try. Yeah. Don’t wanna make promises I can’t keep…”

“You’ll be fine, Tony!” Pepper said encouragingly and Tony just sighed. 

“I’m scared shitless, Pepper…”

“I need to get back to the meeting or the board is gonna report a missing person…don’t freak out, just be yourself! Love you, Tony”

“Love you, too, Pep…send the board my love” 

The call disconnected and Tony stared ahead morosely. Just be yourself. What a great fucking piece of advice. He didn’t wanna be himself, he didn’t even like being himself on a good day, for fuck’s sake! 

Hopefully the briefing would take long, Tony had a speech to prepare…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, feedback is highly appreciated!


	19. Fucking stupid feelings talks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so sorry for the delay, guys! I'm drowning in work and it's not cool...
> 
> I hope I'll be able to write the last chapter soon.

Groaning, Tony got off the couch to fix himself a cup of coffee. How the fuck would he start that conversation with Steve? What would he say? How did conversations like that work? He didn’t do that feelings crap, for fuck’s sake! 

“What am I gonna do, J?” he murmured as he sipped his coffee. 

“I’d advice you to just be your charming self, but I’m getting the feeling that this is not the kind of advice you are looking for, sir.” JARVIS deadpanned. 

“Haha.” Tony couldn’t even muster up a dry chuckle. 

“Ms. Pott’s advice seemed quite sound, if you are asking for my honest opinion, sir. If you are looking for a way out, though, I would advice a nice trip. London maybe? You haven’t been to Europe in quite a while. Sir.” 

“Okay, okay! I’m gonna talk to him! Happy now?” Tony exclaimed, exasperated. He set the coffee cup down and made his way to the workshop. To calm his nerves. Or devise a battle plan. Or whatever. Read up on Cosmo-articles or something. 

“Ecstatic. Your happiness is my happiness, sir.” JARVIS responded and Tony felt marginally better. Even if he was a train wreck when it came to socializing with actual humans, he’d always have JARVIS. And JARVIS understood him, even better than Pepper. 

Once in the workshop, Tony noticed that Dummy and the other bots had attempted to clean the mess from the other day. The instruments had been put back on the workbench – in the wrong order, but still, it was the thought that counted – and the remnants of his cast were nowhere to be seen. 

Dummy whirred towards Tony happily, beeping and nudging his new cast with his claw in affection. Tony smiled. Right, he also still had his bots. He didn’t need to be freaking out this much. 

“Dummy was concerned about you, sir. After Captain Rogers…removed him and took you to the hospital he wouldn’t calm down. I told him to clean up the mess, but he was clearly agitated when you wouldn’t return. I tried to reassure him that the worst damage had been avoided, but he appeared concerned.” JARVIS supplied and Tony immediately felt bad. 

He petted Dummy softly. “Sorry, buddy, wasn’t your fault, you were just following orders for once, thanks for that by the way, and I wasn’t hurt, so it’s all good. I even got a new cast, look here, it’s all good.” Scratch that, he totally needed to be freaking out, he managed to even make his bots, who, despite everything, were still mostly machines, worry about him! How? Why was everyone worrying about him? Why did he always have to let everyone down? What the fuck was wrong with him? 

Suddenly exhausted and just done with it all, he sat down on his swiveling chair and pulled out his StarkPhone to text…Bruce. Better get some intel on Steve’s mood from someone with eyes on the inside. Natasha wouldn’t check her phone during a meeting with Fury, Clint would give him shit about it for weeks if he asked about Steve and Thor was physically unable to be sneaky, he’d probably call him and bellow and put everyone on speaker and he didn’t need that. So that left only Bruce. Poor guy. 

“Brucey, how’s the meeting?” Tony texted. When he didn’t get an immediate response, he sent another text.   
“I prolly need to talk to Cap, but I gotta prepare and I need to know how much longer I got.”   
Still nothing.   
“C’mon, say you gotta use the bathroom or something, I’m in distress here!” 

Finally, after another two painful minutes he got a reply.   
“Not sure if we’re gonna come home or just start the mission from here. Everything ok?” 

Which made Tony’s stomach drop and fall into an icy pit, leaving him oddly numb and cold. Well. If Steve didn’t come home, they wouldn’t have to talk. Easy solution to a hard problem. Nice and temporary, just the way he liked it. No having to find words and maybe ending this…thing of theirs. No disappointment from Steve. No getting drunk by himself to forget about the misery for a while – ah, who was he kidding, at this point he didn’t need a reason for drinking himself stupid anymore. But still. It sounded like a good thing. The best thing, in fact. Yeah. It was all good! 

His phone beeped again and Tony flinched.   
“Steve has demanded we’re allowed to go home first or he won’t take the mission. He’s antsy. Hope you know what you’re doing.” 

He gave a hollow laugh at that. Actually he had no fucking idea what he was doing, just that he was failing spectacularly at it. And now Steve was coming back and he was nervous! Fuck!   
Still, the cold, disconcerting feeling in his gut subsided and Tony could breathe a little easier. 

“Hey, JARVIS! How much longer till they come back?” he asked the much dreaded question. 

The reply came promptly. “Taking the current traffic conditions into consideration, it will take Captain Rogers approximately 13 minutes to arrive at the tower.” 

Tony noticed how JARVIS had only spoken of Steve and sighed.   
“Tell him I’m waiting for him on the roof when he gets here.” 

Something kept him from addressing Steve and the...complications…at hand in the workshop, although he usually felt safest there. Maybe it was because they’d spent some quality time on the roof before.   
Or it was simply knowing that if nothing else worked, he could fling himself against the installed barrier, get paralyzed, and buy some more minutes.   
Not that he’d do that, of course, that’d be pathetic and a little crazy and he wasn’t one for pathetic and crazy actions. At all. 

Outside there was a nice breeze and the sun, already low in the sky, was poking through the clouds here and there, illuminating the rooftops of New York City in a soft glow.  
“JARVIS, heat” Tony murmured as goose bumps appeared on his arms and a chill ran through his whole body, starting at his naked feet. He wiggled his toes until the ground had warmed to a pleasant temperature. 

Tony let his gaze wander over the city and tried desperately not to think. Which was hard for regular people, but he was Tony Stark, certified genius, and his brain was always working. Always! There were great inventions that had come to him during sex, during what one would call mind-blowing sex even, and he couldn’t help it. 

So naturally now, his mind was flooded with possible outcomes of the conversation with Steve. Steve saying Tony was too complicated and too rotten to be in a relationship with. Steve saying that they couldn’t be in a relationship because it would mess up team dynamics. Steve saying that all Tony had wanted from him was a quick fuck. Steve saying that Tony was way too reckless and immature to be in a relationship. Steve saying that he didn’t really have the time to be in a relationship right now. Steve saying that Tony should first fix all his issues. Steve saying- ah, fuck it all. 

He should have seasoned his earlier coffee with whiskey, he mused morosely. Steve would have disapproved, of course, but this was torture. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Tony saw something red flash by and waved. Spiderman returned the greeting while swinging through the air and Tony shook his head. It was a good thing the kid’s aunt didn’t know what he was up to. Speaking of people being up to some shit or another, someone should check on Clint. The guy could really use a break. They should stop him from sinking into something like that post-Coulson depression; that had been painful to watch. 

“Sir, Captain Rogers and the Avengers have just entered the premises. I have informed the Captain of your location, he is approaching the elevator as I speak.” JARVIS’ smooth voice shook Tony out of his reveries and he flinched. Hard. 

“What? JARVIS, no, fuck, create a diversion or something, I’m not ready!” 

“…not ready for what?” Steve’s voice carried over from the open door, a note of amusement in it, startling Tony into an undignified yelp. He whirled around, completely unprepared. 

“Shit, Steve!” he exclaimed, clutching at his heart for dramatic effect and Steve just rolled his eyes. 

“You were the one who ordered me here.” Cap clarified. Then he raised an eyebrow. “What’s that about, by the way? The rooftop? Is this our thing now, the rooftop? Or do I have a reason to be worried?”   
Tony desperately wished for a drink, not necessarily to drink it, but just to have something to hold on to. What the fuck was he supposed to do with his hands? Fuck! How did normal people handle those kinda situations? 

He opted for pacing. Better than nothing. “Lotsa things are becoming a thing right now, like the sleepovers and hot people pressing me into sofas and deeply emotional conversations on the rooftop and phone calls to Pepper and me and you, that’s becoming a thing? Like, I mean, maybe? If, if you’d like it to, that is, I mean I understand if you don’t, I get it, no hard feelings, I sure as hell wouldn’t wanna be in a relationship with me, I’ve had to live with me for years now and let me tell you, it sucks, so it’s completely fine if you don’t wanna. Um. Not the living part, that is, since technically we’ve been living together for quite some time now, unless you wanna move out, but…where was I going with this? I’m bad at this stuff!” 

Steve wore a smile that looked like it was reserved for puppies and little kittens and equally adorable things and Tony groaned. 

“And now I’m making an idiot of myself and your humoring me! Do not. Humor me!”

“I’m not humoring you, Tony. You’re just so…”

“Pathetic? Embarrassing? Immature? …insecure?” Tony offered, feeling increasingly more humiliated. 

“I was going for cute” Steve replied shrugging and Tony groaned again. 

“Awesome. Just the words I’ve always wanted to hear Captain America say to me. Dad would be so proud.” 

“And he’s got every reason-“

“Nope!” Tony interjected immediately, palm forward to stop Steve mid-sentence. “Not talking about my dad, not opening that can of worms now. Not while I’m telling you that I like you. Oh god, scratch that, I did not just tell you I’ve got a crush on you like some teenager!” Why had he installed that security feature? Flinging himself off the roof suddenly seemed like a nice alternative. Fuck. 

“I…shit, can I get a replay of that? Like, can you forget it ever happened?” He tried, not meeting Steve’s eyes. He noticed that Steve was still standing in the door kinda awkwardly as if he didn’t really know where to go or what to do, either. All in all, the poor guy looked so painfully young that Tony decided to get his shit together and save the situation. Or at least try to. Somehow. Oh god, why had he listened to Pepper? This was a fucking disaster! 

“You can come outside, y’know? I’m not gonna attack you or go all psycho on you…” 

Steve let out a low chuckle. Nerves? Was Steve really as nervous as Tony himself? 

He drew in another shaky breath and wrung his hands to keep them from compulsively tapping the arc reactor. “So um…I…care about you?” It sounded more like a question than a heartfelt confession and Tony screwed up his face. Worst idea ever! 

Fortunately Steve chose that moment to finally move away from the fucking door and bridge the distance between them. He was still wearing the tight shirt although the hickeys and bites must have long since healed. A few inches in front of Tony he stopped, seemingly unsure if he was allowed to touch him or not. He opted for the latter. Tony wouldn’t have minded some touching.   
“Thanks” he whispered and Tony could hear the smile. “C’mon, look at me, Tony” he tried and it was the subtle, nearly suppressed tremble in Steve’s soft voice that made Tony raise his head. The sun was setting now, drowning the city in a deep orange glow and the soft breeze was ruffling Steve’s hair. It felt unreal, so serene and peaceful right in the heart of New York City. Tony blinked. 

“I also care about you. You’re the most important person for me in this place.” 

Ah, yes. Nice. Of course. Couldn’t have put it better himself. Wait. What? What the fuck? 

Tony blinked again, mouth slightly agape. 

“I…what?” He asked stupidly and a blush crept on Steve’s cheeks. “That’s even worse than my schoolgirl confession, buttercup!” He wanted to laugh and never stop. What the fuck? Before he gave into the pure ecstasy he was feeling, Tony asked once again, just to clarify: “You sure you’re talking about me?” 

“Pretty sure, yup” Steve replied, still flushed, but wearing a shy-ish smile now. “And I guess I made it obvious that I care more about you than just as a friend.” He shrugged and this time Tony really laughed out loud. A grin brightened up his face as he said “Oh, I dunno, I’m not quite sure if I got the message, it was kinda ambiguous, Captain, I might have felt as if I was simply following orders-“ 

“-right, because following orders is your specialty” Steve muttered darkly. 

“…so I’m afraid I’ll need a repeat performance so I can make sure, y’know?”

“You really are infuriating…” 

Tony just cackled before sobering up again.   
“Seriously though, I’m not good at this shit…I talked to Pepper, because she knows me better than I do – scary, I know – and she said to talk to you, because it’d mean a lot to you or something…I’ve got no fucking clue how all this stammering’s supposed to help anyone, but here I am, giving it a shot. Fuck. It’s just that…everything considered, you’re really kinda awesome. Not just cause you’re Captain America though that’s like an added bonus, but still, I like Steve Rogers better than Captain America. And…and because I do, I just gotta warn you. Pepper asked me not to, but I don’t want you to…suffer because of me. Cause I’m…I’m really incredibly fucked-up. I’m not a team player and I never listen to orders and I disappear into the workshop for days and I forget to eat and sleep and I never remember anyone’s birthday and I get nightmares and panic attacks and I drink way too much and-“   
He was cut off by Steve wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close into a hug. Steve buried his face in Tony’s hair and shushed him.   
“I still think you’re great. And just for the record, my track record with relationships isn’t any better than yours. The only time I had something resembling a relationship was 70 years ago, how’s that for depressing?” He chuckled lightly but it sounded forced. Tony immediately felt even worse for the guy. “Besides, I’m not the poster boy for living a happy, healthy life either.” Steve added and Tony hugged him back tightly. 

What a disaster. They were so fucked.


	20. Fucking stupid HYDRA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT IS DONE!!!
> 
> Thank you all so much for your kudos and comments and for reading this story to the end! 
> 
> I hope you've enjoyed it so far and I hope you like the ending.  
> This is the longest chapter I've ever written (this whole story is the longest piece I've ever written!)...
> 
>  
> 
> warnings: sexual content and some violence

They were still locked in the embrace when Steve pulled back slightly. He raised his hand to Tony’s face and traced the lines of Tony’s lips with his thumb, eliciting a low moan from Tony. Tony’s whole body shifted even closer and he made a needy, strangled sound. Fuck, he really, really wanted Steve. 

Steve worked his fingers gently into Tony’s hair and Tony sighed, eyes closed.  
Then Steve leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on Tony’s lips and his eyes snapped open, fast, and he kissed back hungrily. With his left hand he grabbed Steve’s shoulder tightly while craning his head up to meet Steve’s lips. 

Meanwhile, Steve’s fingers ghosted over Tony’s face, leaving feather light touches that left him wishing for more. He moaned again when one of Steve’s hands slipped under his shirt and worked its way up to his chest. He wanted to have Steve’s hands all over his body, touching every patch of skin. His fingernails scraped over Steve’s back as Tony opened his mouth and deepened the kiss, causing Steve to gasp and inhale sharply before closing his eyes and giving himself up to Tony’s mouth. His body was trembling in anticipation and Tony could feel how hard he was. 

He broke off, panting and took a stumbling step backwards. A wave of hurt and confusion flashed over Steve’s face as he blinked a few times, clearly disoriented. 

“No offense, Steve, I’ll gladly screw you anywhere, but d’you think the roof is the best place? Kinky that you got such exhibitionist tendencies, don’t get me wrong, we can explore that one later, I’d love to, but for now, how about we take this to the bedroom? Any bedroom? Or any room with a bed? Or a couch, that’d be enough, actually…mmpf!” 

Tony’s rant was stopped by Steve’s mouth. 

“Room with a bed”, Steve gasped, as they broke apart, “got it!” With that, he swept Tony off his feet – literally, he wasn’t being sappy here! – and lifted him up in his arms. Then he carried him towards the door, bridal style. To his surprise, Tony noted that he didn’t even mind. As long as he got into that room with a bed. Fast. And feeling those muscles of Steve’s flex underneath him wasn’t half bad either. 

Steve stepped into the penthouse and Tony’s eyes flickered over to the couch. That would suffice, he was sure, but Steve quickly passed it and turned into Tony’s bedroom. He set Tony down on the bed gingerly and Tony sighed when his back connected with the mattress. It had been months since he’d had sex in his own bed. And after all the nights he’d slept next to Steve in that very bed, thinking of all the things they could have been doing…and now this was actually happening!

Tony wrapped his arms around Steve’s neck and pulled him down onto the bed with him.  
“You sure we got time for this, oh Captain, my Captain?” he asked with a grin, peaking up at Steve through half-lidded eyes and licking his lips once for good measure. 

“I call the shots”, Steve panted and finally got Tony out of his shirt. “We leave when I say it’s time to leave.” 

Tony chuckled at that and buried his hand in Steve’s hair. Then he gave it a hard tuck. “Abusing authority, Captain Rogers? You’re fulfilling all my dirty fantasies today…” 

“That so?” Steve murmured and their lips crashed together once more and Tony was frantically pulling at the fabric of Steve’s shirt, he needed to touch those arms and the abs and everything else there was, every part of Steve, he wanted to touch it all and make Steve squirm and find out what he liked and make him feel good. 

Steve broke the kiss and took off the shirt with one fluid motion. Tony buried his face in the crook of Steve’s neck at that and hummed an affirmative. He breathed in deeply and ran his left hand down Steve’s body, painfully slowly, making sure to touch every muscle and to pay attention to every little gasp and hitching breath. 

“We still gotta try out the sex car…” Tony muttered under his breath and Steve groaned, causing Tony to chuckle lightly. Then Steve stopped his wandering hand just as Tony was unbuckling Steve’s belt with practiced ease. He linked his fingers with Tony’s and used his other hand to get rid of Tony’s sweatpants. When Tony was completely naked, Steve shifted so that he was on top of him, holding him down with the hand that was still linked with Tony’s. 

Tony looked up at Steve who was obviously aroused now, his erection pressing into Tony’s thigh. Who’d have thought the Cap had a thing for dominating in the bedroom? Not that Tony was complaining, nope, this was good, alpha male Steve was good, in fact every side of Steve was good – oh! His trail of thoughts was cut off by Steve’s mouth licking and sucking at the inside of Tony’s thighs ever so slowly. Each little kiss sent a shiver through Tony’s body and soon he was straining against the mattress, panting while he was being held down by Steve.

Tony squirmed. He wanted to touch Steve, he wasn’t done with his exploration yet, but this was good, this was so, so good and he didn’t want Steve to stop but at the same time he needed more, soon, and now Steve’s hand was there, cupping his ass and it was ridiculous how far gone Tony was already, but then Steve bit down on his thigh, hard, and Tony’s moans turned into a sharp gasp and his hips buckled up on reflex. 

“Fuck, Steve!”  
Steve wrapped his free hand around Tony’s cock firmly and commanded “No chatting!” with a cocky grin on his face. Fuck it all. Tony felt as if he was melting in Steve’s hands and he didn’t mind one bit. 

“Kiss me?” he asked in between moans, the fingernails of his left hand digging into Steve’s hand in a futile effort to regain some form of control over the situation. Steve didn’t stop stroking Tony’s penis but he raised his head from between Tony’s legs and kissed him on the lips. 

Tony kissed back hungrily, putting everything he was feeling into the kiss. He wanted to make Steve feel good, too, this was so one-sided, not that he wasn’t enjoying it, of course he was, it was fucking amazing and he didn’t want Steve to stop, ever, but at the same time he wanted to touch Steve and kiss him and maybe blow him again, just because he could. But he still couldn’t fucking move and it was becoming frustrating and he was just feeling hot all over and Steve’s hand on his dick wasn’t stopping and he was seriously close to coming just from that and he didn’t really want that and -“Steve!” he panted breathlessly and bit down on Steve’s bottom lip. 

Steve let out a whimper and Tony could feel Steve’s cock twitch in response. 

“Let me take those jeans off you.” Tony whispered and dove in for another kiss.

“Not yet”, Steve replied and broke the kiss. Then he let go of Tony’s dick, eliciting a whiny sound from Tony whose body was already taunt and so, so ready. This was torture! He’d had no way of knowing that Steve was such a fucking tease! 

Then Steve’s tongue swirled over the tip of Tony’s dick and Tony moaned loudly. Fuck! 

“Steve, please!” he whimpered, biting down on his own bottom lip so hard that he drew blood. He couldn’t take much more and Steve fucking knew it! 

Steve chuckled lightly before taking all of Tony’s cock in his mouth and Tony forgot what he was complaining about. Jesus fucking Christ, this was heaven! Steve’s mouth was hot and wet and his tongue was licking down the length of his penis while his hand was fondling his balls and damn but this was good, it was awesome, it was so fucking hot and Tony could feels his orgasm approaching, he was nearly there, a warm feeling building up in his lower belly and it was swelling. He closed his eyes as Steve put more pressure on his dick and then he couldn’t hold back anymore and thrust upwards, into Steve’s mouth, and it was pure bliss and he rode out his orgasm fucking Steve’s face and fuck, that had been good, so good, Steve was so, so hot and he gave really good head, fuck! 

Trembling and utterly fucking exhausted, Tony sank back into the sheets, a thin layer of sweat covering his tired body. He felt spent and loose and warm and content. It was a good feeling. 

“Fuck, Steve, that was amazing…” Tony muttered with a goofy smile on his face. His left hand was free and he used it to pull Steve closer and give him a peck on the mouth. 

Steve smiled back at Tony, his cheeks still flushed. The he wiped his thumb across Tony’s lower lip. It came away bloody and Steve raised an eyebrow. Tony just shrugged, a cocky grin replacing the smile from before. “What can I say? You’ve got a filthy mouth, Captain!” 

Steve huffed out a laugh and actually ducked his head…in embarrassment? How adorable! Tony couldn’t believe it. 

“Hey, no need to feel self-conscious, soldier, you’ve got a wide range of talents, own them!” He winked at Steve, who flushed even more and seriously, wasn’t that just the cutest thing ever? How Steve had just gone from confident, commanding Captain Rogers who fucked Tony senseless with his mouth to shy and awkward Steve who couldn’t handle sexual innuendo…Steve was the best. 

“Seriously Steve, I really liked that”, Tony purred and ran his fingernails over Steve’s chest. “It felt really, really good”, he unbuckled the belt and slowly pulled the jeans and boxers down. “Let me make it up to you, Captain.” As if on accident, his hand pressed down on Steve’s groin when he pulled down the pants and Steve moaned, rock hard already. Tony smirked. This was gonna be easy. 

He kicked the jeans off the bed took a second to just admire the perfection in front of him. Steve, whimpering and ready, completely at his mercy, his cock twitching nervously and his face flushed, waiting for Tony to take action, trusting him completely. 

It made Tony’s own cock twitch and he could feel himself getting hard again. Fuck. The things Steve did to him… 

Steve made another whimpering sound and Tony snapped out of his reverie. He finally had Steve where he wanted him, ready to explore every inch of his gorgeous body. 

And he did, with his hands, fingers running over the smooth surface of Steve’s hard muscles, and with his lips and tongue and teeth, nibbling and licking and pressing soft kisses to make it all okay again. Steve was trembling under his touches, moaning and gasping when Tony reached a sensitive spot and panting Tony’s name as if it was some kinda charm. It made Tony want him so much more. 

“Hey Steve,” Tony panted in between planting kisses on the inside of his thighs, a good spot, as he had learned. Steve moaned in response and whispered “Don’t stop, don’t stop now, Tony!” Oh yeah, he was ready alright. Tony grinned. “have you ever been fucked?”  
He looked up and saw Steve shake his head. Okay. To be honest, Tony had expected that. Still. “Would you like to try it out?”  
Steve whimpered again. “Yes, yes, anything Tony, yes, just don’t stop!” And fuck, but seeing Steve like that was even hotter than the commanding, dominant Steve. 

Tony groaned and placed his hands on Steve’s hips. He looked him in the eyes – his pupils were completely blown – and said “I want you to get on all fours, can you do that for me?” And Steve nodded eagerly and shifted underneath Tony. Tony let go of him and reached into the drawer of his nightstand to pull out a bottle of lube. 

“This might hurt a bit, try to relax”, he muttered as he put some lube in his hands and started working on Steve’s hole. Steve hissed audibly as Tony started spreading the lube. When Tony inserted the first finger – thank fuck he could still use the fingers of his right hand! -, he gasped and his muscles clenched around the finger. Tony made a soothing noise and wrapped his other hand around Steve’s cock. He started stroking it lightly while working his hole with circling motions. It was working and soon Steve sighed and relaxed against Tony, his dick pulsing. Steve kneeling in front of him was quite a sight and Tony was growing impatient. He was also horribly horny and having to stare at Steve’s perfect ass like that was worse than Steve’s teasing from before. He wanted to feel Steve, all around him, as he had when Steve had taken him in his mouth, and he wanted it now! So he inserted a second finger and watched Steve writhe and squirm. 

“Everything alright?” he asked, his voice low and husky and Steve could barely form a coherent answer, he just kept repeating Tony’s name, a breathless mantra that was nearly enough to send Tony spiraling over the edge. He couldn’t take it anymore. Slowly he removed his fingers from Steve’s ass, causing Steve to make a distressed sound. He let go of Steve’s cock as well and spread some more lube over Steve’s hole and his own cock. Then he gripped Steve hips firmly and whispered, “Try to relax”. 

The tip of Tony’s cock touched Steve’s hole and Steve shivered. Tony gripped him even harder and slowly pushed into him, working a steady rhythm. Steve was tight, but Tony had expected that and it was good, it was Steve, and Tony was his first and this was more than Tony had even dared to dream about. 

Once they had found a pace that worked for both of them, Tony let go of Steve’s hips and wrapped his left hand around his cock. He began stroking it in the same rhythm of his thrusts and soon they were both panting in unison, Steve’s arms trembling and Tony, kneeling behind Steve, was sure his legs would give out soon if he didn’t find some release soon. His strokes got faster and so did his thrusts, pounding into Steve who was panting in an obscene fashion and Tony couldn’t take it anymore and apparently neither could Steve and as Steve came in his hand his muscles clenched around Tony’s cock and Tony actually yelled as he came, fast and hard. 

Still breathing heavily, he slipped out of Steve and collapsed next to him. Steve blinked up at him, an utterly spaced look on his face and Tony ran his left hand over Steve’s face affectionately. 

“Hey”, he murmured and Steve blinked again, lazily. “you alright?” 

Steve hummed and closed his eyes. “As far as first experiences go…” he trailed of and sighed, his hand finding Tony’s head and stroking his hair lightly. “…that was really good. Thank you, Tony.” 

Tony laughed at that. No one had ever thanked him for sex before. “You’re a natural, Steve.” He replied, leering and Steve grinned half-heartedly, apparently not sure what to think of the compliment. 

“I’d really like for this to be a regular thing”, Tony murmured. “If you want.” Because sex was great, even bad or mediocre sex since it was still better than no sex at all, but sex with Steve was mind-blowing and made Tony feel good and judging by the sleepy mess next to him it made Steve feel good as well, so he’d like to repeat this. Often. Like, several times every day. 

“Huh?” Steve asked intelligently and pried his eyes back open. “Yeah, sure, I’d love that.”  
And maybe that made Tony’s heart swell a tiny little bit. Steve’s next words, however, didn’t. “Urgh. I gotta get up and take a shower. The team must be waiting for me…” 

Fucking responsibilities. Tony’s faced morphed into an unhappy frown against his will and Steve ran a finger over his brows to smooth them.  
“I’d suggest I join you in the shower, but I got a suspicion that it would turn into a long shower if I did and that wouldn’t be too productive, huh?” 

Steve sighed at that and shook his head. 

“Yeah, thought so…” Tony whined and watched as Steve got up, picked up his clothes and walked into the adjacent bathroom. Damn. He’d really have liked to join Steve. But still, even like this he was happy. The sex had been damn good, he hadn’t chickened out of the fucking feelings talk and Steve still liked him. Hell, Steve had looked at him like a lovesick puppy! 

As if right on cue, Steve chose that exact moment to return from the bathroom, dressed in his undersuit – yeah, Tony had even stored a couple of those in his wardrobe, just in case – his hair dripping. His had a towel slung around his neck, but before he used it to dry his hair, he went over to Tony and shook his head, sending the droplets flying and showering Tony in cold water. Tony actually shrieked at that and leaped upwards, but Steve had already retreated, laughing openly. Oh, he was a puppy alright! 

“You’re evil, Steve…” Tony muttered darkly and got up to snatch the towel from Steve. Steve just grinned and handed it to Tony.  
“Why don’t you take a quick shower as well? I’m gonna pack up for the mission and then I’m gonna assemble the team. I bet Director Fury has already called…” He had a rueful look about him and Tony just snorted. 

“Director Fury has indeed called, Captain. Six times, to be precise, the last one just eight minutes ago.” JARVIS supplied helpfully and Steve’s expression changed to a decidedly unhappy one. 

“Ah, in that case, I guess we better get going soon…” He rubbed the back of his head and Tony walked over to his wardrobe to throw on some clothes. He rummaged around for a bit until he found a t-shirt that said “I am Iron Man” and some dark jeans. Noticing that Steve was watching him, Tony turned around slowly, eyebrows raised in question.  
Steve immediately put his hands up in surrender, a grin on his face. “Just enjoying the view”, he murmured, and Tony snorted. “Right. I know it’s a damn nice view. Now go get your uniform, buttercup, before I decide to undress you again. Cause, y’know, that would be an even nicer view, just sayin’…” He trailed off and Steve couldn’t hide the faint blush on his cheeks. “Meet me…J, where’s the team?”  
“The Avengers are currently awaiting Captain Rogers’ arrival in the communal living room, sir.”  
“…downstairs in the living room!” Tony added with a cheeky grin and walked out of the room. 

While he was in the elevator, Tony thought about the mission. He didn’t like it. Not only the fact that he had to stay behind, though that sucked, but also the mission itself…it felt wrong. There was something off about it, something they were missing, and Tony had a really bad feeling about it, like horribly bad, but what the fuck was he supposed to say? Fury, call the mission off, I got a bad feeling? Not fucking likely. So he’d had to grit his teeth and try to support the Avengers as best as he could from the tower. Maybe he’d find out what was wrong with the terrorists before his team landed at the border. He’d just have to work fast, like really fucking fast, but that hadn’t been a problem before, he’d changed even the shittiest situations to his advantage, he could do it again. Especially when his team was involved, and Steve. Who had somehow become a separate entity, but there was no use dwelling on that now. He could leave the freaking out and angsting part for later. 

As he stepped out of the elevator, Tony was greeted by the voices of the Avengers. He walked into the living room and saw all of them minus Steve sprawled out on the sofas in full gear. Mjölnir and Clint’s bow were leaning against the coffee table and there was an assortment of guns on the table. At his entrance, Clint and Natasha’s heads shot up and he gave them a little wave. 

“Only dear old me, but Steve’s on his way. Hey Brucey, you alright there?” He noticed that Bruce was looking slightly green and very, very anxious. However, he managed to give Tony a tight nod in response and even said “It’s a mission during which people will be hurt. You know how much I enjoy those.” 

Tony walked over to him and patted his head affectionately. “I know, dear, but they’re HYDRA scum and they deserve it, so don’t hold back and don’t feel bad.”  
Bruce gave him another tight nod and Tony dropped down on the couch between Clint and Natasha, satisfied. 

He maybe shouldn’t have done that, though, seeing as Clint’s face morphed into a lascivious grin and he asked, “So, Stark. More platonic bonding with the good Captain? Out on the roof? Or did you decide to watch another movie? Maybe Mean Girls this time?” 

Just as he wanted to respond, Natasha touched his neck. “That’s an impressive hickey”, she stated deadpan and Tony groaned. Fucking sly bastard assassins! 

To make matters even worse, Thor got up from the armchair he was sitting in and engulfed Tony in a heartfelt hug. “My shield brother! I am delighted that you and the Captain have finally acted on your feelings! It takes a brave man to take that step! You should share this fortunate occasion with your loyal followers on twitter!” 

Tony patted Thor on the back with his left hand several times before he was finally let go. “Um. Thanks, big guy, I’ll think about it…” 

The door opened again and Steve strode in, suited up and ready for duty. He furrowed his brows at the scene in front of him, Tony snuggled between Clint and Natasha, Thor kneeling in front of him, a huge grin on his face, and Bruce in the corner, looking as stressed as always.

“Hey guys…” he started hesitantly and obviously confused, “everything alright here?” 

Immediately, all eyes were on him and he actually took a step back. “Okay, wow, what’s going on? Why are you all staring at me like that?” 

Before Tony could answer and diffuse the situation, Thor got up and bridged the distance to Steve in two steps. Then he wrapped him up in a hug much like Tony before and bellowed “Congratulations, brave Captain! We are all so very happy for friend Tony and you!” 

Next to Tony, Clint snickered as Steve’s face fell and Tony went for an apologetic shrug. It hadn’t even been his fault this time, they seriously should have expected this seeing as a) they hadn’t been exactly subtle and b) they were living together with trained assassins, genius scientists and gods…keeping their thing – whatever it was – secret had been pretty much out of the question from the begging. Well. 

Steve cleared his throat and Tony could tell that he was fighting for composure. It was a good look on Steve, all flustered. Tony liked it. 

“Well, um. Thanks.” He stated lamely and Clint gave a throaty laugh. “Just don’t tell Fury we’re late for the mission because you had to fuck Tony, don’t think the man would appreciate it.” 

Steve managed to first pale and then blush at that and Clint laughed even harder. Well. At least he was feeling better. 

“…anyway. Are all of you ready?” You had to give it to Steve, he tried. 

The four Avengers nodded, Clint still with a sleazy grin on his face, and Steve cleared his throat again. “Good. We’re taking the Quinjet, switch your comm units on.”

“Ooooh, so you’re gonna let me listen in, honey bear?” Tony asked excitedly and jumped up from the couch. The others got up as well and grabbed their weapons. 

Steve just shrugged in reply. “You’d do it anyway. No use of forbidding it. But Tony, you’re still benched. I don’t want you to get involved! You can listen, but I don’t want any chatter over the comms. And I don’t want you leaving the tower because you think you gotta help or something. Can you promise me that?” 

Ah fuck, promises…he wasn’t too fond of those. Tony grimaced at Steve. “Don’t make me say it, Steve, that’s not a promise I can keep, not if you’re in real danger. But yeah” he held up his hand to silence Steve, “I promise not to interfere and shit unless you’re close to dying or something. Deal?” 

“Stop flirting!” Clint called from the hallway and Steve sighed again.

“I don’t like it. Get some rest, this is a routine mission. Call Dr. Miller, set up an appointment. We’ll be fine. See you tomorrow, Tony.” 

Tony blinked, but before he could respond with a snarky comment, Steve had bowed down and kissed him, hard. Without thinking, Tony kissed back and Steve ruffled his hair. Then he turned around and left. 

“Good luck, guys!” Tony yelled after them and then they all were gone and he was alone. Again. While his team was on the way to a mission that sounded like routine but felt dangerous and all kinds of wrong. Shit. 

Tony walked over to the coffee maker. “JARVIS, what am I missing? Why do I feel like there’s something off about the whole thing?” He poured himself a cup and made his way down to the workshop, determined to find out what he was missing. Because he had to be missing something, he didn’t just get random feelings like that, but he also didn’t miss things because he was Tony Stark and a genius and missing important details wasn’t something he usually did so he sure as hell wouldn’t start now, especially not if it put his team in danger. 

He set the cup down on a desk that was overflowing with paperwork and pulled up a holographic desktop. “Let’s see what we got…” 

“The weapons itself are from a HYDRA-owned dummy company whose residence is in Mexico-City.” JARVIS displayed all the relevant data and pulled up a map as well. Five spots were marked in red  
“The marked areas are the places where the warehouses are at, every attempt to find the necessary factories for manufacturing this amount of weapons has been unsuccessful. It is important to note that the warehouses are all located at the Chihuahuan Desert near the American border. Hence I propose the possibility that the weapons are not in fact being manufactured in Mexico but at a location currently unknown. Sir, it seems as if HYDRA only uses the warehouses in Mexico to store the weapons. The process of shipping and delivery is documented nowhere, supporting the theory that the weapons are produced and distributed using illegal means.” 

Tony flicked through the data, absorbing every piece of it. “What, HYDRA engaging in illegal activities? Nah, J, don’t be ridiculous”

“Your attempt at humour is appreciated, sir. The Avengers have landed in Antelope Wells, they are ready to cross the border.” 

“Unmute the comms!” Tony said immediately, feeling marginally better. He could at least keep Steve and the rest up to date with what he found out, maybe there’d be something they could use there, you never knew.  
“Get me some visuals on the Avengers, JARVIS”

JARVIS hesitated slightly. “Would you like me to access the border control’s security feed and set up a live stream, sir?” he proposed after a short pause and Tony absently waved his hand. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, just get me the video, I wanna make sure they cross the border alright.” 

“Right away, sir. Unmuting communication and pulling up the video.” 

Tony breathed a sigh of relief as he saw Steve, Thor, Bruce, Natasha and Clint. They were accompanied by some SHIELD agent, Tony didn’t know the guy or maybe he did…they all looked the same in their boring black suits and perfect poker faces. 

“Hey, team, did you miss me? Here I am, tell me what’s going on, I know you’re about to cross the border, who’s the agent with you?” Tony asked at a rapid speed. His word vomit actually got a small chuckle hastily disguised as a cough out of Bruce. Tony deserved a fucking medal for that alone. 

“No useless chatting over the comms!” Steve replied, clearly through gritted teeth, and Tony couldn’t avoid the flashback to earlier. No! Bad!  
He cleared his throat.  
“And how do you know where we are anyway?”

“Trust me, Cap, you really shouldn’t ask Stark like that. You’re not gonna like the answer.” That was Clint and Tony had to admit that he was right. 

“We are being accompanied by Agent Sitwell, you should know him” Natasha supplied quietly and yeah, the name rang a bell. Somewhere. Deep down. Well. Wasn’t really that important now anyway. 

“Tell the border guy that his camera sucks, the video is grainy as fuck! Yeah, okay, so anyway, listen up, I got some new intel, not much, but something to keep in mind. There’s no production at the warehouses, they just store the weapons there. Pretty much what a warehouse is for. Oh, and the company’s just a dummy, sloppy work, too, I should’ve found earlier. So yeah, still no idea where the weapons come from, but I’m about to find out.” Tony watched the Avengers cross the border, leaving Agent Sitwell behind, and getting into a car. Oh god, it had to be real cozy in that car, snuggling with five adults, three of them bulky men. Poor Nat and Bruce. Tony just hoped Bruce wouldn’t hulk out, that would turn out nasty.  
“Be careful, guys, there’s nothing but desert where you’re at, no people and stuff.” He added as an afterthought after looking at the map again. 

“Alright, we’ll keep it in mind. Thanks, Tony. Now let us do our work and only use the comms if there is vital information to share.” Steve was using his Captain America voice and Tony couldn’t help but respond, “Sir, yes, sir, Captain Rogers, sir!” eliciting an annoyed groan from the Cap and a laugh from Tony himself. 

“JARVIS, keep broadcasting whatever they are saying, but turn off my audio. Thanks.”  
He had to work fast, they were nearly at the first warehouse and while Tony didn’t mind taking chances when it came to his own health, he didn’t like putting his colleagues in danger. At all. 

“The warehouse is currently occupied by thirteen people, four females and nine males” Natasha said quietly and Tony breathed a sigh of relief. Thirteen was nothing, not against five Avengers. Still, he would’ve much preferred to be on stand-by in the Quinjet somewhere close by, just in case. Stupid fucking broken arm. 

Tony absently listened to the rest of the team going over the plan – which he hadn’t been involved in, thanks again, Fury! – while researching everything there was on the company and those warehouse. Which, sadly, was close to nothing. 

The command “Captain, sit rep!” broke his concentration for a second. So this was Sitwell, the new SHIELD monkey. Nope, didn’t sound familiar. 

The voice that answered, however, was very familiar and Tony found himself listening attentively. “We have disposed of the car as planned, sir. Continuing on foot, all clear.” 

Ah, so that was the plan, walking through the desert. And people said Tony’s plans sucked…He just hoped they knew what they were doing. Sure, a car was conspicuous and they didn’t want to make a scene to avoid the possibility of altering the other HYDRA warehouses, but this was a fucking desert they were talking about! 

Tony really wished he was sitting in the goddamn Quinjet. 

“Sir, may I remind you that Captain Rogers asked you to schedule an appointment with Dr. Millers?” JARVIS asked smoothly as Tony switched through the different security cameras in the warehouse. He groaned loudly in response. “I’m working, J!” 

“On a mission from which you are officially benched, just as you are officially suspended from the Avengers duty”, JARVIS countered without missing a beat and Tony threw his arms up in surrender. 

“Okay, okay! Do it, call the fucking shrink if it makes you so happy!” 

There was a slight hesitation before JARVIS replied. “Sir, Captain Rogers has made me promise that I would make sure you called the psychologist yourself.”

Tony felt vaguely like screaming as he sat down on his huge swiveling chair and tried to focus on the videos in front of him. He took a deep breath.  
“Yeah, and that’s all cool and dandy, J, and I’m real happy that you and Steve get on so well, I really am, but you and I both know that it’s not gonna happen. Either you call and make an appointment, or there won’t be an appointment. I’d much prefer the latter, but I’ll leave it in your competent, non-existing hands.”  
No way in hell he was calling a shrink and Steve couldn’t make him. Steve especially couldn’t make his AI-butler do anything and since Steve was currently in Mexico, there was about no fucking chance that Tony would be doing as he asked. Not when he was asking shit like that. 

“It was worth a try, sir.” JARVIS replied, chuckling drily. “I am going to schedule the appointment for you. Do you want me to forward it to Captain Rogers’ calendar as reassurance?” 

“You do that, J, thanks. And I’m gonna get some more coffee so that my brain starts working again…hey! Talking about brain! Why’s Rhodey not with the team? Wasn’t it his mission to begin with?” Tony got up, collected his cold coffee, drained the cup in one gulp and poured himself a fresh, hot one. It really didn’t add up, though. Where the fuck was Rhodey? Where was the army? 

“Colonel Rhodes deemed it prudent to leave the matter in the hands of the Avengers Initiative, seeing as the initiative is part of SHIELD and as HYDRA and SHIELD have a long history.” 

No. No, no, no, that sounded wrong.  
“Rhodey’s words? Or did the military put him up to it?” Tony raised an eyebrow and took a sip of his coffee, leaning back in the stuffed leather chair again. He’d brought it to the workshop when he had vacated his office at SI and damn, it had been totally worth getting stared at! And yeah, he got, he was a billionaire, he didn’t have to recycle chairs, but this particular chair was just so fucking comfy… anyway, Rhodey.  
“Call Rhodes.” Better just ask the man in person. 

“Right away, sir.” 

The comms piped up as well. It was Steve, stating “Entering premises, undetected so far” and Tony’s heart sped up painfully. He should be there right now! 

“Tones, what it is?” Rhodey answered on the second ring and Tony breathed a small sigh of relief. At least he seemed to be okay. 

“Hey, buttercup. You alright? I got a quick question, can you talk right now?”

He could practically see Rhodey’s serious frown. “I’m at home. Did something happen? Is there a problem with the mission?”

“That’s what I wanted to ask you, actually.” Tony tapped the arc reactor, once, twice. “How come you’re not part of the mission? I mean, you were the one to ask me to research those weapons, and now you’re not even there to make the arrest?” 

Rhodey sighed and Tony’s stomach dropped. So there was some shit going on!  
“I wanted to go, believe me, and your Director Fury had cleared me and I attended the briefings and everything. Everything was ready, but when I gave my last report of the situation to my superiors, they commanded me to stay behind and said the US Army as a whole are distancing themselves from the situation. Something about not wanting to cause a national panic because HYDRA isn’t common knowledge and since neither is SHIELD just to let them handle it. Apparently the WSC and Director Fury don’t look eye to eye and the army doesn’t want to be dragged into it? I can’t tell you anything for certain, Tony, I’m sorry.” And he sounded it, too. 

Tony furrowed his brow and drummed his fingers against the reactor in thought. “Something feels off”, he finally murmured. “I cant put my finger on it, but there’s something strange about this mission and I don’t fucking like it.” 

“I’m not sure there is, though. I mean, the mission’s pretty standard, there won’t even be any civilian casualties as far as I know since there’s absolutely no folk that’s not HYDRA in that desert near the border. It seems like a stupid power play between the army, SHIELD and the WSC to me, to be honest.” Rhodes answered matter-of-factly and Tony threw his head back in desperation. 

“Alright, Rhodey. Still seems kinda wrong to me, but thanks anyway. Guess it’s just cause I’m sitting here, all useless...” 

Rhodey actually laughed at that. “That’s what you get for being such a workaholic! Get some more rest and don’t worry, they’ll be fine and back at your tower in no time.” 

“Right, right. Love you, too, platypus.” Tony sighed and Rhodey laughed even louder. 

“Bye, Tony!” 

The call disconnected and Tony groaned while hitting his head against the back of his chair. Fucking awesome. So Fury was still at war with the World Security Council…good to know. Though that relationship had been strained ever since the Battle of New York, so it didn’t come as much of a surprise. 

Suddenly Natasha entered one of the video feeds hovering in front of him and Tony’s attention snapped back to the mission. Right. They had entered the fucking warehouse and there was no alarm or anything. It was almost too easy.  
He watched Natasha silently knock out three HYDRA idiots on the ground floor while Steve surveyed the top floor. What a warehouse even had a top floor for, Tony didn’t know.  
Clint, Thor and Bruce where nowhere to be seen, but then again Clint was a sniper, it was his job not to be seen, and Thor and the Hulk weren’t exactly stealthy, so it made sense that they were holding back for now. 

It didn’t take more than ten minutes and the HYDRA minions were all knocked out. They hadn’t even had the chance to put up a fight. 

“Hawkeye, Thor, Hulk, you can enter. All clear. Agent Sitwell, you can take care of the situation from here on.” Steve said, voice all serious, and Tony watched as the Avengers gave the warehouse one last, thorough lookover. 

“The weapons are here, nothing out of the ordinary.” Steve supplied, most likely for the SHIELD guy. Tony was just reassured to see them all looking healthy and not injured. 

“Good work.” The agent – damn, Tony was bad with those SHIELD names! – answered. “Proceed to the next location. Act according to plan.” 

According to plan, apparently, was to steal the HYDRA people’s car. Okay. But what did he know about strategic military plans, he was just a lowly civilian after all.  
Tony snorted and his team climbed into a run-down van. He hoped Natasha would take selfies. 

“Everything okay, Doc?” he heard Clint ask quietly. Bruce’s answer sounded strained, he simply muttered “Holding up okay, don’t worry.” 

From his spot in the workshop, Tony watched the car leave the premises. Too soon it had vanished and Tony was stuck with audio only. Damn.  
He sighed audibly and rubbed his eyes. This sucked. 

“Sir!” JARVIS suddenly yelled, causing Tony to yelp and jump up in surprise. “A missile is approaching the car the Avengers are currently occupying!” 

“Fuck! How much longer till impact? Enable comms!” 

“Five seconds, sir.” 

“Shit! Guys, you’ve got a missile incoming!” Tony all but screamed. He heard the screeching of tires and loud cursing before the inevitable impact. There was a loud explosion and then – static. The comms were down. 

“Fuck!” Tony yelled, his hands balled in fists. His whole body was trembling and his eyes flickered over the screens frantically. There was nothing to see and nothing to hear. For all he knew, his friends were dead. Steve was dead. All because he hadn’t come with them. Fuck. 

“Sir, breathe.” JARVIS instructed calmly and Tony noticed that his AI was right, he’d stopped breathing. He unclenched his shaking fists and tried to calm his racing heart. 

“How long from here to…what’s it called?” he asked. He felt numb. This couldn’t be happening. Steve couldn’t be dead, especially not because of HYDRA, not now. He’d survived WWII, for fuck’s sake! They’d just had mind-blowing sex!  
An odd sense of detachment washed of Tony and he gripped the chair for support. 

“El Berrendo. It would take you approximately 36 minutes, sir.” JARVIS replied and Tony nodded. 

“Alright, vacation over. JARVIS, get me the suit.” 

“But sir!” the AI protested, “Your arm is still broken and you are clearly distressed. Not to forget that you were ordered not to participate in this mission!” 

Tony’s expression became hard and he clenched his jaw. “The others could be dying, J. They need me. I don’t care if Fury makes me apologize to the fucking president afterwards, I’m going. We clear?” 

“Certainly, sir. Just please be careful.”

“Always am, baby.” Tony murmured, but it lacked any sort of humor. There was nothing fucking humorous about the situation. 

The suit started assembling around Tony’s body as usual, but when it was time for his right arm and the glove to attach, there was nothing. Tony felt like crying. 

“It’s the cast, sir”, JARVIS said ruefully. “Your arm doesn’t fit into the suit when you are wearing the cast.” 

Right. Fucking awesome. How could he have expected anything less?  
Tony closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He could do this! His face morphed into a grim and determined expression and he walked over to the workbench in three quick strides. 

“Don’t try to stop me, J, you know it’s necessary.” 

With that, he picked up the nearest hammer and swung it down on the cast. The impact made him bite down on his lower lip and hiss out in pain. Fuck! His arm was trembling and it hurt as if he had applied the hammer directly to it. The pain was everywhere, distributed evenly, and Tony had the sneaking suspicion that it wouldn’t stop any time soon. Still. The cast had broken into three parts.  
Tony used the fingers of his left hand to pry them apart and dug out his right arm as gingerly as he could. It still hurt, but he’d have to suck it up. There were more important things right now. 

He places the suit’s arm on the workbench and put it on manually, then went on and did the same with the glove.  
His Arms was pulsating with pain, but he told himself that it was stabilized in the suit and that he’d be fine. After all, he always was. 

He just hoped the same would be true for the rest of the team. 

Finally suited up, Tony shot out of the tower at hypersonic speed, suit locked on the HYDRA warehouse’s coordinates. He’d just have to lean back for half an hour and enjoy the ride. Or, alternatively, try not to think himself into a panic attack and rather distract himself from the pain in his arm that was being shaken roughly by the repulsors, aggravating it even more. 

“So, let’s summarize, J. Fury and WSC get into some kinda bitch fight. HYDRA stores weapons right outside the US border. The US Army finds out about the weapons. I find out that they’re HYDRA, using SHIELD intel. Fury decides to take them out. The army withdraws. It’s SHIELD against HYDRA now.” Tony stated through gritted teeth after a few minutes. He had gotten used to the pain and it was little more than a dull ache now. 

“That seems to be the easiest way to summarise it, sir, yes.” JARVIS agreed and Tony hummed. 

“So…the army is on the side of the WSC…but what exactly is the WSC’s stand on this mission? And the whole HYDRA/ SHIELD thing? What is Fury hiding from us?” he mused loudly. Shit. He didn’t do politics, not really, that was Pepper thing, she was informed and she was the one who made sure SI had an opinion and all that jazz. Tony was a simple guy who just happened to make a shitload of money. And he knew all about manipulation techniques, sure, but usually it was for people to buy something or to keep their mouths shut about something. For fuck’s sake, he was pretty sure he wasn’t even supposed to know about the WSC, but he just couldn’t stop meddling. It was one of his many flaws. And right, okay, so maybe he did know a bit about politics and politicians, he wasn’t really an expert when it came to war strategies. He knew how to build the most lethal weapons, he could even use some of them, but warfare? On equal grounds? He didn’t even know the reason why Fury and the WSC were opposing each other except for the fact that the WSC made ‘stupid ass-decisions’ and less than 30 minutes wouldn’t be enough to solve that mystery, not even for Tony Stark. 

“It would take me longer than the remaining 21 minutes to attempt to find the source of the conflict. Do you still want me to try, sir?” JARVIS asked after Tony had been quiet for a while, but Tony just shook his head. 

“Nah, let’s do it when we’re home. Or just ask Fury after the mission or something. For now, let’s focus on the situation here. Any new intel on the Avengers?” Logically speaking, Tony knew that there wouldn’t be anything. But still. It didn’t hurt to ask. 

“I am afraid I have to disappoint you, sir. There is nothing in terms of security anywhere near the point the vehicle in which the Avengers were travelling was hit, so there is no way for me to find anything out about their states. I am terribly sorry.” And he sounded it, too. 

Tony sighed. “Thanks anyway, J.”

The next fifteen minutes passed without any news or disturbances and suddenly JARVIS announced, “You have just crossed the border, sir.” 

Tony snapped out of the trance-like state he had slipped into and blinked to clear his vision. He bit down on his lip to keep his breathing to spiral out of control again and surveyed the area. 

“J, give me any and all heat signatures. I wanna see every living thing around here.” 

He flew on until he saw smoke on the horizon. 

“That them?” he asked curtly and JARVIS gave him an affirmative. 

“Yes, sir. The next warehouse is approximately 50 miles from here.” 

Ever since crossing the border, Tony had slowed down considerably so as not to miss anything on the way. Now he cut the speed even more, but no heat signatures popped up on his HUD. 

Then the remnants of the van came into view and Tony’s breath hitched. He hovered in the air above it to calculate the damage. The whole setting reminded him eerily of Afghanistan and it was only the thought of Steve and the rest that kept him from curling up into a ball and crying. At least it hadn’t been his weapons this time. And really, that was an important realization because this missile? Sloppy work, just like the dummy corporation. It had caused the car to explode, sure, but apart from that, it hadn’t really caused additional damage. On top of that only the front of the van hat been hit. 

“J, what do you think? Could anyone have died here? Be honest, I can take it.” He lowered himself to the ground carefully and immediately started rummaging through the wreckage. 

“You can take everything, sir.” JARVIS replied with a sarcastic undertone and Tony’s face lighted up. “No one has died here, there has been some blood loss, but it doesn’t seem too severe. None of the Avengers should be in critical health just due to this accident.” 

And really, JARVIS was right, there wasn’t even that much blood. What there were, though, were obvious tire marks. Leading right to the second warehouse. 

“Hey, JARVIS, how do you feel about paying HYDRA a visit?” Tony asked as he leaped off the ground again and followed the trail. 

“Make it an unpleasant one, sir.” JARVIS deadpanned and Tony mock saluted. Oh, he would. Those fuckers would regret the day they decided to fuck with the Avengers. Assuming they survived, of course. 

As Tony approached the warehouse – lucky for him the Mexican desert looked nothing like Afghanistan, really – he heard the Hulk’s loud roars and he couldn’t stifle a laugh. Bruce was alive, Bruce was fine, Bruce was hopefully smashing HYDRA fuckers right now! 

The warehouse looked pretty much the same as the first one, except for the fact that a small army was gathered in and around it. At least 40 people were keeping the Hulk under constant fire and not even the green giant knew where and who to smash when the assaults came from everywhere, all the time.  
It sent a stab right through Tony’s heart. And it made him angry, furious, enraged even. Because this? This was a fucking trap and the Avengers had walked right into it! 

“J, where’s the rest?” He didn’t see Steve, Nat, Clint and Thor anywhere and it was creeping him out. Not even Earth’s mightiest heroes could take out what looked like a whole guerilla army by themselves. 

“I have located them. They are inside the warehouse in a small storeroom at the far right corner. None of them seems to be conscious, though Thor and the Captain show signs of waking.” 

“So they’re alright?” Tony didn’t need to hear anything else, only those three words, he just needed them to be okay, nothing more, oh god, please, they needed to be okay! 

“It seems as if no life-threatening injuries have been sustained.” JARVIS affirmed and the rush of relief that went through Tony was enough to cause his body to start trembling again. He was powered solely y adrenaline now and he would use it. He’d be fucking ruthless, those bastards didn’t deserve better!  
Still, he had to take care that he didn’t blow up the warehouse too early. First he needed to save his team, didn’t want them to burn to death. 

Which meant he’d have to take care of the army outside. Luckily, he could fly and shoot his repulsors. On top of that, their nasty, sub-standard little bullets wouldn’t even so much as scratch his suit. He’d obliterate those fuckers without breaking a sweat. 

He fired up his repulsors and blasted the idiots shooting at the Hulk away. The Hulk’s snapped up and Tony waved at him.  
“Hey, Big Guy! How’s it going? I’ve come to help you with the smashing.” 

The Hulk roared in reply, now that the shooting had stopped, and started ploughing through the rows of people around him. Immediately people rushed to replace the fallen shooters and resumed their earlier course of action, but the Hulk had newfound motivation now. And Tony needed the Hulk. 

Because as he had anticipated, a group of HYDRA bastards were rushing for the entrance of the warehouse, most likely to threaten the captured Avengers or use them as leverage. Tony wouldn’t have that. 

He flew over to the entrance and hovered on top of it. From that position, he fired both repulsors rapidly. It was obvious that HYDRA wasn’t prepared for Iron Man, their reactions became frantic. Although there were at least two hundred of them, they were painfully inferior to the suit. Some seemed to realize this and tried to flee and more soon followed. 

Tony had a split second to decide what to do – send his own missiles after the fuckers or let them go. When it became obvious that the fight was over and won, Tony decided on the latter. He hadn’t come here to kill any terrorists, he’d come to help his team. And his team was still locked up and injured in a fucking warehouse. 

“J, status!” he commanded as he landed and kicked open the entrance door. 

“Thor and Captain Rogers have awoken, the Agents Romanoff and Barton remain unconscious.” 

Tony rushed through the warehouse. It was completely empty, devoid of both people and stored weapons. The whole mission got only stranger with every passing second. 

He saw the door of the little storeroom turned prison cell in the corner. It had an electronic lock that was frankly embarrassing and Tony only had to place his hand on it for JARVIS to unlock it. Urgh, amateurs.  
He gripped the door handle tight and opened it with one fluid motion. 

“Tony!” Steve exclaimed and Tony felt close to simply collapsing from relief. However, collapsing during a rescue mission didn’t seem too cool, so he just held on to the door for support as he flicked open his face plate. 

“Iron Man reporting in to save the day. You walked into a trap, babe.” 

Steve looked horrible. Or about as horrible as Steve could look. Which was still pretty hot. But the head wound and the blood sticking to the left side of his face wasn’t. 

Thor, who was sitting behind him and currently checking Clint, didn’t look much better, all of his hair seemed to be soaked with blood. 

“Are you alright? Steve, Thor? What about our spies here?” He crouched down in front of Steve when he didn’t get an answer and gingerly touched the Cap’s head wound. 

That’s when Steve seemed to register that it was really Tony in front of his and grabbed his hand, staring at him in wonder.  
“Tony…what are you doing here?” 

He sounded pretty dazed, ouch. “Saving your collective asses, of course. You got quite the blow on the head, didn’t you?” Tony asked affectionately and turned Steve’s head to get a good look at the wound. 

“But…you’re benched.” 

Tony’s eyes snapped back up and he couldn’t help it, he gave Steve a quick peck on the lips.  
“And you were hit by a missile and the comms went dead. Of course I came here, I needed to make sure you’re okay.”

“Aye, Man of Iron!” Thor said, but it sounded more subdued and slightly slurred. Great. Concussed Steve and Thor. “We owe you our thanks for finding us this soon.” 

“Yeah, yeah, no big deal. How are Clint and Nat? Can we move them? And by we I mean myself, the two of you aren’t moving anyone other than yourselves.” Everyone was alive, not seriously hurt even, and Tony had avoided a catastrophe. He still couldn’t really belief it. 

In front of him, Steve struggled to stand up. At Tony’s raised eyebrow he just murmured, “I’m fine, I can carry Natasha” while propping himself up against the wall. Tony nodded. 

“Uhu, sure you can. If you wanna cause additional injuries from dropping her five times that is. Nope, you won’t be carrying anyone, sweetie pie. If anything, I’ll be the one carrying you.” 

At Steve’s indignant look, Tony gave him a strained grin. “Alright, I won’t carry you. You and Thor can support each other. Just walk right outside, Bruce should be changed back as well by now. I’m taking Clint and Nat.” 

The two assassins shared the same head wounds. They most likely hadn’t woken up because they lacked a superhuman healing factor, Tony told himself to keep from freaking out. It was normal to be unconscious after taking a hit to the head!

He held both of them close to his body and flew out of the warehouse.  
The place in front of it was still littered with knocked out HYDRA goons with different injuries. Tony forced himself not to take a too close look at them. Firing at them had been necessary, after all. 

Bruce really had turned back and was talking to Steve and Thor. They were sitting at the left side of the building in the shade, both Steve and Thor propped up against the wall. But they were totally fine, of course. Tony rolled his eyes. 

He landed next to them and set Clint and Natasha down next to Steve. Then his knees buckled and he blacked out. 

 

When he opened his eyes again, he was in medical on the Helicarrier. Everything hurt and he was fucking exhausted. 

He was in medical, that was disconcerting, but it was on the Helicarrier, that was downright worrying, and there was someone sitting on his bed, that was just plain strange. 

“Steve?” Tony croaked after he was quite sure that he wasn’t just imagining things. 

Steve whipped around towards him immediately and a beautiful smile lit up his whole face. Whoa. 

“Tony, finally! How are you feeling?” Steve looked…good. Healthy. Not injured. 

“…what about your concussion?” Tony asked instead of answering the question. “How long have I been out?” 

Steve seemed to be in a good mood, he didn’t stop smiling. “I’m nearly all healed. Got a bit of a headache, but that’s nothing to worry about. SHIELD arrived only twenty minutes ago, we’ve just crossed the border, you weren’t out for long.” 

Tony propped himself up and his elbow and sat up. That was good to hear. “What about the rest? They alright?” 

Steve nodded and reached behind Tony to prop up the pillow. Tony gave him a small smile and leaned back slightly.  
“Thor is completely healed and Nat is awake as well. She’s got a mild concussion but it’s nothing serious. Although she keeps saying something about a man with a metal arm, I’m not sure if she’s still a little confused. Clint is still out of it, but he will be fine as well.”

Tony breathed another sigh of relief. His rescue mission had been successful, everyone was saved. 

“Oh, and Bruce is sleeping it off right now” Steve added as an afterthought and Tony grinned. 

“Which leaves you.” Uh-oh. That didn’t sound too positive.  
“Thank you, Tony. We’d probably be dead if it wasn’t for you.” Steve spoke quietly and Tony didn’t trust his hearing. Had Cap really just thanked him? He could feel a blush creep up on his face. 

“I like you alive, so you’re welcome.”

Steve chuckled at that and started drawing circles on Tony’s left hand absently.  
“I’m really thankful, you saved us and it was good and quick thinking on your part. But you’re benched, you’re injured and you didn’t think about notifying SHIELD?” Steve’s tone was exasperated and Tony raised an eyebrow. 

“SHIELD. Huh. Yeah. I coulda done that. But I didn’t need them, everything turned out fine in the end.” He shrugged lightly and Steve scowled at him. 

“Right. Everything turned out fine. Except for the fact that you broke your cast – again –on purpose – again – and managed to worsen the fracture. As soon as we land, we’re going to Dr. Gupta and you’ll be getting a new cast – for at least six weeks.” 

Tony wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or cry. What a fucking bizarre situation. 

He did neither and intertwined his fingers with Steve’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading all of it!!! 
> 
> When I was halfway through the story, I realized that I didn't wanna stop yet, so I developed a plot for what was supposed to be only a short crackfic and then I noticed that it'd be impossible to fit it all in one story, soooo...
> 
> ...I'm writing a second part! Check it out, it takes place after the events from The Winter Soldier.


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